3 Months...

Doesn't seem like a long time, but in baby time -- it's an eternity!! Georgia is now 3 months old and wow has she changed!

Now she's holding her head up like a big girl on her tummy, is trying to sit up on her own, is getting a tooth, babbles all the time, giggles, occasionally gives high 5's, loves peek a boo, sleeps through the night (yay!!), and is just a joy.

Where did that three months go? I know I'll never get it back. It's just weird -- one day you have this teeny, tiny little newborn who feels like a feather and the next thing you know they weigh 15 pounds (or something close!!). I just visited a friend of mine on Friday who has a little boy that's a month old. It was crazy how much smaller and more helpless he felt than she did when I held him. And his cry still sounded little. His bootie fit in the palm of my hand. Stuff like that -- it's already different.

But then would you want to give up even ONE of these precious baby giggles or smiles? Any of this ever developing baby chub? Any of the coos and snuggles? The way she stops nursing to just GRIN because she's just happy to be alive? Starts nursing again just for a second and pulls away again because she just can't help herself -- just has to stare and smile. (Melts me in a heartbeat, by the way.)

No. Not a chance.

So you look back and remember. And you get a little teary eyed. And you feel a little bit sorry for yourself that the most recent and previous stages passed so quickly. And you vow to make every single second count. But then you (inevitably) take for granted what a treasure and gift every day is. And then you blink and you do it all over again.

When I was pregnant with Mitchell, I asked my friend who had an 18 month old at the time -- what's your favorite age been? Her answer was that every age was her favorite age. I totally agree.

Now that Mitchell's older, there are definitely more things that are difficult than when they're in that portable baby stage, but I still find that it's true. Yes, he can be sassy as all get out and throw some knock down tantrums that raise the rafters, but is there anything better than hearing your little boy say "Mommy, you're my best friend! I love you." ???

I'm sure there is, and I'm sure it's just around the corner.

Not a fan...

of being sick. Seriously -- it just sucks. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm keeping my perspective. I don't have a serious illness, it's not life threatening...it's just a cold. But it sucks.

It's the kind of cold where your throat is raw, you have back of the throat drainage, a cough that uses your entire chest and body/head aches. Doesn't that sound FANTASTIC???

I think the hardest part is to not lose my patience at home. I find myself being snippy faster -- I've apologized my fair share of times to Mitchell today. I think I'm just so ready to be laid out on the couch instead of chasing him around and everything that comes with a 3 month old girl. (How did THAT happen, by the way???)

Anyway - -I'm off to couch land. Just had to whine first. I hate being sick. I wished it hated me enough to leave me alone!!

Run, Run, Run

How do I manage to get so busy? I swear -- my life is just passing me by and I'm too busy to realize it. I blink and it's Wednesday. Blink again and it's Mid-May. What in the world?? Wasn't it just February? Wasn't it just Saturday? I can't keep up.

I always end up filling my calendar and then wishing I hadn't but it's a double-edged sword. I have many people I enjoy spending time with and that the kids enjoy seeing. In order to see them, you have to actually make an effort and get together. Then, there's M's school, there's my clients, family obligations on the weekends, working for my mom, running errands, MOPS, etc. It's just crazy. There seem to be a lot more showers, weddings, birthdays, reunions, parties, etc. this year than before. Maybe it's just that I'm more in tune with how hectic the pace of my life has become but I don't know.

I think it's a good problem to have -- better to be busy and active and stimulated (especially for the kids) than to be sitting around bored with nowhere to go, no one to see and nothing to do. I do cherish quiet days though and they seem to be few and far between these days. I think the key is to make a huge effort to slow down when I know I need to -- the hard part is saying no to things. That's really hard for me.

Okay, off to do laundry before I go to my mom's to work. Oh, and I need to make a list of what to pack for our weekend trip and....

hee hee

Feeling really blessed...

Ever feel like you're starting to get yourself into a little funk? Here I was feeling all sorry for myself because I've been tired, Mitchell was a pill yesterday, Georgia couldn't make up her mind about eating/sleeping/etc. yesterday, Chris has been working long hours again making me a pretty much single mom M-F, and I am now having trouble pumping milk again. Plus, I started seeing clients again and am trading daycare with my neighbor, so basically two and more likely three mornings will be taken up and now I have that stress to deal with.

I tell ya though, all it takes is watching the news to remind me of how EXTREMELY fortunate and blessed I am. That did it for me last night.

I mean, first of all -- I'm an American. The freedom and priveleges that come with being a citizen here are pretty much taken for granted on a daily basis. I'm also married to the most wonderful man - - he really is my soul mate and about as close to perfect a match as I could ever hope for. I may not be sure of much, but I am certain that he loves me at least as much as I love him. My children are two of the most beautiful, sweet, cuddly kids on the planet, and for whatever reason, I was chosen to raise them. Just being their mom is enough for me on most days -- except days like yesterday when I'm arrogant enough to be "blue" about piddly little things. My family is amazing, so is my husband's -- you know, I'd say 75% of the stress and drama we have with them is because people want to spend more time with us and our kids, or be involved in our lives in some way. (Why is that something that becomes stressful?) We own a nice home (nicer than I give it credit for), we have two nice cars, clothes for ourselves and our kids, more than enough food to eat, health insurance, and not much -- but a little money in the bank for a rainy day.

What in the world was I so upset about yesterday? Really -- it's embarrasing when I let myself get like that.

I was just watching the news.

Tub of goo...

That's me! And my stomach. And my thighs. And my rear end. And...

UGH. I FEEL SO FLIPPIN' FAT!!!!!!

I think I'd feel big anyway, but the fact that I lost 30 pounds (or so) before I got pregnant is not helping anything. My clothes were the smallest I'd worn in YEARS and now I can only fit into what were then my "fat" clothes.

I know baby weight is something, but I only have myself to blame. I have this enormous jelly-belly pooch after Georgia's birth and do you think I've done even ONE situp yet? No. 10 weeks and counting -- ugh. (again) I have made an effort to walk, but other than, no workouts of any kind from this sad sack of fatty tissue. Also -- I haven't been eating the best. I have had a MAJOR sweet tooth for some reason, which is strange since I am usually more of a muncher on salty/snacky things. This whole breastfeeding thing also has stimulated my apptetite like CRAZY!!! I am ALWAYS hungry -- ALL THE TIME. Makes it hard not to eat.

This week - I plan to tackle the food issue. Just healthy snacks. I will let myself eat as much and as often as I want to, but only healthy stuff. I'm the start of my own problem in that regard, so I may as well be the solution as well.

Also -- I want to try and work out twice this week. I feel like that's realistic. Do a tape, lift some light arm weights, do some lunges, etc. Hopefully I can make that happen.

I'm just so sick of nothing fitting right, nothing feeling good when I put it on, my thighs meeting again each time I walk. :( Wish me luck -- I'm ready to lose this weight.

Ups and Downs...

I think that grandparents have selective memories. I can't believe that I was a perfectly well behaved 3 year old all the time. Not with the stories I've repeatedly heard about myself. Sometimes I will vent about M's behavior to my mom and she says "He's three." Well, DUH, I know that. I don't expect him to be perfect all of the time, but I do expect him to listen to me and be good MOST of the time. I think lowering your expectations and standards with behavior only leads to one thing -- worse behavior because there's nothing to reign them in.

I was talking to her the other day on the phone while I was filling the tub for him and was telling her about him having a COMPLETE meltdown leaving the park, dumping (not spilling) his milk all over the kitchen table, turning the sprinkler on FULL blast in the back yard, running down the sidewalk from dh (thinking it was a fun game) -- all that day. Oh -- I forgot -- that was also the day that he asked for a drink of water while I was making dinner (fish). I filled up his glass at the sink and when I turned around, he had the trash can lid open, a horribly pained look on his face, and was spitting something weird looking into the trash. When I was filling up his water glass, my child had reached up on the counter and taken a bite of RAW TILAPIA!!!! Are you kidding me?? In the 3-4 min. I was on the phone with my mom and filling the tub and gathering his pj's, he managed to turn on the tub in MY bathroom full blast, climb on his sister's crib, and pull the "screeching streaker" move. Gee -- wonder why I was frustrated with him that day?

I don't want to make him sound like a brat -- he's not. He's a really good boy, but that day is a good example of a day where they ONLY times he'd do what he was told were when we'd raise our voices or take toys away from him for the day. That makes me sad because those are the days where I feel like all I do is say "No", "Quit it", "Please stop", "Put that down", "Get back here", "Calm down", "Get off of there", "Don't touch that", etc. It's exhausting and just doesn't feel good in general.

What's the alternative? Let him go, touch, play with, climb on, throw, eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and for however long he wants. I don't think so.

Most days are NOT like that, but the days that are give me grey hairs and it seems like he just laughs all day long because he's just getting a kick out of pushing Mommy's buttons or something.

Okay -- as I type this -- he took a break from dancing with The Wiggles to come over and tell me "Mommy, I love you. Let's have hugs." **melt** See, not all days are like that! (Thankfully, or I'd be writing this on a coconut shell from Hawaii.)

Playing Catch Up...

My brother had to have emergency surgery to remove his appendix on Sunday and ended up having some more trouble after they released him from the hospital Monday night. He got readmitted on Tuesday, so all day Tues/Tues night/Wed I was over at their house helping watch my 2 nephews. I'm pooped and am so happy to have been able to help them, but now I'm swamped in at home. Laundry is piled up, housework is everywhere, phone calls and emails to be returned, etc. And where am I? Escaping it all --- hee hee.

Ugh -- back to the mountain of neverending "to do's".

Oh, Mitchell has a program at preschool tonight -- I hope he actually sings and doesn't pull the shy act on me. :)

Just curious...

If you actually read this thing, would you just post in the comments of this little one for me? I usually feel like I'm talking to myself and I only know of two people that have told me they read it -- Hi, Kim & Amanda! :) Other than that, I think it's like self-therapy or something. Hee hee.

Thanks! Just curious to see who all is keeping up with this. (Watch -- it will give me stage fright and I will come down with Bloggers Block or something.)

Happy Tuesday! Off to eat an Easter egg.

Easter weekend...

was INSANE. Seriously, I feel like all we did was drive, eat and change clothes. Over and over. And over and over.

