Correction...

So, my husband was curious about my latest bloggings (is that a word?) so together we were reading through some of my recent posts. He got a kick out of the "getting personal" post but made me aware of something.

The "Most Admired Trait" section is a bit -- well -- incorrect.

See, I'm a bit ding-dongish sometimes. Here's how our conversation about that section went:

Chris: "Integrity? Hmmm, really? I would have thought it was your loyalty or sense of humor."

*long, akward pause*

Me: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So, what trait of mine do others admire most?"

Chris: "Yep. Think so."

Me: "Yeah. I so totally didn't get that."


So, to recap, while I like to think that I have a somewhat decent level of integrity, clearly my ginormous brain isn't the answer.

My real answer is probably my sense of humor. I'm goofy and people seem to enjoy that. I do tend to go overboard sometimes, though with age, that's gotten better. (I'm sure my 4th grade teacher is relieved as I distinctly remember her being less than amused by my sense of humor.)

Okay, I feel better now.

I Can See The Writing On The Wall...

I've been thinking a lot about how the things I say and do to and with my children today will impact their lives in the future. It's so much to consider and every single day presents many challenges and things that are potentially guilt-inducing.

I know that's probably not the best thing to carry around because I know that sense of failure and guilt is something that I can easily pass on to my children. So, in an effort to turn my worries into prayers and positive thoughts, I've gone back to a book I read a lot while I was nursing my babies...it's called "Praying the Scriptures For Your Children" by Jodie Berndt. I really adore this book and it's been a literal lifesaver to me recently. Two days ago, for whatever reason, Mitchell woke up in a grumpy mood and was unable to shake that mindset for the rest of the day...just one of those tough days.

It made for a very long day in this house...one full of arguing, sassy talk, and tears. Finally, at about 3:00, I turned on a video for the kids, plopped myself onto the couch and got out my book. It was just what I needed, and the rest of the day was much easier for me, even though nothing really changed as far as how Mitchell was acting. For instance, here are the two that I probably spent 20 minutes praying, over and over.

"Let us learn to see discipline as a gift. Let Mitchell recognize that when we discipline him, it means that we love him and that he belongs to our family -- just as you discipline those you love, those you accept as your sons and daughters. Let Mitchell respect us when we discipline him, realizing that we are doing our best and that we ourselves are submitting to your discipline, which is for our good." (Hebrews 12: 5-10)

and

"Teach Mitchell to obey us in everything, for this pleases you, Lord. Do not let us do or say anything that would embitter or discourage him." (Colossians 3: 20-21)

It just met me where I was, and took my mind to where it needed to be. I really can't recommend this book any more highly, especially if you find that praying for your children is an overwhelming task. Sometimes, the scope of what I want for them is so big that I don't know where to start...this book has really given me the gift of having specific prayers to start with and then continue on my own from there. I have had much more clarity and focus in my prayers for my children than I did before.

The other thing this book does is prompt me more and more to pray for things that are in my children's distant future. Things like their purposes in life, their future marriages, etc. As much as I enjoy saying those types of prayers, it also opens my eyes up to the fact that my time with them is just going so quickly. As much as I look forward to the many wonderful memories we'll make in the future, it's difficult for me not to grieve the loss of many of the things that we're leaving behind. It's not that I don't want my children to grow up, not at all.

It's that the "lasts" in my life as a Mommy are somewhat painful. They're memories now, and I fear that they will fade with time.

As I was driving into our neighborhood for my lunch hour (I'm working today), a song that I'd never heard before came on the radio. Before it was over, I was in tears because it really touched my heart. It just seemed to capture so much of what I've been feeling lately, so I thought I'd share the lyrics.

Artist: Mark Harris
Title: Writing On The Wall
Album: Windows & Walls


I came home from work
She was waiting at the door
Had that bad day look in her eye
Then I heard the sound of little feet across the hardwood floor
And I knelt down with my arms open wide
When I asked her what had happened
She pointed to our son
And said why don't you show your daddy
What you've done

Chorus:
And I could see the writing on the wall
The evidence of little hands
Picasso with a purple crayon
I tried to act upset but I was smiling through it all
I could see the writing on the wall



It was the first day of school
Standing by the laundry door
Wondering how third grade came so fast
Took a ruler and a sharpie pen and drew the line once more
So amazed at how time had passed
With a backpack full of promise
And wonder in his eyes
I turned my head just so he wouldn't
See me cry

Chorus 2:
Cause I could see the writing on the wall
It seems no matter how I tried
To stop the roller coaster ride
The pages just kept turning
Even though deep in my heart I knew we had it all
I could see the writing on the wall

Somewhere in the mystery
Of all that lies ahead
I hope and pray that you will see
I tried to do my best

Getting Personal...

Sarah posted this on her blog today, encouraging her readers to do the same. Oh, happy day! I love stuff like this, I wasn't sure if I had any bloggy ideas today, and I'm also TOTALLY procrastinating right now (we have a showing this afternoon and I need to clean), so it was a huge score for me in all three areas! It would be fun to read even more of these -- so to anyone who is game -- Tag, you're it!



Accent - I think I'm from that part of the country that people say doesn't have an accent. I will say that out here, people tend to say "warsh" instead of "wash" and it bothers me, so I have not adopted that little gem. (I also tend to tease my parents about it.) My mom told me that when I was as young as about three years old, I would start speaking differently after spending a short amount of time with people who had an accent. I started on my professional pathway early on! Hee hee.

I Don't Drink - Sweetened tea. Okay, all of you Southern ladies -- pick yourselves up off of the ground now. I like my iced tea with real lemon but no sweetener of any kind. At all.

Chore I Hate - I really can't stand dusting. It just irritates me to think about doing it. In fact, I would much rather be doing a random bloggy survey than dusting my house. I love the way the house looks after I do it, but yuck.

Pets - None, currently. My husband and I are both big dog lovers, so I can't see us never having one. Or two. We just don't have them yet.

Essential Electronics - Maybe I'll do my top three...that would be...hmmmm... (1) Computer, (2) Radio, and (3) Telephone. Not that I like to communicate or be connected with the world, or anything. My husband would probably be just fine with a rock, chisel, and a pigeon. Me? Not so much.

Perfume - Oh, yay! I get to talk about my beloved "Heart" again! It's made by Garden Botanika and I've worn it forever. If I was Oprah, it would be on my "favorite things" show. I love, love, love it!

Gold or Silver - Depends on what I'm wearing, but I prefer silver. Incidentally, the chain and cross I'm wearing today are made of both silver and gold. What are the odds?

Insomnia - Ohhhhhhh, insomnia. We're well acquainted. I've always been a horrible sleeper and still have trouble sleeping at least one or two times a month. I pretty much never slept in grad school -- stress does that to me, and well, it was sorta stressful.

Job Title - 90% of the time I'm a wife and Mommy. 10% of the time I'm a speech-language pathologist. Right now I am doing some private practice and have four children that I see weekly in their homes. I love it, but I really miss working in the schools. I miss my team, I miss the kids, I miss working in classrooms and with the teachers, but I sure don't miss all that paperwork!

Most Admired Trait - I think I'm going to say integrity. Each and every day it seems like there is less and less of it to discover in this world, so I appreciate it more and more.

Kids - We are parents to two little blessings! Mitchell is 4 1/2 and Georgia is 18 months. Good thing you didn't ask if we were having more!

Religion - Hmmmm, that's pretty open-ended. I grew up attending a Lutheran church. I sort of did my own thing (which was pretty much nothing) in college. Now, I am married to a catholic man and attend a non-denominational church, so I guess my answer would be...I'm religiously eclectic? I will say that my faith and passion for the Lord is stronger now than it ever has been, and so many parts of my life continue to change for the better as my faith grows.

Siblings - I have one brother (Tim) who is a year and a half older than I am.

Time I Wake Up - Most of the time, no later than 7, maaaayyyybbbbeeeee 7:30. I am starting my get up early to work out/have quiet time though, so it's going to be 5:30 several times a week now.

Vegetable I Hate - I really like pretty much any vegetable, really. Oh, I know. For some reason, pearl onions really gross me out. A lot. I won't eat those, but I don't hate them...they didn't do anything to me!

