Friday, March 19, 2010

Comfortable In My Own Shoes...

During that day I recently told you about, there were several times that I thought to myself how nice it would be to be in someone else's shoes.

As I struggled to keep The Masonator from dismantling each and every tire display, I looked with envy at the woman who was sitting quietly by herself, getting things checked off of her to-do list as she waited. I thought about how nice it would be to swap places with my friend who is currently on vacation, visiting Las Vegas and Los Angeles. As I chased you-know-who around the waiting room, I looked longingly at the variety of moms who were able to sit and watch their child do gymnastics or read a book of their own during the class.

That night as I was going to bed, I started to think about just how lucky I am to be just who I am.

Maybe the woman in the tire store wasn't working on a "to do" list at all...maybe she was trying to figure out which bills she could pay and which ones she couldn't. I know that my friend who is on vacation right now is having some pretty significant stress in her life these days, and truth be told, she NEEDS that vacation more than I do. What if some of those gymnastics moms who were reading were secretly watching me with Mason, thinking of another baby they'd always wanted but were unable to have or the baby that they'd desperately wanted and lost?

I know from my own crazy experiences in life that you just do not ever truly know someone's story. People are usually beyond shocked when I share some of the things from my own past because truthfully, you'd just never guess that I have been through some of what I have if you didn't know me at the time. I have had similar conversations with other people I've met and have been left in such a state of surprise -- thinking to myself that just moments earlier, I'd had *no idea* that whatever had just been shared was a part of that person's life story.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am trying to keep a head full of perspective and remain thankful simply to be be content walking in my own shoes, no matter how deep the mucky mud (too much Dora!) is along the way some days.

I recently got some new slippers and they are SO comfy. They're soft, they're warm, they're cozy, and now - after several months of wear, they are uniquely mine. My feet have molded them to fit ME, and I know that they wouldn't be as comfortable to someone else because their foot wouldn't fit just right into the groove that has been carved out by mine. I feel like life is also like that. No matter what is put in my path, my life and my experiences are uniquely my own. God has a specific plan for me, and I need to make myself available to receive the blessings and mercy that He has for me each day. I also need to remember that He is by my side on the days that are so easy to forget all of this!

I am blessed beyond measure, even on my worst days...I just need to remind myself of that more often!

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Mini-Me Update

Since it's been awhile since I talked about this whole "thing" I figured an update was in order. From July 2008 to July 2009, I lost 65 pounds. I have managed to keep 55-60 off consistently. I still have about 30-35 to go.

And to those of you who know me in "real life" and say "No, you don't!" -- YES, I DO. I will save you the trauma of seeing it for yourselves, just trust me. It's definitely there to lose. In several places that clothes thankfully hide for me. 'Nuff said there, I hope.

Anyway. I'm sort of in a rut and am hoping to bust through here soon. I think what happened is that I was part of a very supportive group, and the main focuses of the group definitely "clicked" with me. I stumbled upon it at just the right time and definitely put forth the consistent hard work and effort in all areas that I need to in order to be successful.

Since then, I have definitely been in maintenance mode. Lots of big life changes have happened and I've sort of weathered them by doing half-way things in the way of health and fitness.

I can say that the absolute KEY to my weight loss and health improvements were 150% God sponsored. By that, I mean that being in The Word, prayer time, encouragement with my friends, scripture memorization and truly putting Him first was what worked. Well, currently, NONE of that is happening consistently. And it hasn't for some time now.

I just came to this realization the other day and it was like DUH. What did I *think* would happen? If you don't have the KEY, you can't unlock the door.

So, here I am. Knowing where I am, who I am and where I need to go and who I need to be. Nothing has to change -- I just need to remember that I am first and foremost a child of God and live my life according to the purpose and focus I know that I have within me through His grace.

It will take some gut-busting willpower, prayer, and determination. I'm trying to regather my mojo and just get back into the groove. As usual, there are many things in my way every day to prevent this. I'm just trying to remember what is TRULY important each day. When I was in such a good place, not only was I losing weight, working out and getting healthy -- I also had more patience, energy and motivation to get the rest of my life healthy, too. I also weathered the storms that come our way in a much better way, too.

So, there ya go. There's your update. I think I'll go back to Mini-Me Monday updates to keep myself accountable. Ask me if I don't...I need some support and keeping me accountable is a great way to help. Thanks, bloggy friends!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

One of those days...

Don't I start almost every post by saying I'm going to blog more? Yeah, I thought so.

I thought for sure I really would be blogging more right now, especially since I'm on a self-imposed Facebook break during Lent. The thing is, I've been so stinkin' busy lately, I haven't been much of anywhere. (Unless crazy is a place, in which case I have been living there.)

I thought I'd jump back in with a classic Never a Dull Moment kind of day. Nothing like a day full of chaos to get ya back in the bloggy mood, eh?

Currently, I am sitting at my kitchen table in half darkness. I am having a glass of wine. One kid is in bed, the other two are watching Wonder Pets. My husband is on his way home, and upon entry will find the following:

*five (yes, five) loads of clean laundry heaped on the couch waiting to be folded
*a sink full of dishes in soapy water
*a dishwasher waiting to be emptied
*gross kitchen/eating nook/family room floors
*the kitchen counter full of all of my work stuff

This is all before the poor guy goes upstairs. Yikes.

It has been, of those days. No other way to put it. It was one of those days by 7:30 a.m. I know that if anyone still reads this thing, the majority of you (which probably means two out of three people - ha!) will be able to relate and I don't need to expand on that.