Friday night we colored eggs, but Chris was so tired that he wasn't into it at all. Not that I think he would have been anyway - -but he and Georgia (sleeping on his chest) just kind of sat there waiting for us to be done so we could go to bed. Mitchell had a great time and asked to "cook" some more. That's all that matters, right? They did come out pretty good, actually.

Saturday we had my nephew's 3rd bday party way across town at 10:30. It was fun -- at the fire station and then the rec center -- but kid bday parties are always just loud and crazy. My parents kept Mitchell from there and we took Georgia to Barnes and Noble with us to shop for an anniversary gift for our friends. Came home, freshened up, fed her and out the door again we went. Got home a little after 9.

Up at 6 to get ready for 9:30 church. Had to pick my grandma up on the way -- met my parents and Mitchell there. Georgia and I had to cut out after communion (and I had to cut in line -- good thing my dad was an usher) because I was about 2 minutes away from running around with a wet shirt.Then we piled in the car, drove back across town for brunch at my IL's. We got there at about 11:30 and stayed until about 3. Georgia screamed the whole way home which means my shirt (through the pads and all) was soaked by the time we got back. She had pooped in the car and was just really mad and VERY pissed. So, we changed both of our clothes, and Mitchell's shirt -- he had chocolate on it. Pile back in the car and drive back across town to my mom and dad's for dinner. My brother ended up getting really sick and my sister in law had to take him to the ER in the middle of dinner. Turns out he had appendicitis and had emergency surgery to remove his appendix last night. Scary!!

I'm just totally wiped out today. I missed doing Easter Bunny stuff -- all because we were running around trying to make everyone else's day. Well, next year -- it's going to be less US rushing and more US relaxing. I think it just gets to be way too much. I am sure there will be some toes stepped on and feelings hurt when we don't see absolutely everyone but you know -- people need to understand what we go through with all of this. I felt exhausted and cranky at the end of the day -- so did Chris and the kids definitely did too.

I think the worst part is that I wasn't able to focus on the real meaning of it because we were so busy rushing around all day. Next year will be different -- I can't do that again. Can't wait for Mother's Day. Sigh.

Remember Ziggy?

The cartoon guy. I always remember the little guy sitting at his desk at work, buried under an overflowing inbox and a puny little pile of stuff he managed to get into his outbox.

I feel like Ziggy.

Between laundry, cleaning the house, feeding Georgia, potty training with Mitchell, cooking and dishes, pumping milk, cleaning that/bottles, and getting the three of us cleaned up and bathed every day -- I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

As soon as I clean something, all I have to do is turn around or blink and it's nasty again. I just did a mountain of laundry last week and I already have 3 loads waiting on me again. The floors are disgusting. I need to vacuum. Again. I still have to figure out when I can clean up Georgia's closet and our closet. Forget about some serious cleaning -- I'm convinced it's just NOT going to happen.

I'm sure this is how I'll feel till the end of having kids at home -- so maybe I should be thankful that this is the situation. It means I have a family to love and keep up with and that the house isn't going anywhere. I can take messy, I just can't take filthy. I guess I'll live with clutter and fight the dirt. My kids and my husband are more important -- I'm sure I'll get over it, it just feels overwhelming most days.

I'm torn about whether a bigger house would make it worse or better -- more house to clean, but more space to put stuff. That feels like half our problem -- no room for anything. Anyway -- that was my thought for the day.

Potty training...

is NOT my favorite thing in the world. I think it's just so frustrating. Not for him, but for us. We know he can do it, he just doesn't care.

I've also found that potty training is something that is REALLY hard not to feel that tug of peer pressure/wanting to keep up with other kids thing for me as a mom. I just feel like he's the LAST one potty trained out of all of our friends with kids his age and some kids have been diaper free for a year now! (Holy cow -- that's a lot of extra money!!) I also don't think it helps now that we have two in diapers -- extra frustration with trash, cost, actually changing them, etc.

I'm afraid to jinx myself but I think we might be close to turning a corner. The other night after his bath I had Mitchell all wrapped up in his towel and we were singing songs. All of a sudden he stands up and says "Mommy, I think I want an Elmo sticker." (He can pick a sticker if he pees in the potty. We have a little chart on the wall next to the toilet.) I said "Well, that means you have to sit on the potty and go pee." He says "Okay!" and jumps right on up there. Boom! Instant pee in the potty.

I about fell over. And cried. I was SOOOO proud of him!! I mean -- to not pee in the tub, to not get up there when prompted but to have this all be his idea because he felt like he had to go -- that was AMAZING. He's almost 3 and a half and he's NEVER sat on the potty on his own. Ever. It was really cool!! I made a HUGE deal out of it, we went downstairs so he could brag to Georgia and Daddy and he got his "pee pee chocolate".

The next morning I asked if he wanted to go pee on the potty and he said "Sure." His pull up was dry from overnight (this is the part where we know he can do it) and he hopped up there and boom! Instant pee in the potty again. He also went another time yesterday!

I think we might have BIG issues transitioning to other potties, but we'll just get him successful where he's at first and then branch out. I got a new video and two new books at the library for him this morning. We'll see if he cares about those.

Wish us luck!!! I'm SO ready for this to be done and I'm hoping he's one of those kids I keep hearing about. You know the ones that train themselves in a week when they decide they want to do it. That would be fantastic. And unbelievable. :)

A literal mountain...

of laundry. Seriously. It was piled on top of our tall, cylinder basket halfway up the wall. Another pile on the floor next to it, and yet another full basket downstairs.

How in the world does that happen? There are only 4 of us!! I think we just have been so busy running around that we've changed our clothes a lot. Plus we had several poopy incidents this week, and I changed all of our sheets. Still...that's a LOT of clothes. I don't mind doing laundry, but that was a daunting task. It took me 45 minutes just to sort it all. I have 3 of the 6 HUGE loads done, 3 more staring me in the face today. I'll win -- I'm a woman on a mission now.

Sigh.

I still need to dust, vacuum, clean the bathrooms, do the floors, and clean the oven. When? Not sure. This weekend probably. There just isn't enough time in the day and the weather's been so nice that I haven't wanted us to stay cooped up in here. What's the poem that goes around by Erma Bombeck -- the dishes can wait, I chose to spend time with my kids instead? That's my inspiration.

I think I'm making the right choice -- it just makes coming home to a mess a little difficult. Oh well, it's one or the other!!

Too many people...

Okay, I'm a people person -- I like people. Like being around them, watching them, getting to know them, listening to them, etc.

HOWEVER...

There is a point where too many people make an otherwise enjoyable time not so enjoyable. This was definitely the case at the zoo yesterday. I got there and was like "Holy Crap" as we drove up. We were like the 10th car in line, just to turn into the parking lot. I have a zoo membership and we go at least once a month if not more and I've NEVER seen it like that. I guess it was just spring break families, but I think the fact that it was also over 60 degrees for the first time in a while after some snow got everyone excited to be outside. I do have to say that it was PERFECT weather wise for a trip to the zoo.

So, we finally park at the very far corner of the lowest level of the parking lot, wait like 5-10 min. for the elevator and get up to the gates. The longest I've ever waited in line at the members window was like 3 people. I waited in line for 10 minutes. Mitchell was GREAT. I was so scared he was going to run off and it was just a mess of people. He stood right next to me and held my hand the whole time. (Thank you Lord, for small miracles.)

Of course, I need to point out, this is the environment I chose for my first ever non-store related outing with the two of them by myself. Just my luck!! It was fine but instead of a leisurely stroll through the zoo with our friends, we constantly had to keep yelling at the kids to stay with us, and navigate through more strollers and wagons than I cared to see. The wait in line for tickets to ride the carousel and train was 5 minutes, the wait to ride each of the rides was 10 minutes. Not bad, I know, but it's not Disneyland, it's the Denver Zoo!! It was just crazy.

Luckily, we made it until about 5 minutes before we left without behavior issues and then we just started having a nap-needing mini meltdown. Didn't want to walk, didn't want me to carry him, didn't want to ride in the wagon with Hailey, didn't want to do anything. So, I ended up carrying him and pushing the stroller up this huge hill. Not fun - but hey, a good workout, I guess.

Anyway, I'm glad so many people were able to enjoy the day at the zoo, but I would say I just survived it. Oh, and NO WAY am I going to Disneyland until she's in kindergarten!!

Spring Fever...

I have it!! I'm SOOOOO sick of being cooped up in here. It's been cold and windy and with kids that were already a little sick, especially baby G, I'm not all that excited about having them out in that kind of weather.

Well, it's supposed to be in the 50's and 60's this week and I'm PSYCHED. I just want to get out in the fresh air and sunshine and I know that Mitchell needs it as badly as I do. We're getting a little sick of each other, I think. There are only so many consecutive days you can be locked up inside these four walls staring at each other. The toys are old hat, I'm old hat, he wants to just get out, run, and get dirty. I want to get out and walk. They have built some GREAT parks out in our neighborhood and Mitchell loves to play at them. They're a nice walk away too, which is great for me. Can't wait until we can do it DAILY.

I think that I need to do some spring cleaning, too. My friends from lamaze class with Mitchell all pitched in and got us a gift certificate for housecleaning. We get a 2 hour cleaning session -- I just need to call and schedule it. I think I'll see if they can come sometime next week, preferably when Mitchell is at school. It will be so nice (but weird, I'm guessing) to sit here and watch someone else clean my house!

I'm done with winter -- bring on the spring weather!!

The kids are sick...

Yep, even Georgia. It's so heartbreaking to have a person that teeny tiny be sick. It started out that she was congested last week. I remember expressing a bit of concern to a couple of people about it, but always got the "all newborns are stuffed up" thing. Then she had her 2 week appt on Wednesday -- he didn't seem concerned, but she wasn't too bad at that time. Well, Thursday rolled around and I felt like complete poop.

Wake up Friday morning, Georgia's miserable and so am I. Fight through Friday and looks like everything's fine -- I'm in the bathroom around the corner and hear "cough/splash, cough/splash". I thought "Oh no!!" Sure enough, Mitchell had thrown up twice all over the living room. (After eating his red fruit snacks, btw. We have light grey carpet. Yes -- it was as pretty as it sounds.) There was quite a bit of mucous in it, even though he didn't sound stuffy and hadn't been coughing, I had a feeling it was the same thing as G and I were dealing with.

He woke up Saturday morning -- yep, he's got the crud too. (Personally, I'm suspicious that he had it first and showed up sick the latest, but we'll never know.) This weekend basically just SUCKED because the three of us were just sick. Poor Chris -- hope he doesn't get it. We whipped out the lysol and clorox all weekend and both of our hands are dry as bones from washing them over and over.