Worst Habit - No one is likely enjoying this little survey more than my mom, if she's reading it. I bet she is getting a good giggle out of some of these! I would have to say it's a toss up between picking my cuticles (I hate that I do it, but I do it all of the time, and half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it!) or procrastinating. I'm pretty good at both of them, and they're both pretty sucky habits to have. You decide which is worse.

My Favorite Meal - Probably a big, huge dinner from my favorite local mexican restaurant, El Parral. I love to get a chile relleno (soft, not crispy), a guacamole tostada, and a cheese enchilada (no onions). Yuuuuummmmmm!!!

That's it? Really? Dang. Guess I better get back to cleaning!! I'll look forward to reading some more of these! Thanks, Sarah!

Pictures from our lazy Sunday...

We are a Bronco-lovin' family (well, Eagles, too -- but that's sort of a long story) and it's that time of year. Here are the two littlest fans in the house on the first Bronco Sunday of the year!


Playing Peek-A-Boo on the couch...


I should have taken a video of how hard they were laughing at each other...


Uh, YEAH...that used to be a pair of pigtails before naptime. Does the look on her face tell you anything about this girl? (That would be a definite yes, by the way.) Whoooo, Nelly.


At the batting cages with Daddy...he wanted to get in there SO badly!!


Just a fun video from the park...this is what Georgia did literally the entire time we were there.



Okay, and when I typed "lazy Sunday" into the title of this post, I was reminded of one of my very favorite SNL skits. I have it bookmarked and had to go watch it, so now I'm feeling the need to provide you with a link to the video that makes my husband and I crack up every time we watch it. There is one bleep, but it's very tame and so funny. Double true!!

A very special family...

My friend, Tricia and her family are going through a very difficult, very confusing, very uncertain time right now. Tricia and Brian have three beautiful children (Karissa, Abby & Zachary) and are pregnant with a baby girl, Cadenne Hope. I have had the opportunity to get to know Tricia over the past two years and she is a wonderful woman and friend. I am so honored to count her among my friends, even though we haven't ever met in person. She designed my daughter's birthday invitations and thank you notes and is so talented, you just wouldn't believe it! I've come to know and adore her, so it is with a full heart that I ask you to lift Tricia and her family up in prayer.

I'll include little snippets of information, but your best bet is to follow the links to Tricia's family blog throughout this post, because the best and most complete information is there.

In July, Tricia was hospitalized after having two grand mal seizures. They figured out that she's most likely been having petit mal seizures over the last few years. You can read the best information in Tricia's own words, but as a result of Tricia having the seizures and being on the medication that she now takes daily, she was referred for a level II ultrasound. Here is a quote from Tricia's blog on that day:

In the process of looking for those other things, though, the radiologist did
find a problem with the baby. The heart is on the wrong side, and the stomach is
higher than it should be, which indicates a congenital
diaphragmatic hernia.... basically a hole in the diaphragm, which enables
organs that aren't supposed to be there to enter into the chest cavity and shove
the heart over to the opposite side.

Tricia and Brian met with a genetic counselor after their ultrasound and were given lots of information. One of those pieces of information was that sweet Cadenne likely has a 55-65% chance of survival. I know that I was brought to tears the first time I read those words, so I can't imagine the feelings that must have flooded Tricia and Brian's hearts and minds.

Since then, they have had an army of people praying for their family and I'd like to see that army grow even larger today.

So, it's with Tricia's blessing that I ask you to remember sweet baby Cadenne and her amazing family in your prayers. They have a big day tomorrow with two major appointments, and they can use all of the prayers, positive thoughts, and encouragement in the world. Her blog contains specific prayer requests from the family, so I won't try to repeat them. They also welcome words of support, and I'm sure those are a source of tremendous encouragement, so please feel free to stop by if you'd like.

Thank you so much for helping me make this blog thing so much more than just words.

Tricia -- I love you, my friend. Sending you all of my prayers, love, and hugs. You'll be lifted up all day tomorrow.

Yuck.

Pretty much, you have now just become a fly on the wall when I look in the mirror these days. (Just what you've always wanted to be, I'm sure.) I look and I think (and often mutter) "yuck."

I have had a struggle with my weight for many years now, and currently it's a full on war. I have bounced up and down and all around with my weight but right now, I'm up, and I'm not happy.

I'm not just unhappy about the weight itself and the fact that my fat pants are now my everyday pants. I'm not just unhappy about knowing that my health is suffering because of the extra pounds that I carry. I'm not just unhappy because my knees are bothering me again, due to the weight I've put back on.

I'm unhappy because there is no one to blame but me. I am responsible and I am so, so, so disappointed, angry and upset with myself about the whole thing. I could honestly type pages and pages of excuses. Reasons why it's happened, but it boils down to this:

I'm an emotional eater. I need to stop excusing and change the behavior. Period.

If you read my buddy, Earen's blog, you'll know that she posted about the very same thing today. I had to call her and let her know that I'm in the same boat, and that I honestly could have written most of what she wrote myself. I decided I'd join her in her Monday update to the world about how the whole thing is going, so look for that on Mondays.

In addition to having the entire internet world be able to see if I'm actually following through on my plans to better my physical health, I've taken what I consider to be a huge step for me. In my previous weight loss successes, I've done it with a partner. Either a roommate, my husband, a friend, etc. but never in an organized manner. This time, I decided that I needed something more. I needed to kick up the accountability a few notches.

I joined a group called First Place and I'm so, so excited about it. I have done some big time growing in my faith this year and I think that having my walk with the Lord be intertwined with my weight loss journey is exactly what I need. When I first found out about the group (which provides child care - yay!) I hopped on the internet and just bought the stuff I needed so that I couldn't back out later.

I finally am at a place where I'm ready to surrender ALL of it to Him...not just my present condition, but the things that led up to this point. I obviously am doing quite the sucky job of handling it on my own.

So, here I go...I'm on my way!

By the way, I've changed my signature again. (For the 3rd -- and likely not last--time.) So fun!

It's going to be a good day...

Well, it probably was until I said that, huh? *wink*

So, let me tell you about my day so far...

I woke up and looked at the clock and it read 8:02.

8:02!!!!!

Can you believe that? MY children were both still asleep and I was snuggling with my husband! At 8:02 a.m. My hubby must have felt me lift my head off of the pillow because his arms tightened around me.

Chris: "I love you."
Me: "It's 8:02!!!"
Chris: (laughs) "I say I love you and you say it's 8:02?"
Me: "Well, I know you know that I love you, but I'm pretty sure you didn't know that we're still laying here in silence after 8:00 am and the kids are actually here, too!"

It's already a good day right there! Church was last night, so today is family time, from start to finish. The Broncos are playing, the weather is nice and cool but still warm, and we have nothing on the calendar except for spending time together.

It's now 8:44 and my kiddos are both snuggled under the blankets in our bed watching cartoons and giggling out loud every once in a while. Mitchell starts giggling, Georgia looks from the tv to his face, decides that she should be laughing, and joins in. I look over at both of them and can't help it, so I join in. Laughter really is contagious.

I'm sitting two feet away from them at the computer, and we're all in our Broncos stuff. I'm actually peacefully catching up on email, blogs, and, much to my husband's dismay, the eBay auctions I've bid on that are ending this morning. (There are some super cute jeans I am trying to get for Miss G! Sweet -- just won one of them!) I haven't had to say "Stop that," "Put that down", "Shhhhh," "Be nice," or "Just a minute," once. They are just content to just lay there together.

My husband? Where is he? My beloved Starbucks-hater is currently in the drive-thru line getting me an iced coffee. I didn't even ask! He just said he'd be back, and I know what that means! As he was leaving, he announced that he would be making breakfast upon his return. He is making his awesome breakfast burritos for us -- yummmmmmmmy!

Today's already been a wonderful day...I can't wait to see what the rest of the day brings!

Thank you, Lord, for my wonderful family. Thank you for opening my eyes in such a gentle, comforting way this morning.

Earworms...

Just wondering if anyone has any idea when the songs that echo in my mind all day will be actual grown up songs again?

Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

I wander around all day singing things like this...

"Oh, Mister Sun, Sun, Mister Golden Sun...Please shine down on meeeeeeeeeeeee."

"If you like to talk to tomatoes...."

"I'm gonna color my world Crayola..."

"God's green earth is not just green, so many colors in between."