**Disclaimer: if you are lucky enough to be that one person who is thinking "What is this woman TALKING about?"... please count your blessings and move along. Take your clear mind and do *not* clutter it up with the mundane chaos that has somehow become my every day. You are more than welcome to read this blog, I'm just sayin' I will not be held responsible for the mucky brain syndrome that may come through osmosis.**

(Oh, and FYI - I still love my life, some days there is just a bit much of it for me.)

So...about today.

School dropoff. Got my first grader in the door just before the tardy bell rang. Accomplishing this meant asking my kids if they liked it when I yelled. (Yes, I really asked them that question and no, I wasn't kidding.) You see, this was the kind of morning where I started out as Patientloving Mom, asking the same things of the same kids - nicely, I might add - three times. Mount St. Crazymom erupted on request #4 -- and whaddya know? Instant performance by my little cherubs. Feels horrible to me and I know they can't stand it -- but there we were. All in a scruffy little whirpool of tension and yelling. No fun. (By the way, I do realize what a truly ridiculous question that was on my part. I absolutely know that they don't like it when I yell, but this morning -- I really was beginning to wonder. Again, I'm thinking 2 out of 3 of you feel me on this one.)

So, anyway - we got to gymnastics class. Late. By about 5 minutes, but miraculously, they were starting 5 minutes late so not a biggie today. UNTILLLLLL the door from the cubby room to the gym closed and Mason realized he was once again denied access to all of the fun stuff that taunts him from the other side of the big windows. It is pure torture for him to have to watch the kids run, jump, tumble, swing, hop, bounce, flip, climb and (just paused to yell again, fyi - the hits just keep on comin') skip. He wants SO badly to be in the middle of all of that fun, and yet he is stuck on the other side of the windows with all of the parents. Poor guy. Today, I took a bag full of toys and decided that I would not sit in the room with the big windows. Instead, I'd sit in the smaller, boring room of cubbies so that Mason could run and play. It meant not watching Georgia do her thing, but I thought it would be easier with Mr. FussyPants.

Wellllll, after first glaring at me as she stepped over Tantrum City on her way to the cubbies, another gymnastics mom then decided to camp out at the door of the cubby room with herself and her younger daughter. Did I mention that said camping was done with the door to the gym cracked open?? *sigh* REALLY?! Ugh. Sooooo...I pick up Tantrum City and come back for all of his toys and we move to the window room after all. So much for plans on that one! We survived the torturous hour of waiting and headed home.

As I was driving, I noticed the car pulling a bit to the right, but didn't think much of it since we just had our brakes replaced and they said that the shocks/struts are next and they might impact the alignment until then. (Good times.) After a few hours, some lunch, a whole bunch of laundry, etc. - it's time to go get Mitchell from school.

OF COURSE, both of the little ones are still asleep. (Yes, I sighed here, too.) Sooooo...I wake them both up, complete with two sets of sad little faces and matching tears. I was hoping that the sunshine (what?!), walk in the stroller and some playtime at the playground would cheer them up. Luckily, it did. When we got home, as I was breaking up fight #8943043 (this one about who would get the mail out of the mailbox), I noticed that the van looked like it was at like a 45 degree angle, sloping to the right in our garage. (Can you picture me standing on the sidewalk, tilting my head to the right to see if I'm nuts? It happened.)

I go look (after another giant sigh, of course) and sure enough, my right front tire is as FLAT as a pancake. Like, I've never seen a flatter tire in all of my life. (Granted, I don't have super extensive experience in this department, but still.)

Wellllll...isn't this a nice little insertion into the day?

It was 3:30 pm. Georgia had soccer practice at 5. The tire store closed at 6. I had to be at work, 45 minutes away from my house (and after dropping all 3 kids off at different places) at 8:30 am in the morning. NOT. A. GOOD. TIME. FOR. A. FLAT. TIRE!! On the plus side, it was in the garage and I wasn't on the side of the road somewhere. Also on the plus side, sunshine and no snow.

In the end, I called my dad. He got stuck in traffic, so the plan of him helping me take the tire off, loading everyone in his car, dropping me and the tire at the tire store and him taking the kids to G's soccer practice went by the wayside. (The tire store and soccer field for practice were about 1/2 mile apart.) What ended up happening was that the jack in my car was beyond irritating. After about an hour, my dad FINALLY got it to open up (it was stuck) but by then AAA was on the way. (He has a membership, I do not.) In that time, I'd strapped Mason into his carseat in the van, Georgia had the hazard lights going and Mitchell was playing "hockey" using a baseball bat and soccer ball in the front yard. Oh, and the lady coordinating Mason's upcoming speech evaluation called in the middle of all of this.

Might I add, I did make tacos and we all ate. So, ya know - my cape didn't COMPLETELY fall off.

As I finish this, it is now the next morning. I'm sitting by myself in Starbucks, sipping a latte and listening to some pretty relaxing music. I'm also the ONLY woman in here. What is that about?? Don't these men WORK?!

I ended up having to miss my first two appointments of the morning because the tire was beyond repair. I ended up getting four new tires, much to my husband's dismay. I also learned that they do not design tire store sales floors with 20 month old boys in mind. (Just in case you were wondering about that.)

Upon reflection of my day, I'm thankful for the following:
*a van to have flat tires on
*three kids to make me triply nutty
*a husband who loves me despite, well...everything you just read
*a daddy who still takes care of me, even though I am a *huge* pain
*sunny days
*the ability to pay for new tires
*food to eat
*clothes to wash
*a house to clean
*wine to drink (for real!)

Count your blessings, especially when they seem like anything but. Someone would LOVE to have your cruddy day because it would probably be the best one they'd had in a while.

I'll be back more often. I promise. :)