Throw the illness on top of a huge temperature drop and a snowstorm and boy howdy! Does it GET more fun than this??? Only when your kids don't sleep - like last night. Mitchell was up from 1 - 3:45. So fun!! NOT. Ugh. We even gave him tylenol which usually makes him conk out, but that didn't help. He was just awake and looking miserable. Oh well. He's up and at 'em this morning and doesn't seem to be feeling too badly, so hopefully that's a good thing. The encouraging thing about him is that his snotties are still clear. Georgia's got all of this green and yellow goo that makes me a bit nervous. Oh well, we called the ped and they said it sounded like we were doing all of the right things -- I'm just ready for her to feel better and breathe easily. Poor thing -- she's too little to be sick. Makes me so sad. :(

Okay -- he's done eating breakfast now. Gotta run -- should be a LOOONNNNGGG day. Oh, and Chris has to stay late tonight -- I don't know who's more upset about that -- him or me. Both, I guess. Oh well, wish me luck with today!!

Little guy...

My Mitchell is the sweetest boy. I know that he has his moments, and he has a temper (hmmm, where would he have inherited that from???), but his spirit really is so dang sweet.

Today he woke up from his nap when the phone rang -- I have to figure out how to turn the ringer off on our new phone upstairs -- and came downstairs. I could tell he was still really sleepy so I turned on Sesame Street and we just snuggled under a blanket on the sofa together. (Georgia was asleep in the pack n play.) He was laying there and just cupping my face in his hand. Every once in awhile he'd kiss me on the cheek. Then, out of nowhere he turns to me and says "I love you very much, Mommy. You're great." **melt**

Come on! That's the SWEETEST thing and I will just have to remind myself of exactly who he is next time he's trying to smack me during a tantrum! :) He is such a good boy and luckily he's bought into all of our praise and encouragement about being a good boy and making good choices this week. Seems to be motivating him. Tantrums and fits are still here, but not as often and not lasting NEARLY as long. If we leave him alone, he just needs a few minutes to calm down and gather himself. (Plus, save a little face, I'm sure.)

Anyway -- feel like I've only rambled about Georgia, her pregnancy, her arrival, blah blah blah. I really am appreciating the sweet, sweet boy that we have at home. He's a blessing and I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be his mommy. I just love him to pieces. He's spending the night at my inlaws tonight and I'm teary right now because I miss him. It's too quiet!

Hmmmm...

What to say? What to say?

Got a new hairdo -- didn't lose a lot of length, put some layers in. I think it's cute and I got rid of some of that hair -- felt like I had a helmet head. Amazing how good a haircut can feel. Wish I could hire someone to wash my hair for me every day -- why does it feel so much better than when I do it myself??

Oatmeal raisin cookies are yummy. They also make husbands and sons give you hugs and kisses. :)

A hot cup of coffee on a cold day with snow falling is really a nice thing. Especially when you can share it with your husband.

My house will never stay clean. Ever. Just realized this and thought I'd share.

If there is a sport on television, my husband will watch it and find a side to root for. If there are no sporting events on, he will settle for sportscenter that he's already seen before. Twice even.

Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator...even though I've been stalling for over an hour, my laundry still sits there and I still have thank you notes to write. Sigh. Oh well..

No plans...

It is SOOOO nice to say that we have no plans for today. None. At all. Not one thing.

Sometimes life just gets too crazy and I end up just running around. Whether it's running from here to school, running errands, heck...running up and down the stairs 49 times doing laundry... it just feels good to have a day where I can sit on my bootie and not do a darn thing if I don't want to.

Is there laundry to do? You betcha. Dirty dishes? Definitely. Bathrooms to clean? Of course!

Guess what -- there are also oatmeal cookies to bake, naps to take, books to read, kids to play with, a husband to cuddle with and good music to enjoy. My couch needs me today. Those cookies are DYING for me to whip them up. The backyard finally gobbled up my two guys and their soccer ball.

What a great day -- for doing NOTHING. (We are going to church though.)

Totally on a different topic -- just picked Georgia up out of the swing to put her in the pack n play for the rest of her nap. I absolutely LOVE IT when I pick her up and she gets all froggy with her legs and little but. Ugh. She's gonna grow too fast...soon she won't fit on my chest, under my chin all snuggled up. Too soon I'm going to be holding someone else's newborn saying "My kids were never this little."

Leave it to me to cry about her getting too big when she's the littlest she'll ever be. Sigh. As if I don't have enough to worry about. I think for today -- I'll just decide to cherish her the way she is and give her more snuggles and kisses than she needs.

Off to the oven for some cookies!!!

I have two children.

That is the strangest thing to say.

"Hi. I'm Tara. I have two children." WHAT?!?! How in the wide world did this happen? Okay, hee hee, I know HOW it happened, I just mean...how did this happen so fast? When did I blink? I feel like it was just yesterday that we were bringing Mitchell home from the hospital and now he's the "Big" brother. Blows my mind.

Chris and I were driving the other day and he said "So, we're a family of four now." I said "I know...it's weird, huh?" It's definitely a good thing and we are of course thrilled that Georgia is here and part of our family...it's just quite strange to have it be a reality.

We have two carseats. We have a highchair and a booster seat. We have a crib and a big boy bed. We have a boy and a girl. We have a swing next to the train table. It's just so bizarre.

I know it will get harder -- I haven't left the house by myself with both of them yet, but so far so good. I did get both of them ready by myself on Tuesday and we were out the door in time for school, so that was good. (I let Chris sleep in -- sort of wanted to do it as a test run.) I think Georgia is falling into a pretty good feeding routine that will work out with us getting out of here on time in the mornings.

I think the most surprising thing about having two kids is how it feels to say that out loud. We are so very blessed...two little cutie pies. What did we ever do without them??? (And what in the world did I do with my TIME???)

Georgia is here!!!

Okay, so a week and a half later...and I finally remembered that I have a blog! :)

After all of that stuff leading up to her birth, really all it took was someone telling her she COULDN'T be born last weekend, and boom...there she was, insisting on it! Apparently the doctor on call from my ob practice requested no inductions last weekend because she had a big charity function to attend. Well, Saturday afternoon Georgia decided to kick things into gear anyway.

I got a big, huge contraction out of the blue, enough to double me over on the bed and use some breathing to get through it. I told Chris that it was DEFINITELY a real contraction and that I thought this was the day. We kept our eye on the contrax and for the most part they were 8-10 min. apart for the better part of 2 hours. When we called the ob to tell her that, she was hesitant to let us wait for my father in law at the house because she said you just never know how quick these 2nd babies want to come out. It ended up being fine. He arrived like 15 minutes later and we were on our way.

We got to the hospital around 5, and by the time we got checked in, up to the L & D floor, settled in, paperwork filled out, etc. they checked me and I was at 5 cm and totally thinned out. I about did a happy dance!! I told them that my plan was to hang out and walk around as long as I could before getting my epidural because I didn't want to be stuck in bed the whole time. They were fully supportive of that and we were on our way. Unfortunately, it was all back labor again. That pretty much stunk, but you take what is given to you, right? I actually felt good about just breathing through them and doing this little hula hoop swishy circle thing my nurse showed me. My AMAZING coach and hubby did a great job of helping me through them and we had a good laugh at him hula hooping along with me for awhile. They started getting stronger and I had Chris push really hard on my lower back to get me through them for the middle-last part of the time.

Oh, I should add that since my doctor was at the charity function, she had another doctor covering for her. Not a doctor from my practice, but someone entirely different. Never heard of her, never met her, knew nothing about her. I do know that if our doctors trust her, then I have good reason to trust her, so I tried to go with that, even though I was pretty nervous about it. She came to see me and the plan was to get my epidural at 9, then break my water and go from there.

Well, at about 8:30 I got a KILLER contraction and I looked at Chris and said "Okay, this is getting stupid now" and we decided to just go ahead and get the epidural at that point. So, about 15 minutes later we got that going. Ironically, even though I lost the pain, the hour or so after getting my epi was the absolute WORST part of my labor. I got the shakes like CRAZY, my blood pressure dropped a bit and I was TOTALLY nauseated. I just felt really scared...our AWESOME nurse (Danny was his name) told me that it was partially because I'd been in total control of everything for so long and now I didn't have that control. Makes sense, huh? Anyway, we cleared out my family (mom, dad, brother, sister in law) to the waiting room and just tried to concentrate on resting, breathing and calming down. Worked pretty well.

I stalled out at about an 8, but you know, that may have just been Miss Georgia biding her time until my doctor was done with her dinner engagement. She got to the hospital around 10, checked me and had them start pitocin. An hour later and we were good to go. I pushed for about 20 minutes and everything was over. She came out and was good and healthy from the start.

I cried when she cried and just couldn't believe how fast it all went. She weighed 8 lbs, 1 oz and was 20 inches long. She has black hair, just sort of peach fuzzy on top and then quite a bit in the back. She's gorgeous and sweet and we are SOOOO beyond blessed to have her in our family.

I was right...we didn't know we were missing her here until she showed up. It's like she's always been here. Mitchell loves her and Chris and I are completely smitten. It's crazy that you'd choose to return to these sleepless, worrisome nights, but every time we hold her and look at her, there's no question that she was meant to be from the start. She's a little miracle and my heart is full with love and appreciation for the gift of her life with ours.

What a great day!!

And I didn't even have my baby!! :) I know, I know...if you've read any of this then you're wondering how it's possible that my miserable self managed to enjoy an actual day of pregnancy at this point. Well, it's simple...my hubby and my little boy did it for me.

We got up yesterday morning, lounged around, ate some breakfast and got Mitchell ready for school. Chris and I dropped him off together -- he did pretty good again, yay! -- and came back home. Neither of us had showered yet, so we did that and decided to try and eject Georgia with another DTD session -- obviously unsuccessful, but we did laugh through most of it. Finished getting ready and had a nice lunch at Quiznos. I swear, they have the BEST sandwiches, but my good gracious they're expensive. It was $17 for a kid's pack and our 2 sandwiches. At a sub place, but oh well...we chowed down. :)

We picked Mitchell up, who promptly informed us that he had a great day!! Hooray!! Oh, and EVERYONE was like "You're still pregnant?" Um, yeah...thanks there Captain Obvious and crew. (See me rolling my eyes.) Seriously, what do people expect your response to be? I'm SO over telling people about my last appt, how far I'm dilated, when our induction appt is, blah blah blah. Just wish us well and move on with your lives, people. Oh well, that was the last time I have to endure that torture, because he doesn't have school again until Tuesday and that will be baby-having day if she doesn't come before then!!