I was just thinking about this as I was humming "Winnie The Pooh" to myself while washing the dishes this morning. I used to hum along to my own favorite songs, and they're still in there somewhere, but they are definitely buried under a tremendous pile of kiddie faves. I can't remember the last time they surfaced for a little humming along time.

One of the cd's I don't mind having invade my memory are these great Bible song cd's. (We have both of them, but I prefer Vol. 2, if that review means anything to you.) My kids love them and I'll tell ya - I now have several verses swimming around my head during the day, which is never a bad thing. It's also fun to hear Mitchell randomly singing the songs, knowing that he has just tucked some very powerful words into his heart and mind. Many days, those are actually the cd's he chooses for car rides and quiet time in his room. They have even edged out The Wiggles!

In closing, I will throw a word of thankfulness out there that my children are not obsessed with the Doodlebops. I think that one might send me careening over Sanity Ridge.

Ready, Set, Fly.

Wednesday was Mitchell's first day of his last year of preschool. You would think that after two and a half years of this, it would just be another day for me. Not at all. This year, things are so different.

So glaringly different.

We started at ten and counted down the number of sleeps to go until school began. Every morning, his first words usually centered around "Only ___ more sleeps to go until school!" To say he was ready to go would be a dramatic understatement.

Tuesday afternoon we went shopping for some things at Target. It was a big deal for Mitchell and he took his selection of a new backpack very seriously. I was very surprised that he chose Spider Man, but it all made sense once I realized that he just hadn't seen the Thomas backpacks yet. Let's just say that Spider Man's time in the spotlight was extremely short lived.

I have never seen him more interested in my grocery shopping. He was acutely aware of which snacks, fruit and drinks I was selecting and enthusiastically congratulated me each time I made what he considered to be a good choice. I believe that the full-sized yogurt (we usually get the little snack size) was what drew the most excitement.



He even helped me pick a new shirt to wear to school for his first day. When we finally found one that we both agreed was great, he said "Oh, I think my teacher's going to love it!"

Funny, I was just thinking to myself that she's going to love him.

For the first time ever, Mitchell actually helped me pack his lunch. It was a very serious task for him, and he wanted to make sure that everything was placed just so in his little insulated Thomas lunch bag. This made me laugh because after he so carefully zipped it close, he quickly crammed it into the fruit drawer, most likely squishing everything he'd just lovingly set inside. Once it was in the fridge he matter of factly stated "Well, that's done."

That morning, the first words out of his mouth were "Is it school today? Do I get to go?" When I told him that yes, it was finally time for his first day of school, he started jumping around our bedroom with his arms in the air singing "Yay, yay, yay! It's time for school!" He didn't even fight me at all when I wet and combed his hair. He actually insisted that the top snap be fastened on his new shirt. He was as interested in having a neat appearance as I was. Amazing.

As we headed out the door to the garage, Mitchell asked if we had to hurry. I said that we would be okay since we weren't running late, but we weren't exactly early either. His response was just so, well, "Mitchell" of him.

He said, "That means we're right on time, just like Thomas!" Only Mitchell could bring it all back around to good ol' Thomas.

I herded the kids over to the front yard for the obligatory first day of school pictures. When Mitchell was putting his backpack on, Miss G positively lost her mind about not having a backpack of her own. Since he is such a sweet big brother, Mitchell quickly disappeared inside and returned with his old bumblebee backpack. It was sort of a passing of the torch, right there by the milkbox. I helped her put the bee on her back and she giggled with glee. Mitchell said "I think she likes it!" He didn't even complain when she wanted to get in on the photo session.



He really enjoyed hamming it up for the camera, making sure to hold his lunchbox up in prime viewing range. After a few quick snaps of the camera, we piled into the van and headed off to school. I lost count of how many times he yelled "Yay," "Yippee," and "Woohoo" on the way over.

After I took one last picture in front of the school, he took off running for the door and I was struck by what a different boy I was bringing to preschool. Last year, he was a complete mess. We were both in tears and a teacher had to literally peel him off of me when it was time for me to leave. I remember children saying "Hi, Mitchell" to the huddled little lump hiding behind my legs.



This year, he flung the door open and before I even saw him disappear inside, I heard him yell, "Zach! How are ya, baby?" (Yes, that's a direct quote.) I had to track him down for a picture with Zach and a quick goodbye hug as he was excitedly exploring his new classroom. I was glad that I had Miss G to hug on my way out to the van because it was bittersweet to realize that a part of my "little" boy had just become a memory. Who would have ever thought I'd miss the tug on my heart that his clingy cries never failed to produce.

I'm very happy to report that he is still very, very happy to see me when I pick him up. I thought for sure he'd be a little more subdued this year, given how ready he was to stay at school, but my heart did a happy little flip flop when he yelled, "Mommy" at the top of his lungs as I walked in the door. My smile grew bigger as I saw him then run to give me a giant squeeze. His hug was felt as tightly around my heart as it was around my neck.

His first day was a complete success. Apparently, he filled everyone in on the fact that both his new shirt and his entire lunch came from Target. He also graced the lunch table with several of his "knock, knock" jokes, which one teacher was still chuckling about. Her comment to me as we waved goodbye said it all...

"Someone grew up this summer."



Yes, someone sure did.

Playing Along Today...

Okay, so I decided that since there are some things I am very loyal to and love to pieces, I would take part in the "Works For Me Wednesday" with Rocks In My Dryer. I love finding out about new stuff to make life easier, clean cleaner and tastes good. Play along if you want!

1. Easy Off Bam Power Stain & Drain Cleaner - I have actually been meaning to talk about how much I love this stuff. It's by far the best toilet bowl cleaner I've ever tried. It also took some sort of mystery smell out of my sink. Give it a whirl -- it's my find of the summer!

2. Shout - This is nothing new to those of you that have talked laundry with me. Nothing does the job like my beloved Shout for stain removal. It really does kick some serious laundry bootie.

3. Soft & Dri, Dri Gel (Cool & Clean scent) - I haven't used anything else for about 10 years. It's definitely something that you either love or hate...I've had people borrow my deodorant and be grossed out by the gel part of it, but it dries clear and really does a good job.

4. Garden Botanika's Heart Perfume - I'm such a whacko, I even put it on after my shower if I'm just going to sleep. I love, love, LOVE this smell...it's so clean and fresh. Occasionally, I have people ask me what kind of shampoo I use and it always ends up being my perfume that they smell. I don't know what I'll do if they ever stop making it.

5. Bath & Body Works Handsoap - Our favorites are "Warm Vanilla Sugar", "Key Lime Verbena", and "Mandarin Orange". Yum! I love it when it goes on sale 5 for $15.

6. Ken's Steakhouse Salad Dressings - If you haven't tried these yet, you are missing out! The Blue Cheese is our favorite. Sooooo yummy!!

7. Celestial Seasonings Herbal Tea - I love the Cranberry Zinger. Mmmmm!

8. Starbucks Coffee - Did you really think I wouldn't put it on here? Seriously.

Stray thoughts...

Mitchell loves to play in our closet. He was in there playing Buzz Lightyear last night as I looked for a paper for his school at the computer desk:

Mitchell: Mommy, I love you so much.

Me: I love you, too.

Mitchell: I'm going to say a prayer for you.

Me: I would love that.

*Lays down his space shuttle and folds his hands.*

Mitchell: Dear God, Thank you for giving me my Mommy. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Me: Wow. That might be the best prayer I've ever heard.

Mitchell: Thanks. So, Mommy, Buzz Lightyear is going to go save Woody...

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Georgia has started to sing. I can hear her in her crib in the mornings and can tell that she is singing to herself. "Winnie The Pooh," "Twinkle, Twinkle," "Old McDonald," and "The ABC's" appear to be her favorites. It is absolutely adorable and so captures who she is at this age. I hope that I can always close my eyes and hear the sweet sounds of her little songs.

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A verse on my heart today as I send Mitchell off to his first day of his last year of preschool.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

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I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but Georgia is apparently able to throw half of a toasted bagel the length of at least three tables. Frisbee style. Just, you know, in case it comes up in conversation or something. Might be good information for you to have, especially if you happen to be sitting, say, within three tables of us.

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Before I go - just have to share that I've added yet another great blog to my reading list! I followed a link to Alana's blog and found out how to make my own signature! Very cool...thanks for the inspiration!

