Tuesday, September 25, 2007


You ever feel like you are actually beyond tapped out? Not just, the well is dry, but the well has been dry for quite a while now?

I'm there.

So many things are happening around me right now that I just can't seem to stop thinking. I can't seem to feel settled.

I don't have peace.

I learned a lot of things this weekend at Women of Faith -- and Renee, I so missed you being there. It's funny -- a lot of them are things I already knew, I just need to remember them. Other things (most of them from Beth Moore) are things that I just hadn't truly thought about.

I think that inside of that little "bubble world" I lived in this weekend, things felt amazing. I cried more than I thought I would (and I knew I would cry a lot), I laughed a ton, and I haven't stopped thinking yet. It was one of the most emotional weekends of my life. In many ways, it was a flood of good emotions, but no matter what the emotions are, they are almost always draining.

It was like I left the safe haven of my little group of friends and family that had shared the same amazing time with - and my little bubble world popped when the reality needle pierced it. Not just one thing went spinning out of control, quite a few things were off and running and waiting for me to chase them down.

I need to just cocoon myself again with the thoughts that I had this weekend...I need to spend some time with myself, and in The Word.

I need to just let it go because I think that the holding on part is what is wearing me out more than anything else. No, I know that it is.

Why? Why is it so hard to just let go?

**So, right after I posted this, I decided it was a perfect time to do my Bible study. I'm so glad that I did. Go read Romans 8. The whole thing. If you're feeling anything like I described above, go read it. Even if you're not, go read it.** (By the way, I don't usually do KJV, but I wanted to link it up quickly.)


Jamie said...

Sending love, Tara. Lots and lots of it.

Heather C said...

((((((Tara))))))) Whenever we leave a retreat weekend, we head straight to our knees in prayer. See, Satan knows what an awesome weekend you had. He knows how much you learned, how much you worshipped, how much you loved, how much you GREW. He'll try anything to steal that away from you.. to put a damper on your spirit and beat you down. Whether he's just mad about the blessings or trying to keep you from being ineffective for the Lord, it doesn't matter. He's just out to get you down. I'm so glad the Lord brought you to Romans 8 and you were able to recapture some of the joy... I'll be praying for you. :)

Alana said...

Um, yes...what Heather said ;-)

I understand what you are feeling. Definitely feeling very similar right now.

Tapped out.

I will pray for you!

BethAnne said...

Sometimes hearing the Word cuts right to our core. That means you are open to what God wants to say to you and do through you. It also means that our flaws and sins are laid bare and we see them clearly. I know what you are talking about.
We beat ourselves up for not doing this or for having done that, but we need to remember God's grace. He reminds us of the terrible places we have been so that we remember not to go there again. He reminds us of the burn so we dont put our hand to the fire again. He does not want you to feel restless and worn --- He wants you to have peace and rest.

I have so been where you are (like yesterday :-) - I wish I could put the feeling into words, but there are no words to describe when God is doing a work in you. I am praying for you this morning!

Darlene R. said...

Hi Tara,
I wanted to make sure that it was okay that I linked to your blog from mine. I enjoy stopping by!

Earen said...

I'm so glad you had a wonderful time Tara! I know how refreshing they can be & yet you come away emotionally exhausted. The Lord IS your strength & yes...yesterday was a day for me in which I was just DONE! So, I'm going to read Romans & get a little boost! Thank you for the encouragement!! Love to you friend!

Renee said...

(((Tara))) Love you so much, friend!!

I'm so happy that you had such a good time at WOF. I'll be praying that the messages that were impressed upon your heart while you were there stay with you, and continue to bless you.

I agree with Heather. It seems whenever we take a big step forward in our spiritual walk, we are met with resistance. If we are growing in our faith, the enemy doesn't like it, and tries to wear us down.

I try to look at it as a good sign. If I weren't going anywhere, he wouldnt' be concerned with me, right?

Anyway...I love ya, and will be praying for rejuvenation for you. For joy, and peace. You need peace!
Thanks for the leading to Romans 8. Very encouraging.

I'm Tara. said...

Thank you, girls. Seriously. Hugs (and reinforcement that I'm not insane) help a lot.

Heather -- you have NO IDEA how right you are. He brought in the big guns last night (as Renee put it just a few minutes ago) and sent something into my life that could cause me to far waaaayyyyyy back. Whew. I think it might just be a post of its own here soon, but goodness. I must be doing some SERIOUSLY good stuff for him to send this little gem.

Thanks again, ladies. Oh - and I am going to switch it to NLT, since that's my thing. :)

Anonymous said...

YES! I was just thinking today, "I need a sabbatical." Can mommies have those, too? I have so many thoughts, but I can't THINK! It's a Mommy thing.

Maybe if I were more together... if I got up earlier... if I were more disciplined, went to bed earlier... who knows? I'm trying to find out!