So, after we got Mitchell settled in the car with his lunch, we drove to the fire station to get the car seats checked. I've had M's seat checked there several times and got the information off of our hospital's website. Well, we pull up and I go to ring the doorbell for some assistance and there's this sign on the door. "Due to city budget cuts, the educational programs and car seat checks have been discontinued." :( Isn't that sad? We called my mom to have her look on the internet and the only other place doing any checks yesterday was like a 45 minute drive. No thank you. (Besides, Chris wouldn't waste the gas -- hee hee.) So, that's still on the ol' "to do" list. I think there's a place doing them today so we might swing up that way and get it done.

So...Chris asks if I want to go see my Grandpa at the cemetary. I was talking about him earlier in the day and how much I miss him, and we didn't end up making it out around Christmas so I said sure. Mitchell fell asleep in the car, so we just left him in there while we visited the gravesite. (It was like 100 yards away -- don't worry.) Usually I just like to go see, remember some special memories and say "Hi". Well, I got really emotional yesterday -- just kept thinking about how much he would LOVE spending time with Mitchell and how he's probably hog the cuddling of one Miss Georgia Reagan upon her arrival. I just started crying -- poor Chris. He said he didn't mean to make me sad --well, duh. Not you making me sad, buddy. I just miss him a lot, but I'm glad we went to see him. I know he's watching over us.

So, Mitchell was awake when we got to the car so we changed his pull up and drove to the BEST park a few miles away. The boys had an absolutely FANTASTIC time together. They were climbing and sliding and running and jumping. Just having so much fun. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, so that was a bonus, too. We let Mitchell play for about half an hour and then decided to get some walking in. There is a little pond you can walk around at this park, so we headed that way. It was like paydirt for Mitchell -- TONS of ducks and geese flying in and swimming in the melted section of the frozen pond, and on the other side, a HUGE excavator and dump truck working hard. He saw the truck after hearing the "Boom" from the rocks being dumped in and said "Whooooaaaaa...look at that, you guys!! That's AWESOME." :) So, we watched the trucks for awhile, then we watched the ducks/geese for awhile. He would just giggle like crazy when they'd fly in. It was such a fun time! We took my 40 week belly shots in front of the pond, actually.

Then we coaxed (okay, bribed) Mitchell back to the car with the chocolate chip cookie from his kid's pack lunch. Drove home and we all just bummed around until we were hungry for dinner. I watched Oprah and took a nap, not sure what the boys did -- they watched the repeat of the Daytona 500 and played ball, I know that. Then we got up, went to dinner and came home. We watched the Olympics and read with Mitchell. (By the way, Mitchell loves to watch "The Impics." :) Put him to bed and called it a night.

It was such a fun day. Chris and I were talking while we were driving and I told him I was so sorry that he was missing work. He said that he wasn't sorry at all. He said the reason he works so hard is so that he can enjoy some family time without having to worry about having enough vacation or sick days -- he can take them when he needs them. Says he doesn't have one ounce of guilt about not being at work -- said this IS paternity leave. I'm where I'm supposed to be. He also told me that there's a big wide world out there that he misses every day by sitting in his office and to be able to see it through Mitchell's eyes and share it with us as a family is his favorite thing to do and he wouldn't trade it for anything. It was really nice to hear him say those things because I really felt like my little false alarm meant he was wasting his time -- he thinks he'd really be wasting all of our time if he was at work. Sigh. Love him.

Not sure what's up for today...and I kind of like it that way. Don't get me wrong...I'm still READY for her to make her entrance and join our family, but another day like yesterday wouldn't be so bad.

Strange goings on...

Well, I had some pretty good contractions last night during Georgia's normal active period. Enough to make me stop what I was doing...and enough to start timing them when Chris got home. They were like 10-15 minutes apart most of the time. The funny thing is I got REALLY tired and just conked out, so I think I probably slept through quite a few of them last night. I'm HOPING this is the start of something, but who knows.

Chris was going to go to work today but decided he'd rather stay home -- doesn't want to leave me. I'm glad. We'll see what happens.

This sucks...

Okay, so EVERYTHING has annoyed me today. Mitchell woke up in a cranky, sassy mood and that pretty much put me in the same frame of mind, unfortunately. It's just hard not to start off on the wrong foot when you have a whiney, sassy kid following you around being mouthy at 6:30 a.m. Poor Chris -- I think he just really tried to stay out of my way today, which was probably smart. He took Mitchell to run some errands after lunch and they showed up at home with some ice cream -- even smarter move. :)

I don't know...I just felt sort of "on edge" today. Not mad, not upset, just very irritable. Mitchell didn't take a nap today so we're getting ready to head up to the bathtub and then bedtime early tonight. He's so cute...he's sitting there reading books to himself right now. I asked him if he wanted me to read to him and he said "No, mommy...I'm reading by myself." It's so cute to hear them read the stories in their own words. His favorite book right now is "The New Baby" by Mercer Mayer. He reads it probably 5 times a day. Hope that's a good sign.

We decided that Chris will go back to work tomorrow and Friday so that he can take 2 more days off next week and not go back to work until the 13th. That would be great if it works out like that...we'll just see.

I've had lots more contractions yesterday and today...when I have them now, it's strange. It's almost like it frames Georgia -- like I have a cinder block in there -- gets all boxy. They're definitely stronger and more obvious, but not hurting and not regular...yet. We'll see. Chris did leave to go coach his mock trial team...maybe that's all it will take!! Him leaving for that and threatening to go back to work and we'll trick her out! :)

Anyway...at least we'll come home to a clean, much more organized house. We got a LOT of stuff done today...sorted through the toys in the living room, moved some up to Mitchell's room, moved books/office stuff out of the other half of Mitchell's closet, etc. I also did the floors again, dusted, and cleared out the junk mail. I think I'll throw a load of laundry in tonight after I put him to bed and then I'll call it a day myself.

Did I mention I'm ready for her to come out? I am...very ready. Sigh.

Forget it...

I'm done trying to be happy and cheerful the whole time. I want my baby and I want her now!! I know in the grand scheme of things, a week is only a matter of 7 days. I know this...I'm a logical, rational, thinking person. I'm aware that a week's time is nothing. But you know what, when you've spent the last 40 weeks with this date firmly cemented in your family's future history -- a week beyond it DOES seem like a long time.

I mean, what if you had your dream vacation planned for the 20th and the 20th gets here, your bags are packed, the house is clean, everyone (and I mean the entire free world) knows you're "leaving", you get to the airport and find out your plane is delayed. Delayed? For how long? Well, not sure. It COULD be that things could go into motion on their own and your plane could leave anytime now -- go home and wait to see if that happens. If nothing happens before the 27th, then call us at 7:30 p.m. on the 27th and we'll tell you if THAT flight to Hawaii has room for you. If not, then we'll certainly get you in as soon as possible.

NOW does it seem like a long time, people????????? Because it sure does to me!!!!!! I think the thing that's also complicating things is that Chris had to schedule his paternity leave WAAAYYY ahead of time. I guess we should have anticipated this (hindsight-right?) and had it start NEXT Monday? But you know, then she would have been early.

Anyway... I know people just try to make you feel better, but in the moment, a week feels like an eternity to me.

Trying to enjoy it...

After we put Mitchell to bed last night, Chris and I were laying in bed watching tv and talking. I think he's probably so sick of hearing "Are you excited?" "Are you nervous?", etc. Seems like I'm always trying to see if his current emotional state matches mine. He's such a sweet guy though, never sighs or rolls his eyes like "Dang, woman -- leave me alone," which is what I'm sure he'd love to do. He indulges me and takes part in my little conversations.

We were talking last night about how rare a moment we might be enjoying. Laying in our bed before 10pm with no noise in the house, having a quiet conversation. I know that I've been so antsy for her to arrive, but I know once Georgia's here, it's gonna be all chaos and even when we *can* be in bed together at night, we'll both just fall in exhausted and sleep like logs. There will be middle of the night feedings, pumpings, diaper changes, blowouts/clothes changings, etc. Not to mention, I have NO idea if all that commotion will impact Mitchell since the changing table is on the same wall as his bed. You know what -- that thought never even ENTERED my mind until now-- I hope it's not a big problem. Good thing he's a sound sleeper -- guess we'll find out just how sound though. Might have to get another plan in place for middle of the night changes if she's a big crier.

Anyway -- I think instead of obsessing over how much longer until we get to meet her, I need to start appreciating what we already have. Not to say I'm not still excited to hold her and get her out here as part of our family, but there are still *some* advantages to having her in my tummy. Sleep and rest and quiet being three off the top of my head. :)

Today's my due date, by the way. Off to the doctor at 10:15, and hopefully we'll come home with a planned birthday for her, in case she doesn't choose her own before then.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

It's FREEZING here. Yesterday the high was in the teens and the windchill at night is WELL below zero. So what did Chris and I decide would be a great thing to do yesterday? Yes, that's right...we put carseats in the car. In the freezing car. Inside of the freezing garage. For like an hour and a half. As you can imagine, by the end of that time, there was a mix of laughter and snippiness with each other. I have no idea why putting that infant base in was such an ordeal, but for whatever reason, it was. By the time I got inside, my butt cheeks were LITERALLY frozen. Just so cold. So I sat on them...warmed them up nicely that way!! :)

I can't imagine not having somewhere to live right now and trying to deal with that cold. Just even walking out to get the paper puts a chill in your bones for at least a few minutes. I know there are shelters and places like that, but you know not everyone is able to get to one for whatever reason.

On that same topic, we were watching the Olympics yesterday and the announcers happened to mention that the bobsled hill cost $93 million dollars to construct. How in the world can Italy find that kind of extra money? Or Greece for the previous summer ones to build a big stadium? Or Salt Lake City? And then what happens to those places? Do they get torn down? Do they just sit? I guess I don't get it -- doesn't seem like the best idea to just keep building these random things in random places to get used for 2 weeks when there are so many better ways to use the money. I mean -- if you really stop to think about the Olympics and how much money it takes to put them on -- it's astounding.