Wishes and dreams...

"I wish" might come from a friend wanting to something to change a situation, but feeling nothing short of helpless as she listens to someone she loves struggle to make it through each new day.

"I wish" likely echoes the thoughts of a man who is silently coveting the brand new corvette that zooms around him in his minivan as he drives up a mountain road. (Totally made that one up, by the way. It didn't happen this weekend or anything.)

"I wish" can be heard from mothers everywhere as they long for someone else to clean the house and do the six loads of dirty laundry that are piled on the floor.

"I wish" is likely the way you'll hear about a child wanting to have a pony or the ability to fly.


The phrase has taken on new meaning with me and my "Mommy's heart" today. Until this weekend, it seemed to be so much bigger than my small children. Not that they don't have wishes and dreams, I know that they definitely do. It's just that, to me, being able to clearly state them with "I wish" seems like such a big step.

Friday, we were driving down the road we always take to get into our neighborhood. As we passed the little farmhouse and stables, instead of showing his sister the horses and helping her "neigh" instead of "moo," Mitchell said this:

"Hey, Mommy...I wish I could ride a horse."

There was even a dreamy quality to his voice as he said it. I had to look in the rearview mirror to be sure it was really him, strapped into his carseat. My little boy wishes to ride a horse. Before that moment, he most likely would have said something like, "Hey, Mommy? Can I ride a horse some day?" On Friday, he dreamed a dream and out came a wish.

He grows a little more every day, and I'm not talking about his height.

As we were driving past a lake on our way home from the mountains yesterday, it happened again. We were talking about how beautiful the scene was: the lake set up against the trees, the clouds casting shadows on the water, and the sailboats skimming across the water. Georgia pointed out the window and excitedly yelled, "Wawa!! Wawa!! Boat!" Her brother didn't say a word. He just looked.



I had turned around in my seat while I was talking to them and it was like looking through a little window in Mitchell's mind. He silently stared out the window and was obviously lost in the beauty of what he saw. When we passed the edge of the lake, he continued looking out of his window for a few moments longer, but then turned his head toward me. We locked eyes and a big smile crept across his face, which in turn, made me smile.

Then he said, "I wish I could sail on a boat. Maybe when I'm five, I can go sailing."

I just smiled and said "Maybe," knowing that watching moments like that through your child's eyes is nothing short of a gift. It was hard to resist the urge to bolt to the backseat and just wrap him in my arms and rock him. Instead, I reached over and held my husband's hand. He looked at me and said "Did he just say he wants to go sailing?"

Yes, it's his wish.

A glimpse of the future...

Last night at about midnight, Miss G woke up with a huge scream, which was quickly followed by a series of 3 more equally ear-splitting screams. I went in and saw her standing up in her crib holding her arms out saying "Mama, Maaaaammmmmaaaaa." She looked so miserable and scared.

While I'm on the subject, can I just say that the pain-filled screams, the agony on her face when I first entered the room, and the sadness in her little voice put my stomach into knots. I think that knowing my child is scared or in pain and being able to see and hear that fear so clearly is one of the worst feelings I get as a Mommy. For whatever reason, it always seems so much worse in the middle of the night like that...hearing either of my kids wake up from a dead sleep takes my breath away for a moment.

Anyway, I scooped her up and brought her into our room for a little motrin cocktail. (She is cutting 4 teeth right now and it's the only thing that helps when this happens.) She ended up sitting and snuggling with us for awhile before I put her back to bed. My husband and I had been listening to xm radio through the tv while we were snuggling and talking in bed. Our favorite station is "Lucy" because they play some of our favorite stuff from our college days...U2, INXS, etc. Georgia instantly noticed that the tv was on, but not "on." She seemed pretty confused and kept pointing to the tv, asking "Mooosk?" We'd tell her "Yes, music on the tv," but that still seemed puzzling to her as she undoubtedly tried to figure out where Mickey Mouse was hiding.

Well, that perplexed look on her face completely disappeared when the Beastie Boys song "Intergalactic" came on. Georgia's little bootie started bouncing up and down on the bed, and she started flat out jamming! Chris has always said we're in trouble because she is so much like me that it's scary. (Literally, it's frightening...I wasn't known for being the easiest child.) All three of us had so much fun laughing and singing together -- that song is so funny and it's hard not to tap your toes or shake your bootie. The thing is...

...guess who has always been a major Beastie Boys girl? Yep, me.

Georgia definitely "connected" with this song and she proceeded to giggle and dance her way through the song. At one point, she just naturally put herself nose-to-nose and forehead-to-forehead with me for my favorite line, "I'll stir-fry you in my wok!" We both started cracking up as we separated and Chris said "Oh, my word."

I was a bit of a wild child in my later high school and college years, and I am telling you - it was like Chris and I could both see that our sweet Miss G has that same little "spark." Our challenge will definitely be to keep this girl busy and engaged in things that channel that gleam in her eye into healthy, productive activities.

Otherwise, we're in trouble. Take it from me, I used to be trouble.

See for yourself...

I'm up late checking stuff off of my to-do list. I just uploaded pictures and video from my camera and thought I'd add some in here since they match the things I've written about lately.

Emily, since you put in a special request - here is the "before" picture. Um, YEAH. Self-explanatory (I hope) with regards to the need for a haircut. Getting a little unruly there.







Okay, now for the "after" shot. (FYI - she is actually playing the part of Pilchard in this picture.) I realize her ponytail is halfway out, making it look worse, but look how much the lady took off of the sides and the back! The reason her pony is all crazy is actually because it was cut so short on top that it falls out somewhat easily now. *sigh* It looked a little better today -- I think it was just a shock to my system to see it so dang short yesterday. Anyway, here's George. Uh.



Speaking of Pilchard, here she is "assisting" Bob in the shoveling of rocks, in her beloved pink knock-offs, no less.



Moving right along...here's a video to match the "before" picture. I am the box top and soup label collection lady for my son's preschool and Georgia found my bag of stuff -- including the roll of 150 baggies. She had the biggest grin on her face when I came out of the bathroom (that'll teach me to go pee alone!) and was so proud of herself. I decided that I already had a mess to clean up -- why not just grab the camera first? (Oh, and for the record, the big yucky stain on her pajamas is from her vitamins. Sometimes Mommy isn't awake enough to remember to put a towel under her chin when we do vitamins on the way downstairs to breakfast. Pretty, huh?) Personally, my favorite part is that out of all of that mess and chaos, she takes the time to bring me my little baggie of box tops. I mean, come on -- that's gotta be a life skill right there, huh? Mom, if you're reading this -- I'm guessing this reminds you of me being able to pluck something specific out of a 4 foot deep pile of stuff in my room. Organized chaos...looks like it might be hereditary.



I'll finish with a video of the kids from last night. I was making dinner while they were "watching" Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. (I think that's what it was. Clifford, maybe?) Anyway - I heard lots of giggling coming from the living room and here's what I found. She's so delicate, isn't she? *teeheehee*

Backyard education...

So much of my childhood happened in our backyard. When I was little, it ceased to be a backyard and became a jungle, a castle, an ocean, or a forest, depending on where my imagination took me. I can remember getting yelled at by my mom to get out of the garden and yelling back that I wasn't in the garden, I was trying not to fall into the moat at the castle because a prince had just rescued me. (And actually believing that it was true.)

Yesterday I was reminded of these wondrous adventures as Mitchell's imagination transformed our backyard into Bob the Builder's workyard. I was Wendy, he was Bob, and Georgia was Pilchard. (Pilchard is a cat.) Scoop, Lofty, Muck...they were all there. The sandbox was the construction zone, the climber/slide was Bob's house (and sometimes a store), the sideyard was the rock quarry, the grass was the swimming pool, and the woodchipped area was the road.

I was picking weeds while the kids were playing and it was so fun to watch and listen to this magical land develop around him. (I have to say that Miss G never made it out of the backyard and into the workyard, but I know that all too soon she will create wonderful lands of her own out there.)

I should mention that I was asked to babysit his cat several times. Usually it went something like this:

Bob: "Uhhh, Wendy?"
Wendy: "Yes?"
Bob: "No, you need to say 'Yes, Bob' so that I know you're talking to me."
Wendy: "No prob, Bob."
Bob: "Noooooo, not 'No prob, Bob,' it's 'Yes, Bob.'"