Anyway...not sure why I was thinking about that, I just was.

I got all of the cleaning done, which makes me feel great. I was watching the video from when we brought Mitchell home the other day and GOOD LORD our house was nasty. There was stuff EVERYWHERE!! Now, true, it was the beginning of the Christmas season, so I still had some decorating boxes out and stuff, but it was clutter city!! Those were the days when we still had a coffee table (which is LONG gone now) and you couldn't even SEE it, there was so much stuff on it. I refused to have that happen again, so we're looking good now. Even all of our laundry (except for yesterday's stuff) is clean. Chris' dress shirts -- everything! Feels good. I think today I'll run the vaccuum again and clean the kitchen from top to bottom. I also need to sterilize my breast pump parts and the bottles and nipples so those are all good to go. I think I'll also get Chris to pull out the fridge and oven for me so I can clean behind there. Been bugging me for some reason. Other than that, we're good and she can come anytime now!! If not, we have a dr. appt on Monday morning.

In other words, don't look for a new post until after my appointment tomorrow. Sigh.

Well, if it means anything...

I cleaned like I'd never get the chance again yesterday. I'm a little sore today, but it feels good to have it done. I have several more things to check off of my cleaning list today, but we'll just see what the day brings. It sure would be nice to get it all done and bring her home to a nice, organized clean home. Ha!! Right. Like it will stay like this or something. Not.

With Mitchell I never had the "nesting" thing kick in. Might have been busy using that up at work, trying to get ready for maternity leave. With Georgia so far, it's just been organizing and de-cluttering. Yesterday though, I just felt like kicking it into high gear with cleaning. Plus, it was cold and snowy out, so that helped that we were in for the day. Same thing today, so we'll see what happens.

I'm at the point where the majority of our phone calls and/or emails are either daily checkins from family or "Is she here yet" inquiries from family/friends. It's nice to be thought of and prayed for, but it would also be nice to not have to say "Not yet" and tell how I'm doing 14,000 times a day. (Okay, maybe not quite that many.) Know what's funny? Even Mitchell asked me yesterday "Is she ready to come out of your tummy yet?" I guess maybe I must look like she can't possibly stay in there any longer or something, huh?

I'm really excited that Chris is done with work after today. Maybe she'll come this weekend on her own...or in the first part of next week? That would be GREAT!! We'd love that! Too bad we're not in charge. Funny how these babies run the show even before they take their first breaths, huh? Oh well...at least we still have time to install the car seat! (Um, yeah...can you tell Chris has put that little task off? I'm ANAL about it so I'm about ready to do it myself!!!)

The waiting game continues...

Stiiiiilllll going...

Had my 39 week appointment yesterday. No change. Nothing doing. It was with the doctor I'm probably least comfortable with in the practice. She's not very friendly...not unfriendly, just I always get the impression that she'd rather be somewhere else. She never tries to familiarize herself with me, my situation, anything personal like that. Just all business. I guess that's good because I'm sure she'd be great at actually delivering the baby -- but it's such a personal experience that I prefer someone who also wants to know you and a little bit about you. I would think it would be quite an honor and privilege to be part of helping someone's family grow and bringing a new life into the world. I guess that's just me...I'd try to make sure that the personal part of it was as as important to me as the medical/business part of it if I were an OB. Oh well... hopefully she won't be on call when I need to deliver, but if she is, it will be fine.

My friend gave me very good advice yesterday. She told me that as hard as it is, to try to take a step back and appreciate the experience. Focus on the amazing child I've been raising for the past three years and see him in a new light. Concentrate on what truly a miracle it is to have another little person growing inside of me and appreciate what a blessing it is to be able to do this. I think she's absolutely right. This is the last child for us, so these are the last few days I'll EVER be pregnant, and as miserable as I am at times, I know I'll miss it. As eager as I am to hold and cuddle and snuggle her, I know I'll miss watching her move inside of me...there's just something magical about it.

Anyway...I'm trying to not to be too big of a complainer here at the end, but sometimes it's just hard. It will be over soon and we'll have her to hold and this will seem like forever ago. I do remember that. Waiting is hard in general...like waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting for a package to come in the mail, waiting for a phone call from a friend, waiting for a loved one to come home. I can honestly say though that waiting for a little person that you helped create and grow into a strong, healthy human being is the hardest waiting of all. That said, it's more than worth it.

Random thoughts on a Sunday morning...

Well, if you'd like to know, the title for each new blog post is usually the stumper for me. Since I don't have a specific topic in mind this morning, thought I'd just call it what it is and be done with it.

I felt AWFUL yesterday -- bathroom issues. My dad and mom were sweet enough to take Mitchell to a friend's birthday party for me, which ended up being a good thing. I didn't feel okay again until I woke up this morning. The issues resolved like mid-afternoon, but I still didn't feel really great. I found out that not only did they go, but that my sister in law, brother, 2 nephews and my sil's sister all went too. I really couldn't believe it when I heard that -- who would ever think to do that? (My family, obviously.) I was of course concerned about how my friend received them. I mean, it was in a restaurant that has tons of kids anyway, but I just felt bad that the focus was supposed to be on Mitchell's little friend and here comes my herd of a family. Apparently they got their own table, but I feel bad about that. I think that Mitchell should have sat at the table with his buddy, not with my family. Anyway, nothing I can do about it now -- I just feel bad about it. My sister in law called last night and said she'd like to send my friend's little boy a book or something with a thank you note for being so nice, which is a nice gesture. Ugh. Oh well...can't worry about it now. I just left my friend a message apologizing for the crashing of his party. I really hope she's not mad. I had no idea that would happen or in all honesty, I would never have had them take him. I just know Mitchell loves that place (it's the same place we had his party), he was excited to see his buddy and we already had the gift.

Anyway...today we're going to Sam's Club. I'm already cringing thinking about how much the total will be at the checkout stand. We have a hard time getting out of there for under 2 or 3oo on our normal trips, and we really want to stock up today. Plus, we've really run down our freezer and pantry supplies lately, so I think it would be more than usual anyway. Oh well...we've got it figured out, just those big numbers are hard to hear! It sure will be nice to bring baby home to a well stocked freezer and pantry though. At least for those first couple of weeks, or hopefully the first month or so.

Chris is excited because NASCAR starts again today. I'm happy for him, but my goodness, they just finished like 2 weeks ago, I swear!!! It's like the neverending sport season. This also means that we were in Daytona for the big race a year ago...strange. I was at my thinnest, having some beer, eating blue cheese, staying up late, etc. I think that's one of the things about having a baby...for the rest of the family, it really kicks in when baby comes home. For the woman carrying the baby...you pretty much start giving up things from day one. I want to try and breastfeed again for at least 6 months, so by the time it's all said and done, that's a good year and half or so of my body not being my own. I know it sounds selfish but I'm ready to have it back to myself.

Last night Georgia was a maniac when I was trying to go to bed. She was REALLY on the move, kicks and punches in my sides, in my ribs, out my hoo-haa (I swear!). Chris was downstairs doing some work, so I was all alone and silly as it sounds, I sat up after about 10 minutes and had a chat with my little girl. It was after 10 pm, I was wiped out and all those movements really HURT. I sat up and said "Look, Georgia. Either screw your head way down in there and break my water or settle down and go to sleep." 5 minutes later she decided to go to sleep. I actually only got up once to go to the bathroom last night and Mitchell slept till 7. I feel much better today...amazing what some rest can do for the body. I actually woke up because I heard her mobile playing music...he LOVES it. He was standing in there watching and listening to it. He said "Hi, Mommy. I like her mobile-wheel." :) He's such a cutie. It's just bizarre because the last time he was so in love with it, he was a little infant boy laying in his crib giggling every time the yellow guy went around. Sigh. How'd he get to be so big??

Okay, before I get mushy I'm gonna go. Let me just say that I wouldn't be opposed to a little help from the full moon tomorrow night. A Valentine baby would be fine by me at this point. I'm ready to have her here.

Heartburn bites the big one..

Just in case any of you weren't aware, heartburn sucks. Especially when you're a week and a half away from your due date, snuggled into a warm bed while it's snowing outside, and otherwise generally comfy (which doesn't happen very often). I actually had such bad heartburn last night that I nearly vomited...that's rare for me, so you know it was bad. It is now 5:20 a.m. and I've been up since 1:30. Lovely, eh? Should make for a SPECTACULAR day. Not.

Well, I had my 38 week appt yesterday...not very thrilling. I'm one centimeter dilated but still have a high, thick cervix. My bp was fine, her heartbeat was strong, nothing up with the urine... in other words, nothing doing. I have my next appt on Wednesday morning...it's with the one doctor I really didn't "click" with so much last time, so I hope I feel better about it this time. I also still haven't seen the doctor who actually delivered Mitchell, but with any luck she won't be the one on call when I deliver and it won't matter. Otherwise, I guess I'll just make my next appt with her just in case.

My new dilemma is figuring out if we should try to push for an induction on or RIGHT after our due date (the 20th). Since I went into labor on my due date with Mitchell, Chris' leave worked out great. This time, I'd really, REALLY like to have some time to bond as a family before he has to go back, so I'd really hate it if half of his two weeks off was spent just hanging out, waiting for her to be born. As of yesterday, the doctor told me that we have my next week appt at 39 weeks, then if I make it to my 40 week appt, we can schedule an induction for 5-7 days afterwards before I leave the office. I'm *hoping* it doesn't come to that, but thinking about asking for an induction instead of an appt at 40 weeks was my idea in the car on the way home. I wonder if they'd give me a hard time about that? I haven't had any issues along the way (health-wise), and she's measuring a few days ahead anyway. I guess we'll just see.

Next Monday is a full moon...I wonder if it might "pull" me into labor? I wouldn't mind a Valentine Baby...not at all. I wonder if she would enjoy it though? I know some people don't enjoy having their birthdays near holidays...I wonder if that would be one she'd hate to share. Personally, I wouldn't mind...never been real big into Valentine's Day as it is. It might suck as a kid though...the Valentine parties were always fun...decorating your little "mailbox", passing out valentines and candy. She would have to share her birthday treats as part of the party I bet. Oh well...it's not for me to decide at this point! If she comes out then and ends up hating it, I'll tell her it's her own fault...she is the one who chose her birthday!! :)

Just another Thursday...

Well, technically it's our anniversary, but in reality it's just another Thursday. Mitchell has school, I have a doctor appointment, Chris has to work, I have swim class tonight. Yep, just the regular Thursday routine. His parents are going to keep Mitchell for us tomorrow night while we go to dinner, but nothing major and very close to home. I swear, with all that has gone on, it feels like we've been married for 14 years, not 4.

I think there's a plus side and a down side to not having anything on the calendar these next couple of weeks. I think I thought I was doing myself and Mitchell a favor by staying here, resting, not planning anything so close to my due date, but now I think we might get bored. I think we'll still make daily trips somewhere...Walmart for a 99 cent treat, the library, etc. Sitting around and waiting...not sure I can do that for 2 more weeks. My dad offered to come out here 2 days next week to help me "chase Mitchell". I gladly accepted since getting on the floor and playing is not exactly a good time for me anymore. Mitchell has been pretty patient for the most part and a very good boy, but bath time sucks and so does picking up toys at night. (I used to do it before nap time too, but now we just do it at night because it's a big ol' chore for me and this belly.) Yesterday we went to pick up my thyroid meds at the pharmacy and I told him if he was really good, I'd let him pick out a treat before we left. He was good...for the first 13 minutes of our 15 minute visit to the store. Then he started jogging in front of me (I had to get some bagels/cream cheese for MOPS tomorrow and some sprinkles for his Valentine's party at school on Tuesday) while I was shopping and wouldn't stop. I just get REALLY paranoid about someone grabbing him because I know that stores are prime places for that type of thing and I'm not exactly agile.

Soooo...I had to grab him by the shoulder of his coat when I got close enough and pull him to the front of the store, plop the stuff I was carrying around in a basket by the door and wrestle him (screaming) into a cart. Picked up my stuff out of the basket, threw it into the cart and tried to make the quickest exit possible. Of course he was in full on tantrum mode at that point, but *patting myself on the back*, I kept my cool. I was PISSED but just calmly told him how his behavior was unacceptable, I was very sad he was acting that way, and no treat for him. He was of course crying and screaming...thought about biting me and got a look at my face and thought twice (smart move)...but calmed down about 2 minutes into it when he figured out he wasn't going to get out or get a reaction out of me.

Nice, huh? Of course, by the time we get to the checkout lane he's quiet, wiping his eyes, and trying to apologize. I thanked him for his apology and let him know that he did indeed blow it with regard to his treat. I knew the next battle would be for control of the music in the car, so I politely informed him that we'd be listening to mommy's music in the car because he made such bad choices in the store. That started a mini-wave of tears, but he recovered pretty quickly and apologized again (without solicitation from me, I might add). 3 years old is proving to be an interesting phase...more of a sense of entitlement on his part that I think, is driven by independence. That seems to lead to pretty intense, though much shorter tantrums, followed by remorse and apologies that I usually don't even have to coach him through. He's turning into a little man, I tell ya!!

The cycle is a bit exhausting for me at this point, but then again, so is putting on my socks.

Little Miracles

Kids are little miracles, aren't they? I guess the closer I get to meeting our little girl, the more in awe of our little boy I am. Chris and Mitchell were "playing wrestling" (obviously I've opted out of this activity for awhile now) and I was just blown away watching them. I'm feeling my belly and all these little baby feet and kicks and movements and watching someone who started out there and is now doing flying leaps onto his daddy's belly for fun. Crazy.

I think that's the biggest difference between my last pregnancy and this one. Last time I was running around (okay, maybe not RUNNING) like a chicken with my head cut off right up until like 4 days before going into labor. I was trying to get ready for a half year (ended up being year and a half, but same idea) maternity leave at a really bad time to do that in the schools. It was conference time, which for me meant 4 nights of parent-teacher conferences to prepare for and attend since I had 2 schools. PLUS, I was trying to train the woman who was taking my position and trying to get testing/reports done through like spring break. (Even though it was the end of November.) I remember my last day was supposed to be the Friday before Thanksgiving and I ended up coming in on Monday and Tuesday anyway to finish testing and write reports. All I would do is get up early, get ready, go to work, gut it out, come home, make and eat dinner and then fall asleep on the couch until Chris woke me up to go upstairs to bed. That was my life. That was it.

This time...um, a bit different. No full time job to go to...my job is here at home. Some days, if I don't want to get out of my jammies until noon (or ever), I don't have to. I haven't worn half of my maternity wardrobe...namely the dresses, jumpers, dress pants, skirts and dressy blouses. Save for a couple of dinners out, parties and things like that, I mostly wear jeans and sweats. Sad, but true. I mean, I'm coloring, painting, doing playdough, playing blocks, giving baths, going to the grocery store, etc. It's not like anyone but Mitchell sees me half the time anyway. The thing that goes along with being more comfortable and a slower pace (thank GOD for that -- literally-- by the way) is that I have had more time to contemplate this pregnancy. I feel like I have more time to think about everything associated with it...especially now at the end.

In addition to more time, I now also have experience on my side and under my belt which makes thinking about labor and delivery, bringing her home, and the whole newborn thing very different than when I thought about these with Mitchell. I feel like I know more, but at the same time, there's so much I don't know with this one...it's a GIRL. We know boys. :) Besides, now we have Mitchell to contend with and worry about in addition to Georgia. Being able to handle that aspect of things (and get out the door when I need to) is probably what has me the most nervous. I've heard people say that it's REALLY hard to go from 1 to 2 kids...much easier to go from 2 to 3, which doesn't make much sense to me until I think *duh*...it's this transition. It's probably similar to the difficulty in adjusting from being single to being married, I imagine...just OBVIOUSLY on a much bigger scale.

I'm looking forward to everything for sure. I've been a little nostalgic this week. I wanted to show Mitchell some of his birth video so he could see us at the hospital and what a teeny tiny baby he was. He loved it but couldn't figure out where Ryan was when he saw his Aunt Jen and Uncle Tim...Ryan is 4 months younger! :) He was intrigued and I was misty eyed. Could that really be HIM on the screen? Was he EVER that tiny? Hearing his little newborn cry brought back feelings and memories I didn't expect...very strange. I had the same nostalgic feelings when I was going through his baby clothes, too. I washed them up for my sister in law who is on bedrest and due 2 weeks after me (but will probably have her baby first, I bet) and was just in a pool of tears looking at and remembering all of those precious clothes. I remembered going places and doing things with him in those outfits. The outfit he wore home from the hospital, his first shoes, the outfit he wore to the hospital when Ryan was born, the little jean jacket he wore when we took him to meet my mom's friends at bowling, etc. It was all just flooding back.

I can't wait to meet her and see what she looks like and feel her cute little baby bootie all snuggled up in the palm of my hand and smell that wonderful baby smell. I can't wait for Mitchell to meet her and I already cry thinking about that moment. He's been SO excited about everything...picked out a special toy to take to the hospital for her...it's the turtle from Baby Neptune. He's named it "Turtle the Turtis" by the way. I just am excited to see another little person start this big adventure called life and can't belive how fast it all goes.

I hate potty training...

and so does Mitchell, I'm pretty sure. I think the thing is...we've tried to be really laid back about the whole thing...making everything available and offering to help, but not pushing it. Usually we'll ask and he'll say "No thanks" or "Not right now" or something along those lines. The thing that Chris and I have COMPLETELY had it with is that the kid won't even TELL us when he needs a new pullup if he's pooped. It is just disgusting and nasty and the MOST irritating thing in my daily life at the moment. I mean, he's 3 years old, we haven't AT ALL pushed him in the potty training, we're not even requiring him to sit up there, we just want him to tell us when he needs a new pullup. That's it. Not hard. No punishment. But boy howdy do I get angry when I go to change him (if I haven't smelled it) and it's obviously been there and stuck on and mixed with pee and the whole 9 yards. Nothing guaranteed to get my goat sooner than that these days. Chris is right there with me.

We've told him OVER AND OVER that all he has to do is tell us, we'll get a new pullup, change him and be done with it. Nope. Not happening.

Well, I had reached my wits end Saturday night when he did it. I just told Chris we've got to start making something happen...I can't do this anymore. I can't explain why it makes me so angry/irritated, it just is a major hot button. (I'm sure preggo hormones factor in there somewhere, but it could be the fact that we've been doing this for so long now.) Anyway, Chris and I decided that yesterday, whether he liked it or not, Mitchell would be spending a good chunk of his day on the potty.

So he gets up yesterday morning and I inform him that before we go downstairs for the juice, cheerios, vitamins and cartoons ritual, he will be sitting on the potty. I got some minor whining and complaining, but nothing major. Sat up there, nothing happened, but at least he cooperated. Well, I also told him that I'd be setting the timer and when it went off, no matter what we were doing, we'd stop and go upstairs to try pottying again. "Okay, mommy." (Yeah, right...I've learned to add that mental response.) 45 minutes later, all hell breaks loose when the timer goes off. He just completely loses his mind. You know those hysterical crying, drooling, swatting instead of hitting, completely out of control meltdowns? Well, that's where we were when I was getting him on the potty.

Now here's the dilemma I faced...do I let him learn the lesson that if you throw a big enough fit, you'll get your way? Or, do I let him learn the lesson that he's going to have to start taking some active role in this even if he's not all that excited about it, and if that means stop playing with toys for a potty break, then that's what he needs to do. I do have to pat myself on the back and say that I remained super calm (on the outside -- I was really upset inside) but held him on there and told him that we could let him down when he calmed down. Chris was awakened by the commotion...I wouldn't be surprised if we woke the neighbors-- so he quickly came to my aid. He held him on there and it was a good 15 minutes or so of just freaking out on Mitchell's end. We asked "Is it hurting you?" "No." "Are you scared?" "No." If either of those had been yes...he'd have gotten down, but he was just being a stubborn little pill who didn't want to stop playing. (That's been the problem all along.) Now keep in mind that we have SEVERAL incentives built into the whole operation and we were reminding him of them...some are natural, some are tangible. When he finally stopped his freak out session, we talked a lot about why we were doing what we were doing.