(I really should give him a break, huh? Pulling weeds is just soooo boring sometimes!)

Wendy: "Right. Okay."
Bob: "Uhhhh, Wendy?"
Wendy: "Yes, Boooooooooob!"
Bob and Wendy both giggle.
Bob: "So, can you watch Pilchard for me? She's in my way and I've got important work to do."
Wendy: "Well, she's just a baby cat. She doesn't know what to do. You should show her."
Bob: "How about you show her what to do and I'll just keep on working."

(That wasn't a question.)

Wendy: "No prob, Bob."

Bob did end up teaching Pilchard a thing or two, and even got her a shovel of her very own when he was shoveling rocks and she wanted to help. Of course, Pilchard didn't read the unwritten rules that Bob got the yellow shovel and she got the red one, but it all worked out. I think she may have actually answered to "Pilchard" a time or two there towards the end. The last 20 minutes or so of our time outside involved Bob shoveling rocks and Pilchard watching him, often yelling, "Ohhhhh! Wak! Momma!! Wak!!"

I love knowing that regardless of where we live or what our yard looks like, my children can open the back door and step into whatever land they choose.

I am hoping that my invitation to join them never expires. It's another one of my happy places.

Random thoughts on a Tuesday...

*Warning* Blogger with no direction!!

I just got home from getting the kids' haircuts. I brought home two handsome little boys. Seriously - that's what it looks like. The Cost Cutters lady and I did not communicate very clearly because Miss G looks like Mr. G at the moment. Her hair is WAYYYYYY shorter than I wanted it. Oh well -- it will grow, right? Bows, ponytails, barettes -- a MUST these next few weeks! (Ummmm, I have a bit of a "hair" thing with her, does it show?)

* * *

I think that Mitchell must be in the middle of a growth spurt or something. All he does is ask me to eat. And eat. And eat. He is a bottomless pit.

* * *

I bought this goofy little pink terrycloth babydoll dress thing at Walmart recently. (My middle of the night run with Miss G during her refuse-to-sleep-thing while we were out of town.) I love to put it on after my showers, and have been seriously tempted to wear it all day long a few times this week.

* * *

Rocky Ford cantaloupe and Palisade peaches --- August in Colorado! Yum!!!

* * *

Joke of the day from Mitchell:
"What do you get when you cross a duckie, a race car and a fan?"

"Daffy Duck that floats away and crashes into trains!"

Welcome to my world, friends. I don't get it either.

* * *

I had about 10 extra minutes the other day in between seeing clients, so I cruised into this little consignment store that is in the neighborhood, just to see if they had any good jeans for the kids since they both need some for the fall. No luck in the jeans department for Miss G, but I scored about 4 pair for Mitchell and I also ended up buying Georgia a pair of pale pink knock off crocs. See, she went crazy over some twins' shoes at the ped the other day. They both had on pink crocs and she lost her mind -- kept bending down (doing that kid squat that makes my knees hurt just watching) and pointing at them saying, "Oooohhhhhh, SHOOOOOOZ, Mama! SHOOOOZ!" I tried some crocs on for myself at a store a while back because I was curious what the big deal was, and really - they didn't do it for me. They didn't feel very comfy, and (no offense to croc lovers) I think they are less than cute, so I never really even thought about getting some for the kids. Well, when I saw the little pink ones for $2.99 the other day in her size, I thought I would give them a try.

Oh. My.

There were tears getting into the tub last night. She didn't want to part with her pink shoes. Guess what went on her feet the second her diaper was changed this morning? Yep, the pink knock offs. So far, this is the best $2.99 I've spent in quite some time.

* * *

And I'll end with a knock-knock joke since he just walked up and asked if I wanted to hear one.

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Train."
"Train who?"
"Train on a dragon when he says RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR."

* * *

Happy Tuesday!

Monday - Marriage and More...

So, I was inspired to jot down the story of how Chris and I met, and then I remembered -- I already did! A whole year ago! It was 15 years to the day that we met and I blogged about it.
He was actually supposed to mow tonight but it's raining -- what are the odds? *teeheehee*

So, today was one of those days where I feel like my son grew up in front of my eyes. Actually, more like when I was in the bathroom. Or doing laundry. Just...today. He seems noticeably older and bigger than he did yesterday.

If you're a mom, I'm convinced that you know what I'm talking about and if you're not, it's quite possible that I sound like I need to have a chat with the doctor or something.

I think it's some new independence that has me thrown for a loop. Things I used to have to ask him several times to do have just sort of happened today. When I woke up this morning, I noticed he was in different pajamas than he went to bed in. I asked what happened and he said he got hot, so he changed. He got himself dressed (I didn't ask him to, he just did it on his own) while I was changing Georgia's diaper this morning. I came back from changing out the loads of laundry and saw that he'd put his bowl in the sink. I said "Hey, thanks for putting your bowl in the sink!" He responded with "You're welcome. My spoon's in there, too."

Okay, am I nuts for letting that get me all choked up?

It's been like that all day long! Every time I turn around today, it seems that I'm met with another "when did that happen" moment.

6 lbs, 4 oz. He started out at 6 lbs, 4 oz. and he had elephant skin. It just sort of hung there on him. His poor little jaundiced body was stuck in the "bug zapper" (a.k.a. the billirubin light-filled suitcase) for 3 days and I remember thinking that for as huge as I felt at the end of my pregnancy, he just couldn't have seemed tinier. His cries were tiny. His diapers were tiny. His little tushy was tiny and fit in the palm of my hand.

One thing I'll never forget about Mitchell is that no matter how far out on my shoulder I held him, he would find a way to get himself positioned under my chin and near my heart. I'd just laugh every time I realized where he'd gotten because it seemed like he moved himself there without me even knowing it.

Well, his sweet cheeks are a little bigger now, but the Doodlebug just did it again.

Pretty please with sugar on top...

I wish that Georgia was old enough to understand the seriousness of my plea. It's simple, really. Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeee, take another nap today.

You see, I have a cold. A yucky summer cold. I got it from the two little munchkins that live here. Actually, biggest munchkin got it first. Littlest munckin decided to have a swig of biggest munchkin's drink while Mommy wasn't looking about two days into his cold and I knew that she would soon be feeling the love. Two days later, and I was sadly correct.

I reaaaallllllyyyyy thought I could battle my way through and not get it. I started feeling the tickle myself and drank Airborne for two straight days and was feeling so much better! Not 100%, but about 92%...pretty good, right?

Well, I have this thing about sleeping with the windows open. I have nothing against fresh air, in fact, I am a lover of all things fresh, but it seems that every time I sleep with an open window, I wake with a cold. Friday night one of my roommates was hot in the hotel and left the window open until 2 a.m. I wasn't even in that room, so I didn't really worry about it - we had a suite and I was on the pull-out sofa bed in the next room -- but I woke up in the morning feeling like I was going backwards again. It could totally be random circumstances, or perhaps the narsty (yes, that's a step beyond nasty) air circulating in the room itself, as evidenced by the fuzzy air vent near the ceiling in the bathroom. I have a feeling it was just a combination of everything. Oh, and did I mention that I stayed up until nearly 2 am and got up again for the day at 6:30? That probably factors in as well.

Today, I feel about 46%. Not good. So, as I wait to see if Miss G will be Mommy's best friend and take a 2nd nap (ha!) today, I thought I'd type out a little whiney blog about feeling blah.

Well, I'm assuming that she's done with her books and is in fact, not interested in more sleep as I now the following coming from her room:

"Mama."
"Heyyyyy."
"Heyyyyyyyyyy."
"Maaaaaamaaaaaa."
"I wanna muk."

She's so subtle.

Home

I did something this weekend that is a very rare occurence around here...I spent the night away from home without my husband and children for my MOPS steering retreat. Going into it on Friday afternoon, I was a bit concerned only because my husband was not having a good day. He was very stressed out by work and a variety of other things...he hit an emotional wall in a way, I think. Anyway -- not exactly the time that I'd love to go jetting off for a day and a half. I would have loved to have been able to sit with him that night, give him a backrub and just be there for him. Instead, there was a semi-frantic exchange of cars and a drive through rush hour traffic for him as he was off to meet my parents for dinner and begin his solo time with the kids. I did get him a card and a little treat on my way to the hotel, but a part of my heart felt sad as he drove away because I felt like I was just adding to his stress. I said some special prayers for him as I walked back into the conference room from the parking lot because I know that when I'm at home with the kids and I'm feeling stressed, it often results in a more anxious, less patient, short-tempered Mommy and I didn't want to be setting him up for the same sort of experience.