We came back downstairs with the understanding that the next time the timer went off, he would again need to sit on the potty. We were really, really playing up the "big boy" part of all of this, as that's a big deal these days. Well, I'm glad we stuck to our guns and gutted out the 15 minutes of chaos because the timer went off and what do you know? He literally RAN to the stairs and said "Come on, mommy...it's time for me to sit on the potty!!" By the time I waddled up the stairs, he had his pants off and was climbing on the toilet seat. I about peed my own pants. Nothing productive, but hey...it was a start. Same thing the next 2 times the timer went off. And last night, there were two times he got this funny look on his face and said "I need to go potty." We got up there and you could tell he had JUST peed in his pullup, so I think he was starting to hook the two things up. This morning, he came over to tell me something and stunk to high heaven. I said "Mitchell, is there anything you need to tell me?" He said "Yeah, mommy. I pooped and I need a new pullup." I think my jaw dropped to the floor. I said "Well, please go get one and come right back." "Okay, mommy." And he did!!! Afterwards, he said "I told you mommy, I told you!!" He was so proud, heck, I was so proud...it felt really good.

This little teeny bit of progress makes me wish we'd been more forceful earlier, but the meltdown thing was always in the way. I just couldn't get past it because I had all of these "voices" (experts, friends, etc.) telling me that holding him up there and making it a negative experience was the worst possible thing I could do. Well, I tried to combat that by not letting him down until he was okay and it wasn't so bad anymore. I'm so glad we did because it does seem to have made an impact.

In the meantime, I still hate potty training. I think I need some tangible reinforcers to stay with it more than he does!!

I've done this before, right?

You'd think I'd be more "sure" about what the heck is going on. I had an interesting night of playing "is it labor" vs. "is it not" last night. I've decided on it's not. My back hurt, but that came and went (same with Mitchell's labor) and I was really uncomfortable with some contractions and having to go to the bathroom way more often. I just was very, very uncomfortable. I also think I lost small parts of my plug two days last week, so who knows what that means!! I think the thing I just can't get over is how foreign it all feels. You'd think that everything would just come rushing back, but nope. I feel like I've never done this before and that I'm no more clued in this time than I was last time. It's all a waiting game and I know you just take it as it comes. I've said all along that I doubt I'll go before Valentine's Day, so we'll just have to see how this all plays out. For now, I'll just rest when I can and listen to my body. (Whatever that means.)

I guess I just expected to feel more like I knew what was going on, but I don't. I am hoping it's not like this when she's here -- I better know what the heck I'm doing there!!

Tired...

I'm just really tired. REALLY tired. I can't figure out what Mitchell's deal is with napping either. I took him to the ped today for his cold stuff and he said that he very well could be giving up his nap. :-( Not sure I know how to put into words my level of disappointment about that timing. I really, REALLY looked forward to the two hours of quiet time alone every day and was very much looking forward to having those with the baby or still to myself if God would allow them to actually sleep at the same time. Now I'm left with "quiet time" in his room, but he is a very busy boy and "quiet time" is a relative term here. Ugh. Anyway...not so thrilled about that development. The thing that's frustrating is that he'll TOTALLY fall asleep in the car, but not when we get home. I worked my BOOTIE off keeping him awake today on our way home from dr. appointments, but do you think he'd sleep in his bed? Nope. At least he played upstairs for awhile.

Guess I forgot to tell the Big Guy Upstairs about my master plan, huh?

I love my husband...sap alert!!

I know I've been writing a lot about that lately, but I really do. I know that everyone goes through ups and downs in every relationship, but I've been so happy with the way that we've both worked so hard to stick together lately. He's been crazed (and I mean CRAZED) at work, I've been crazed at home, lots of holiday/family events, and of course trying to prepare Mitchell, ourselves and our home for a new baby. I think that there are times where it would be really easy to draw into ourselves and not work together...just kind of the "you do this, I'll do that" type of thing, but we really have worked as a team and rely on each other all of the time. I love it. Last night we laid on the bed and just talked for about 45 minutes after we put Mitchell down. It was so great...just talking about all sorts of things, holding hands...it was just so comforting. I have heard so many stories lately about people who have such difficult and awful relationships, so I feel extra lucky to be supported so completely.

I just love my husband and hope he knows how much. It means the world to me to be married to my best friend.

"Are you getting excited?" and other stupid questions...

Okay, maybe stupid is the wrong word, but come on people!! How many women do you know that wouldn't be excited (for a variety of reasons, I'll add) to have their child when they are 37 weeks pregnant??? I can't think of any. I mean, seriously. I'm the size of a small barge, can't tie my shoes let alone hoist my 3 year old into his carseat without some major groaning, and I've got aches and pains pretty much everywhere all of the time...yes, those are motivating factors for "getting excited" about this ending.

I'll tell ya what though, none of those even touches the fact that I just can't wait to meet this little PERSON inside of me. She is in there growing and moving and pretty soon she'll be out here in this crazy world with us, and I can't wait to hold her and snuggle her and just know that she's ours. It's funny because we struggled SO MUCH with our decision over when to try for #2, if we even should try for #2, etc. Now that we're at the point we're at, all I can feel is this little "ache" for the person I know is almosot here. It's like I know our family won't be complete until she joins us and I can't wait to see who she is. Who she looks like. What kind of temperment she has. If she has the CUTEST little bubble-butt-two-dinner-roll bootie like her brother has. If she has hair. All of that stuff. I just can't wait. Chris has always teased me because I did the same thing with Mitchell...he says all he remembers hearing for the last few weeks was "I just want to meet this baby." I always joke that I'd love to just unzip myself, take her out, give her a little squeeze and zip her back in until it's her time.

My old roommate came over for dinner last night (she's single, never married, no kids) and she was just in complete AMAZEMENT at Georgia's movements. (At this point in the game, my entire belly literally jumps and rolls...looks like I might be having a little octopus.) We were talking about where things might be (as in knees, feet, etc.) so I got out my Prepared Childbirth workbook I was looking at the other day and we were checking out the pictures. It really is pretty crazy...I mean your bladder is squished under EVERYTHING, your stomach is like in your armpit, God only knows where everything goes. The times I sit down to think about what a miracle it really is, the more in awe I am of the whole process, particularly how very, very lucky we are.

Anyway...I've moved from being depressed to being amazed. A good move, I'd say. As for everyone else, I've already started getting the "When are you due again?" and "No baby yet?" phone calls. Sigh. Oh well...they're all well intentioned, right? And I'm not overdue yet so none of them has gotten me irritated, but I think I might not answer the phone after my due date. I wonder which day she'll choose for her birthday. :)

Feeling like me again...

Will be a short little entry because I have a lot to get done today. I am feeling like myself again and the blues have been (thankfully) lifted. I really just felt like I was neck-deep in a blue funk and it sucked. Thank goodness for my sweet, sweet husband. I don't know what I would do without him. I am so relieved to not wake up in a cruddy mood, ready to cry at the drop of a hat. That's nice. :) I plan to enjoy my day today...busy as it will be. Not a very informative or interesting post today but I'm happy to report good news.

Feeling blue...

I don't exactly know what's wrong with me, but I've been down in the dumps all week. Literally. Some really tragic news (someone I've grown to just adore gave birth to her little girl this week, and she was stillborn) hit me especially hard and just compounded the whole emotional side of life. I really, honestly don't know what the deal is. I have a WONDERFUL husband who has really tried very hard to be there for me and even brought me flowers one night. Bless him for that...if I don't understand what the heck is up with me, how in the world could he possibly do that? We were talking about things this morning and I just lost it. Again. Bawling my head off, can't get under control. Nice. I ended up calling my friend to tell her I won't make it to her little guy's birthday party...no way in the world could I have pulled that off. I of course start crying when I tell her I'm not coming...she asks if I'm in labor. Ha! That would mean I have a reason...no, just looney. Ugh. My friend is in town from California as well, so I missed a chance to see her which I hate as well. This better be a little hormonal dip that is followed by some sunshine soon.

In addition to my hormonal bluesy week, Mitchell has been a pill...not sleeping, pretty sassy, in general...being an expert 3 year old. Well, yesterday he had 6 poops and they were the kind that just BURN the skin. I mean it was on fire!! Poor guy. He just cannot figure out that telling us he's gone will be okay...especially when it hurts like that. He was screaming at the top of his lungs "OWIE, OWIE, STOP TOUCHING MOMMY, IT HURTS MOMMY" etc. while I'm trying to clean him off. It's one thing to tag team that with Chris but by myself at 37 (almost) weeks preggo is just NOT a good thing. I ended up soaking his little bottom in the tub for 10 minutes a couple of times and have gone through a ton of little washcloths with warm water because the wipes just kill him. It's much better today...I cut out the dairy, and all he's had are plain noodles, some toast, dry cereal and some applesauce. He hasn't gone yet today so hopefully it was a one day thing, but I have no idea what triggered it. Just praying we're on the upturn.

Some good news is that everything is plugging along with the pregnancy. Georgia is fine, I'm fine, nothing to report. She's measuring almost a week ahead, but does that really even mean anything? I don't think so, other than she's bigger than her brother was at this point.

Well, I'm exhausted. Chris and I had a pretty big tiff today and I don't think either of us feel good about it at all. There were plenty of tears on my end which I'm sure he was hoping he'd already seen the last of. How do you explain to someone that you have no idea why you're crying, that you have no idea why you're being unreasonable, that you have no idea why everything is putting you on edge and making you upset? Men need reasons and logic and there's NONE to be had in this body. I'm hoping that he just cuts me some slack...again. Ugh. See, crying again just thinking about it. Mitchell was still sleeping, so he went to church on his own. Hopefully just being away from me for awhile will do him some good. Who'd have thought with the long hours he works that he'd want MORE time away from home? Wow. Not the kind of motivation I was hoping to dish out, but there I am. I made an effort to get outside and get some fresh air and sunshine...hope it sunk in. (Still feels like a rain cloud to me, but I'm working on it.)

Oh well. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

Ugh...

Okay, so why am I so incapable of doing some thinking during normal waking hours? Why does it have to be 4 am? I turn over and BOOM...my mind is going a million miles a minute. Finally at 4:15 I gave up and just came downstairs. The good news is that my new Snap N Go stroller is infant seat ready, and the infant seat is ready for the car! We only had one base for our carseat because they discontinued it like RIGHT after Mitchell was born and we were never able to find another. My brother and sister in law are letting us borrow their infant seat since it has two bases. My parents have one, so we thought we'd let my in laws use our old one in their car.