Talk about completely underestimating my amazing husband.

I called and talked to him as he was getting the kids into for bed and he already sounded so much better. He told me that everyone had a great time at dinner and that he and Georgia even developed a new trick together, which involved him jiggling her chin around and her making silly noises. Hearing the joy in his voice was a delight for me and I knew then that everything would be fine. Breathing a sigh of relief as I heard him tell me that he loved me and to enjoy my time with "the hens," I hung up the phone with no guilt whatsoever. When I talked to him in the morning, I learned that both kids slept all night (rare these days) and that everyone woke up in a good mood. I even talked to both of them on the phone without it leading to tears about me coming home! Again, I hung up the phone and enjoyed the rest of my day without any guilt about being there.

When I got home last night, I was met by silence, which was a little scary. I will say that there was no blood, broken furniture, and no evidence of fire or flood, so I decided not to panic yet.

As I entered the living room I found my son asleep (asleep?!?!) on the couch, but no sign of my husband or Georgia. As I walked into the empty kitchen past a sleeping Mitchell, I could hear the two of them chattering over the monitor, meaning that she likely just woke up from a nap. (At 5 o'clock?!?!) I was greeted by sunscreen on the counter (a trip to the park), a new trash can (yesssss!) and a picture of the three of them posing in front of a NASCAR car (what?!). Apparently the new Best Buy opened this weekend and my NASCAR nuts got to see the sponsored car parked in front of the store. (He claims he didn't know it would be there, but I'm skeptical.) As I studied the picture of my three happy loved ones, I noticed that both kids were wearing the same clothes that I had left them in the day before. That made me laugh, and I knew that my husband would be claiming to save me from more dirty laundry. I heard Chris say "Let's go downstairs" so I went to greet them.

When my husband brought Miss G down the stairs, I could hear him say "Guess who's here" to her. As they rounded the corner on the landing and we saw each other, the sheer delight in her giggle and the smile that stretched across her entire face both wrapped themselves around my heart. She held her arms out to me and joyfully yelled "MOOOOOMMMMMMAAAAAA!!!!!" I took her from Chris and she instantly wrapped her little arms around my neck, laid her head down on my shoulder and squeezed me with the tightest hug an 18 month old is capable of.

That feeling. That one. That's one of my happy places.

After my world class hug, she immediately sat up, looked at me and in a very serious tone said "I wanna muk." My husband and I just laughed because it was Georgia's way of saying, "Okay, welcome home, yadda yadda...give up the milk, sister."

After a wonderfully comforting bear hug from my husband, he returned to making dinner (pork chops, baked potatoes and a big garden salad - huh?!) and I filled a muk order. As I was putting the milk back into the fridge, I heard Chris say "Hey, buddy -- look who's home!" I closed the door and looked into the living room to see a tousled head of hair, two big brown eyes, and a shy but undeniably joyful smile peeking up at me over the island.

Our reunion was more subdued, but his sleepy grin and gentle hugs melted my heart as I rubbed his back while he woke up and showed me his new Tony Stewart racecar that Daddy had bought for him at "Wullmert." That lasted about a minute and a half, at which point Georgia sniffed out our physical contact and came to voice her displeasure at me hugging anyone but her. My snuggle time with Mitchell turned into snuggle time with Mitchell and Georgia, leading to my husband and I exchanging glances across the room. He could see that I knew I was back where I belonged and I could see that he had been longing for that to happen all day.

Home. I love being home.

BFF?

My son's favorite thing to do in the morning is to go see his sister in the morning before anyone else does. He is usually up before she is and when he hears her making noise, he always excitedly asks "Can I go see my sister??" When we tell him that he can he yells "Yay!!!!!" and throws the door open to her room and says "Good morning, Sweetheart." He has done this for as long as I can remember. (This picture is a few months old -- I can tell by her hair. And obviously, it's after a nap, not first thing in the morning.) Their game that they have developed is pretty funny to watch. Georgia tosses every stuffed animal and blanket out of her crib and tries to land them on Mitchell's head, and he just as quickly picks them up and hurls them right back into the crib. They laugh and laugh and will do it for about 10-15 minutes, most of the time. In fact, that's what I'm listening to right now, as her room is next door to ours.

It is so sweet, and as I listen to their shrieks of joy, I wonder if they will always be best friends at heart? They are joined at the hip and 9 times out of 10, where you find one, you will find the other. It helps that Georgia thinks Mitchell hung the moon and wants to be right near him doing whatever it is that he's doing. Don't get me wrong, there are many scuffles each day over not taking turns with toys, Georgia "ruining" train tracks, and things like that. In spite of these daily bumps in the road, I hear much more laughing than I do tears, and when one is upset or hurt, the other is right there with a hug and a concerned look.

I hope that they remain close as they grow older and it's my prayer that they continue to protect and love each other the way that they do now because they are a great team.

Off to start the day!

"I want"

I was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday (Hi, Renee!) and Georgia came up and said "I want milk." (It actually comes out as "I wanna muk.") I then said that half of what she says these days is preceded by the words "I want." Renee then told me she thought that was pretty good developmentally and I laughed that if she's going to master the art of saying something, "I want" is not a surprising catch phrase for our little ball of fire.

I thought about this as the day went on and had a little revelation of sorts. One of those things you know but don't really think much about. Guess who else lives her life with the words "I want" as a mantra most days?

Me.

Let me demonstrate:

*I want to sell my house quickly.
*I want to be able to find "the perfect" house for us.
*I want my 3 hours of work each week to be easy money.
*I want my husband to be happy at work and not have to work overtime.
*I want my kids to be healthy and well-adjusted.
*I want time for my own study of the Bible each day.
*I want time to myself each day to just relax.
*I want my kids to be kids, just not to make messes like kids.
*I want a housekeeper, you know, other than me.
*I want to be skinny without the jogging. (What's up, Earen? *wink*)
*I want some cute clothes that are beyond inexpensive.

To recap:

I want it easy. I want it now. I want it painless. I want it clean. I want it cheap. I want it convenient. I want it happy.

I want it all.

Times like this, I love the Bible that I use -- it has real life questions in it. Today, I looked up and did the lesson with this one:

"Why is enough never enough? No matter what I have, I dream about what I don't have."

*ahem* Yeah, that seems to fit this morning. I'm going to try and keep this verse on my heart today because, well, WOW. Just wow. It was just what I needed to hear today.

Ecclesiastes 6: 7-9

Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don't have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless; it is like chasing the wind.

I think that I'll turn my "I wants" into "I'm gratefuls."

*I'm grateful that we don't HAVE to sell our house quickly and that we have such a lovely home to live in.
*I'm grateful for the opportunity to buy a bigger home with more luxuries for our family, no matter where that may be.
*I'm grateful for the ability to work at a job I truly enjoy and to have the chance to be a part of changing the lives of children and families.
*I'm grateful that my husband has a strong work ethic and a wonderful job which provides me with the chance to stay home with my children, since I know that's where I belong for now. I'm grateful for the lessons he is learning during his overtime work as I know they will serve him well as he continues to advance in his career.
*I'm grateful that for the most part, my children ARE healthy and well-adjusted. The gift of a healthy child should never be taken for granted...I need to remember that.
*I'm grateful for the chance to worship freely in this country and for the foundation that my parents laid for me so long ago. I'm thankful for Christian music stations as many days, that's the only real time I'm able to have with God's word - -in the car, doing dishes, etc.
*I'm grateful for having a family that I love surround me each day. I know that I could very well be someone who only had time to myself and I would be so lonely.
*I'm grateful for the messes that my children make each day because it means that we spent time having fun and learning together. It also means I had the chance to be with them today.
*I'm grateful for the neverending piles of laundry, dishes and dirty floors because it means we have enough clothes to wear, food toe at, and a house to live in.
*I'm grateful for the yummy food that has given me this ample figure. *hee hee* Actually, I'm grateful for the chance to grow closer to the Lord as I soon begin a Christian-based weight loss group.
*I'm grateful for the fact that I am able to clean out all of our closets at least twice a year and give those clothes to charity.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...that feels so much better. I think I'll print this out and keep it where I can read it every single day as a reminder to myself of how to get rid of the "I wants."