I have really been trying SOOOO hard not to spend money frivolously with this pregnancy. There are so many darn cute clothes and accessories (especially for little girls), but I've been REALLY good. I have so far only bought one outfit, if you can believe that. (You should see Georgia's closet and changing table though...packed to the GILLS, with only 0-3 clothes!!) Anyway, I was really, really wanting this pink chenille car seat cover for the infant seat. It's just so soft and plush and adorable, but it's also like $65 and a total waste of money. I came SOOO close to ordering it (free shipping!!!), but decided against it. I had to return a couple of things at BRU yesterday, so bought a pink double headrest instead, and she can just be blinged out in pink with that. Hee hee.

I had a completely hormonal Tuesday. Overwhelmed by anything and everything and ended up bawling my head off by the middle of the day. Mitchell is really struggling with separation anxiety and it just kills me. On one hand, it's heart breaking because I absolutely hate hearing him cry and seeing his little face all wrinkled up like that. Plus he says "I need you!" now. Nice work, Mitchell. It just goes against your mothering heart to leave your screaming child like that. Ouch. On the other hand, it's quite irritating because I ALWAYS come back, he has a great time at school, with the inlaws, whatever. I know it's a phase but it's a sucky one and it just pushed my "cry, cry, cry" button on Tuesday.

We have got to start doing more with him at home in terms of coloring, cutting, painting, gluing, etc. He is really resistant and I'm tempted to use the word "hates" it most of the time, but Chris and I talked last night and we're going to go stock up on some good craft supplies this weekend and give it more of a push at home. We'll make it as fun as possible...I guarantee, trains will be involved! :) I don't want to force it, but at the same time, I don't want to neglect it and have him be 5 and not know how to hold a pencil the right way or cut on a straight line.

Okay...I'm starving. Off for some breakfast.

Everyone is so different...

I know, way to go Captain Obvious! But seriously, people are SOOOO different. I was just thinking about that on my way home from my prenatal water aerobics class tonight. We got into a discussion (can't remember how it even started) about women dressing provocatively, which led to women that you (as a woman) don't trust, which led to women and men who are married but cheat. One of the women said that previously, her husband had worked with a woman that was rumored to be boinking the boss. (The woman I know and her husband had since moved away, but he kept in touch with her.) Well, apparently she was sued by another person in the company because she got a promotion, while the suing person got passed over, even though it appeared it should be the other way around. She was feeding this "victim" story to this guy (the woman from class - her hubby) that she was just really misunderstood. So they get closer and sure enough, this woman checks her phone records and discovers that when she's going to the gym with the kids, he's calling the trampy lady. She didn't ever say anything about her discovery. At one point, she even wakes up at like midnight after they've both gone to bed, gets up to go to the restroom, discovers that he's not in bed, and goes to see why he's up. She hears him on the phone, so she listens to the conversation from his end and discovers that not only is he talking to this woman, he's having phone sex with her!!! SHE NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO HIM ABOUT IT. Okay...totally NOT what my reaction would be, but whatever. It gets worse, if you can believe that. So, I guess that this little trampy "victim" comes into town where they're now living for the weekend and he goes to spend time with her since he's her "friend" and comes home at like 3 in the morning. SHE STILL NEVER SAID ANYTHING. I guess that her friends still lived in the previous town and worked at the company and called to talk to her because they were concerned about her hubby's relationship with her and that they felt she was stringing him along. That's all she talked to him about...what her friends said. Nothing about what she herself knew. Unbelievable.

I don't know..maybe it's because of the experiences I've had before, maybe it's because I'm just a different person with a completely different personality, but there is NO WAY on God's green earth that I'd even let the calls while I'm out EVERY night go without a little chat. Beyond that, catching him having phone sex with her in the middle of the night??? Ummmm...no. Don't think so. And to top that whole thing off by allowing him to spend time with her while she's in town WITHOUT ME there??? I'm sorry...but him coming home at 3 in the morning is what I would expect as an outcome, personally. If they have phone sex, why else do you think she came to town but for some live, in-person sex???!!! Goodness. Oh, and for the record...this trashy victim lady ended up leaving her own husband (oh yeah, she was married as well) and running away with the boss after all.

I just was thinking about all of that on my drive home and how completely different people are. Not just how this woman failed to stick up for herself and her kids and hold her idiot husband accountable for his own behavior, but also how completely selfish and disgusting some people's lives are. I just will never understand treating other people that way. Having been on the receiving end of being cheated on while married (obviously NOT Chris), I think it's one of the most disrespectful, disgusting and loathsome things you can do.

The good news about all of this is that it confirmed to me what a great husband and overall solid marriage I have. I think that the trust and love and communication that Chris and I have is something I easily take for granted. Even though I've been through enough crap before that I really should never do that, I do. Well, tonight I got a little shot in the arm of feeling REALLY good about my own self-respect, the level of mutual respect in my marriage, and how incredibly lucky I am to be married to Chris. He's definitely the best friend I've ever had and I can honestly say that I am more in love with him every day. He's a wonderful husband and a completely fantastic father.

By the way...our 4th anniversary is in 2 weeks. Feels like it should be our 14th!! :) I love my husband. Let's end on that happy note.

Just another day...

Okay, so it's Sunday and I woke up at 5 a.m. today. I was dreaming about spiders (yuck!), so thankfully that was cut short by Mitchell's request to be covered up again and have his music start over. By the time I used the restroom and got back to bed, Chris was sawing logs (quite loudly) and Georgia had the hiccups. No more sleep for me.

Today I have a shower at my friend, Nicole's house. I'm excited because it's just a small little get together, not a big deal. I wasn't even planning on having one, but she and Jenn insisted, so here we are. It's just going to be me, my mom, my mother in law, my two grandmas, Jenn, Nicole and both of their moms. I had her include on the invitation that no one needs to bring anything...it's enough just to be together, eat some treats and be happy that Georgia will be with us soon. I told her if people brought anything, it would be great to have some food for the freezer and that's about it. The only trouble with this shower is that it starts at 12 and the Broncos play at 1:06. (Why do they start at odd times like that??) For most moms to be, no biggie. Unfortunately, I'm a HUGE Bronco fan, so I will be racing home to see the game. Chris just can't even BELIEVE we're having it then, but since the planning window was small (it didn't get rolling until like 2 weeks ago) and my parents are going out of town next weekend, this was really it. My mom has stuff at her church she's responsible for every Sunday morning, so that left Sunday afternoon. Oh well...I'm sure we'll turn it on at the shower, knowing all of us! :) (Well, except Nicole -- she is not so much a football fan, I don't think.)

May I take this opportunity to completely change the subject and say that I'm REALLY growing tired of Thomas the Tank. He's on my last nerve. It could be because he's EVERYWHERE in this house and in the car, etc. Ugh. I'm reaching my Thomas threshold...good thing I'll have the baby to distract me soon because otherwise it could get ugly for ol' Thomas!! (Just kidding, but he really is beginning to annoy me.) I'm sure when he moves on to his next obsession I'll be looking back "Oh, remember when he loved Thomas? That was so cute!" It seems to go that way, doesn't it?

Off to wrap my hostess gifts and make some chili for the boys while they watch the game!

Hormones...

Okay, so I haven't blogged in over 3 months...what else would I begin with but hormones??

I woke up this morning and just felt a bit "off". I was nauseated, a bit grumpy, REALLY tired and just not myself. I was supposed to go to my mom's house and drop Mitchell off so that I could use a gift certificate at the spa for a manicure and lip/eyebrow wax. About half an hour before I was supposed to leave, I decided to cancel since I'd hate to spend precious spa time feeling like crap. Of course, this has led to multiple phone calls from my family wanting to make sure that I'm fine. I completely started bawling on the phone with Chris when I called him to tell him how I felt...and have no idea why. Well, yes I do...hormones. I was (half) joking with Chris the other day that I can barely handle my own hormones...what in the world am I supposed to do with MORE girl hormones???

That said, I'm trying so hard to just enjoy these last couple of weeks of being pregnant. I'm sick of the maternity clothes and the underwear that Mitchell could use as a nightshirt, but other than that I'm (not today obviously) feeling pretty good. I was just laughing with the person who is doing my private practice billing for me on the phone yesterday about how boring my appointments are and that sometimes it's almost not worth the drive. She said she'd love to have that problem...her daughter was born at 24 weeks and she's 21 weeks along now and already having issues again. Talk about wanting to take your words and stuff them right back into your mouth!! Nothing like someone else's reality to make your own seem like a dream.

I think that the more I think about pregnancy and childbirth, the more and more miraculous it seems. I've recently dug out our "prepared childbirth" handbook so we could practice relaxation and breathing techniques since he wasn't up for the 3 hour refresher course. Looking at the pictures, reading the information...no offense to those whose opinions differ, but I for the life of me CANNOT understand how someone can not believe in God. Truly. There is a little PERSON inside of me right now, growing and developing. When she comes out she will have one of our noses, one of our eye color, etc. Her personality will (uh-oh) resemble that of some of each of us...yet she won't be a clone. She'll be her own little person and we are trusted with the privilege of raising her in this crazy world. It's just insane.

I've heard from other friends who have had more than one child about what a giant Mitchell will look like when we bring her home. I had my first taste of that when I put the little pack of her diapers away in the changing table. I had to go get one of his pullups to put next to it and I was just in awe that his bootie started that small. (Smaller actually...I remember using premie diapers on him for awhile.) Yet, he still does seem so small to me...he's our little man. I don't know how in the world he got to be three years old or such a great little person, I just know I feel lucky to know him, let alone be his Mommy and current best friend. He's such a sweet boy and I hate to think that will ever change. He is just such a caring little guy and seems to have such a heart for other people and animals...every time he sees a baby or an animal on tv, he instantly goes into high pitched voice mode and says "Oh, look at the little baby/puppy/etc." Today he knew I wasn't feeling good, and he was playing with his toys and listening to his Sesame Street cd while I laid on the couch. He came over and gave me this gigantic hug and said "I'm so sorry you're sick, Mommy." **Melt** Who can explain that sort of heart grabbing feeling? No one told him to say that...he just did. Then, he laid on the couch with me, giving "his" Baby Georgia a big hug and singing the songs to her for about 10 minutes. Doesn't sound like a long time, but that's pretty much an eternity to a 3 year old. He'd sing, then kiss her, then do tickly fingers and say "tickle tickle", then give her a little rub with his fingers. Way too cute and makes me so glad we decided to have another. He already loves being a brother and she's not even out yet.

Speaking of Mitchell..he just woke up from his nap so that's the end of my first blogging session in awhile. Thanks for the nudge, Kim. :)