P.S. - Wouldn't you know it, just as I finished typing this, my sweet baby girl woke up and said "I wanna MAMA."

I'm so grateful to be loved and needed by my precious children.

In case you were curious...

Here is a sampling of what Hurricane Georgia is capable of accomplishing in under 10 minutes:

*emptying the entire book cabinet of books
*decorating the living room with 150 napkins (for the 3rd time in one day -- their current home is part of our "staging" process -- guess I need to find them a new spot)
*taking every ziploc baggie out of the box
*stealing hot sauce packets out of the front of the silverware drawer (note to self: move to the back of the drawer when I go downstairs) and running around the living room with them, all the while giving Mommy a heart attack that the clenched little fists will burst the hot sauce packets open all over the new carpet.
*getting snot all over 3 couch pillows while practicing her newly developed ottoman-climb-flip-onto-the-sofa acrobatic move
*partially unscrewing her sippy cup lid and proceeding to dump the entire contents (thankfully just water) onto the highchair tray after an exasperated Mommy straps her in there in order to try and get dinner on plates instead of chasing her around the entire downstairs

The next person who tells me "she's a busy girl" gets to keep her for the day and then see if they still think that's an accurate description. She is WAYYYYYYY beyond busy, folks.

I know that all too soon I will be wanting this stage back but now I'm remembering why 18 months was a tough stage for me with my son. And he was about 1/3 of her in the ol' mischief department.

By the way, the reason she's able to get into all of those drawers is because he never did so they don't have drawer locks.

Yet.

Self-reflection...

First of all, thanks to my fellow blogging friends who inspired me to bling out my blog a bit. I got the bug to glam it up a little after looking at everyone else's cool pictures and things. (Plus, I am avoiding my tower of dirty laundry at this point.)


I just got done finishing up my "homework" for a Bible study that I've been a part of all summer. Every week that we met, we would each bring pictures that corresponded to different things we were talking about. We'd share our pictures with each other and explain why and how they fit into each area and when we went home, we put them into a scrapbook and did some journaling.

I'm truly amazed at how much good this little bit of self-reflection has done for my heart! It was fun to do, sometimes challenging and I have gone back to read what I've written several times. This morning, I was wrapping up the last part of my scrapbooking and as I finished, I realized that I'm a bit sad to be done with this because it's been so good for me.

I've truly enjoyed the soul-searching element of it, and each and every time, it's caused me to focus on the gifts in my life and to see exactly where I've come from, where I am now, and where I want to be in so many different areas. Above all, it's been a very concrete way to reflect about how the Lord has worked in my life. I have written the words "amazed", "astounded", "humbled" and "overwhelmed" more times than I can count.

Here are the things I've already done:
*Blessings
*Answered and unanswered prayers
*People that I love
*People who have influenced my spiritual journey
*My purpose in life

As you might imagine by looking at that list, many of the same people keep popping up in my pictures, but my thoughts about them and the ways in which they have touched my life are different each time. I discovered this morning that I'm not ready to be done yet, so I'm attempting to come up with some more things that I can still tackle as I attempt to scrapbook my way through the "core" of my life.

Here are some of the ideas that have to come to mind:
*Choices - both good and bad
*Gratitude
*Questions I have
*Fears/Doubts
*Celebrations

Feel free to toss out any ideas you might have, and I would LOVE to hear about it if you decide to try this yourself. It has been a very powerful way to engage in some pretty deep self-reflection. I have really missed scrapbooking, as I used to do it all of the time, but then just couldn't seem to find the time and didn't do anything for about two years. This has been a wonderful way for me to be creative and get back into a relaxing hobby that I love. I can't wait to keep going!

We're back...

This is the new "cheese" in our house.


We have reached a new Santa milestone. He willingly sat on his lap and talked loudly enough that Santa could hear him. There were no tears, well, unless you count mine.


(There's the cheese again.) I happen to think that one of the most best places to find the essence of childhood is in a swimming pool.

So, we are back from our weekend away and we are all tired. A good tired, but still -- tired. We packed a LOT into one weekend, and really the only thing that wasn't packed in there was a good amount of sleep. I guess that's what happens when you cram in time with good friends, fun places to go, and beautiful surroundings to enjoy. We can always catch up on sleep. (Oh, and Earen - I guess that means I won't be jogging this week. *wink*)

Just in case you're wondering, Friday night was a repeat of Thursday night with the addition of a 1:30 a.m. trip to Walmart for Georgia and I. We were both in our pajamas for soy milk and swimsuits. We ended up getting: new sunglasses for Miss G that she insisted on wearing through the store (complete with the plastic rectangular holder), soy milk, a size 3T bikini for Miss G (she wears 18 months), and a cute, pink terrycloth robe/dress thing for me. The smallest bathing suit they had for me was literally 4 sizes too big. Bummer. And shocker. Doesn't it seem like Mom is the one who gets the shaft in things like that? Oh well -- I got to watch them swim anyway.

I came home from this weekend with renewed gratefulness for the love and friendship I am blessed to have in my life. The laughs, food, scenery and love that I shared during this one weekend are more than many people experience in a lifetime.

Blessed. I am blessed.

Oh, boy...

This weekend could get verrrrrrrry interesting, my friends.

As I type this, it is 3:09 a.m. and I am the only one in the house who is awake. After I finish this entry, I'm going to go do laundry. And I'm not kidding.

We are supposed to leave tomorrow for a short weekend trip away with my best friend and her family for an early 60th birthday celebration for her dad. Here's the thing - both of my kids are sick. And cranky. And whiny.

I'm up at this time of the night because Miss Georgia slept from about 7:30 until about 11:00 and then decided screaming would be good. For a few hours. Again, so not kidding.

The deal with her is this -- she will scream at the very tippy top of those little lungs until I come get her. If I say "Georgia, no screaming. You need to use your words," she will stop screaming, say "Tay" and hold her arms out to me.

Yeah. I said "uh-oh," too.

Seriously. What do I do with that? On the one hand, I don't want to teach her that if she screams like that, she'll get what she wants (a.k.a. mommy's attention). At the same time, I don't want to make her feel as though I won't comfort her when she's upset. (There's also the issue of her brother sleeping next door.)

She actually did wake him up tonight -- I believe that is the first time we've had that happen. She really got her pipes tuned up tonight! Poor Mitchell - he was so tired and confused. I think it worries him when she's upset like that, too. He was upset so I let him come to bed in my room.

So, after a dose of motrin, here's how it's looking at the moment:
*nursery: Georgia is snoring away (massive runny nose/congestion)
*my bedroom: Mitchell and Stacie (my best friend) are both completely sacked out in my bed
*living room: My husband is asleep on the couch

I'm now wide awake as the screamfest was a major stress to me and I am now unable to go to sleep, and not sure where I'd do that if I wanted to, at this point. I'm glad that some peaceful sleep has come to everyone -- hopefully I can take a nap tomorrow or something.

In the meantime, I have dishes to do (we left the dinner ones in the sink tonight), laundry to do, bags to pack, carpets to vaccuum, floors to mop, bathrooms to wipe down, and snacks to pack.

Gee, wonder why I can't sleep....again.

In the meantime, I just read some of my fabulous book for Bible Study and am struck by a passage, which includes scripture. I've been thinking about it for about an hour now and know it's one that I'll be memorizing and taking out for a spin in my mothering journey this week.

"The scripture tells parents not to simply report evidence of God Moments to their children, but to find ways to insure that those truths make a lasting impression. 'These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up' (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)."

Impress them on your children, as you sit, walk, lie down and get up. Wow. That's a little different than just making sure I mention a thing or two in passing.

This last hour, I've not only been pondering meaningful ways in which I can try to place God's handprints on my children's hearts throughout their days, I've also been slapping myself with the reality stick and honestly examining which sticky, messy handprints of my own I've left behind so far.

I know that He is bigger than I am, and that comforts me as I think about His handprints covering mine up. As I think about things like that, I know too that in order to have the impact that I need to on my children's hearts, I will need to not forget to wrap my own heart in His word in all that *I* do each day.

One thing that I've really thought a lot about during the course of this Bible study is the fact that I am immeasurably blessed by the fact that my parents laid a sound spiritual foundation for me. I fell away from The Lord for many years during and after college, but I know that without a doubt, what brought me back is the solid, core beliefs that were, well, impressed upon my heart by my parents as a child.

They couldn't live my life for me. They couldn't make me be someone I wasn't. They couldn't choose paths for me. There was that whole "free will" thing that came into play, and that was completely out of their hands. I'm sure it broke their hearts to watch me drift and go through lots of pain along the way. I know that they never stopped loving me or praying for me, and for that I am beyond grateful. It is a tremendous lesson for me as a mother -- that what I'm doing for, with and around them really does matter. It really will impact their adult lives.

So, starting today, I look to meaningfully impress upon my children's hearts the love and hope of our Lord, for I know just how powerfully it can change someone's life. I'm my own best example.

I love my life.

I really do. I love it.

Love my house.
Love my husband.
Love my kids.
Love my family.
Love my friends.
Love my freedom.

I am blessed. I am truly, truly blessed. That's all I have time for but really, that's all I needed to say right now. I've had a tough week or two emotionally but when it all comes down to it, I have nothing to be really down about. My "problems" are other people's dreams.

I'm blessed and I know it. I'm so thankful to the Lord for all that He has given me.

Priorities...

I'm slowly figuring some things out.

(By the way, is it possible that this is the "30's" thing I've always heard about? Where your 30's are all about finally becoming YOU and figuring out who that is?)

Prioritizing...I can do that. That's what I've always thought about myself, but I'm finding out that maybe that's not exactly as true as I've led myself to believe.

If I'm so adept at prioritizing, then why have I *consistently* knocked taking care of myself to the bottom rung of the ladder? As in, when life gets stressful, it's the first thing to go?

When I'm pressed for time, do I say no to playdates? No, but my workouts are the first thing to go.

When I'm emotionally drained, do I stop answering the phone or listening to my friends when they are having problems of their own? No, and instead of turning to people - I many times turn to food (and don't realize it half the time.)

When I'm stressed out, do I back away from commitments for a short time? No, but my own Bible study and personal reading gets shoved aside.

Stuff like that. Why is that? I'm working on the answer and hoping to change some things.

I guess for me, it's like anything else in life. I'm still searching for some balance...giving of myself to others generously without giving so much that there's nothing left in the tank for me at the end of the day. Or the beginning of the day. Or the middle. I do often find time for myself in the middle of the night though -- you know, when I can't sleep because I'm so stressed out. Ha!

Oh, and the key? Losing the guilt. I'm big. Big. On self-induced guilt. I need to just build a bridge and get over it.

This is definitely something I'm beginning to pray about and I'm trying to build some concrete things into my life and daily routine to help me along. It's a very daunting task.

YOU are the baby!

Friday night Chris had to work a bit late, which was fine since the kids and I were supposed to go to a birthday party for my best friend's nephew. Well, the birthday boy got sick, so instead we went to dinner with my mom and dad. You know what? Georgia apparently sees herself very differently than I do. There was a little boy who looked like he was about her same age sitting at a table behind us. Every once in a while, Miss G would turn around to look at him. After a few minutes, she pointed over at him and actually had the nerve to tell me "Beebee."

Ummmmm...excuse me??!! Are YOU calling HIM a baby??!! YOU are the BABY!

Seriously. That broke my heart in a teeny way that probably makes sense only to other Mommies who are in denial about their youngest, and probably last, child growing up too quickly. My baby -- my BABY -- just seemed so big when she did that.

My sweet baby girl.

And then I just sat and watched her the rest of the meal. Really watched her. I felt like a first time mom again -- I kept telling my mom and dad to look at her, to watch what she was doing. It was like having my eyes newly opened to just how sweet and silly and completely adorable she is.

We had pretty slow service so there was lots of time to watch her. She spent lots of time putting a straw wrapper that she'd ripped into two pieces on top of her head. She'd then sign "hat" and say "hack" and laugh at herself proudly. Shortly after, she'd shake her head until both pieces fell off, then she'd repeat the process.

My sweet baby girl.

Mitchell had requested a "smoovie" so we had them make an adult-sized portion and split into two cups for the kids. Georgia was very excited to taste hers and her reaction was hysterical. She pursed her little mouth into a mini-version of her Daddy's famed "chimp lips" to suck on her straw. She took two big swallows and her eyes immediately grew even bigger and brighter than they normally are, which is saying a lot. She then threw both arms into the air and shouted (literally) "Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

My sweet baby girl.

She had a grilled cheese and applesauce for dinner. I was again snapped out of my denial bubble when I paused to consider that I no longer need to tear her sandwich into little dime or nickel sized bites. I just test her food to make sure it's not too hot and let her at it. No more cramming fistfuls of tiny bites into her mouth...now she's all about taking the biggest bite she can out of her big girl sandwich. When it came time for applesauce, I would offer her bites and she would immediately giggle and hang her head as far backwards as it would go, being very silly. It wasn't until I said "Here, Georgia's turn," that she took any interest in the applesauce. She immediately sat straight up and held out her little hand to take the spoon. Together, we scooped up the applesauce and steered it into her mouth. After the first bite, she showed off a big grin, very proud to have been part of feeding herself. I don't think she took another bite of grilled cheese until we had scooped every last bite of that applesauce out.

My sweet baby girl.

When we had finished dinner and it was time to leave, I stood up and got my purse and the diaper bag and went around to the other side of the highchair to undo the straps. Miss G thought I was leaving without her and immediately started fussing and reaching for me saying "Mama!! Mama!!" I got her out of her highchair and when I picked her up, she immediately kissed my cheek, as she's in a big giving kisses phase, then wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head down on my shoulder for a snuggle.

Ahhhhh, there she is....my sweet baby girl.

My boy is the sweetest.

No, seriously. He is.

Yesterday I had a RAGING headache. I don't get headaches. I had also been up pretty late the night before not feeling well. You know when you feel like you could be sick but you're not sure? That was me. Since I work with kids, the last thing I wanted to do was get them sick, so I cancelled my day. My in-laws graciously offered to keep the kids for a little while so that I could rest, but I chose to run an errand I'd been putting off instead while I could do it alone. One of those things that just felt better to cross off my list, I suppose.

Anyway, I came back to pick them up and then knew I *had* to lay down when G took her nap or I'd be in big trouble later. So, for the first time in probably a year, I attempted to take a nap when my daughter slept.

You know, you always hear that as great advice when you are a new mom. "Sleep when the baby sleeps," people will tell you. Maybe (okay, most likely) I'm an odd duck but I just could never do that. I'd either get caught up in housework, or reading, or something -- I just couldn't relax enough to sleep, I guess. Plus, when you have another child, it's that much harder.

In any case, I decided that I must nap yesterday so after I put Georgia down, I told Mitchell that I needed to lay down, too. He knew I didn't feel well and I guess he was more concerned about me than I realized. Instead of taking that chance to run around like a crazy man, he chose to instead, follow me into my room and climb in bed with me. I almost immediately fell asleep because I was just so in need of rest, but I do remember him saying "I'll be right back, Mommy."

Do you know what that absolutely precious boy did for his Mommy?

He got two stuffed animals and his two favorite bedtime books and brought them to me. He gave me the animals one at a time and sort of tucked me around them, and them around me and instructed me to snuggle with them so that I could feel better. He then announced that he would be reading to me. I wish I could say that I clearly remember him reading those books because I'm sure it was the sweetest thing ever, but I was snoozing away.

I just remember randomly waking up throughout that two hours and he would be sitting by me or in my room playing trains on the floor and when I'd look at him, he'd come over and give me a kiss and ask if I was okay. Then he'd tuck the animals back in around me.

*sigh*

My prayer is that he never loses that desire to care for the people he loves and that he does it without hesitation and with all of his heart. I don't know at what age children usually start to lose that quality -- the innocent ways in which they go about their lives, but I hope that at least some of it stays forever.

Yesterday was one of those days where I wasn't just proud to be a Mommy. I was exceptionally grateful to be his Mommy.

My little Doodlebug -- there's only one.