Tuesday, August 14, 2007


I'm slowly figuring some things out.

(By the way, is it possible that this is the "30's" thing I've always heard about? Where your 30's are all about finally becoming YOU and figuring out who that is?)

Prioritizing...I can do that. That's what I've always thought about myself, but I'm finding out that maybe that's not exactly as true as I've led myself to believe.

If I'm so adept at prioritizing, then why have I *consistently* knocked taking care of myself to the bottom rung of the ladder? As in, when life gets stressful, it's the first thing to go?

When I'm pressed for time, do I say no to playdates? No, but my workouts are the first thing to go.

When I'm emotionally drained, do I stop answering the phone or listening to my friends when they are having problems of their own? No, and instead of turning to people - I many times turn to food (and don't realize it half the time.)

When I'm stressed out, do I back away from commitments for a short time? No, but my own Bible study and personal reading gets shoved aside.

Stuff like that. Why is that? I'm working on the answer and hoping to change some things.

I guess for me, it's like anything else in life. I'm still searching for some balance...giving of myself to others generously without giving so much that there's nothing left in the tank for me at the end of the day. Or the beginning of the day. Or the middle. I do often find time for myself in the middle of the night though -- you know, when I can't sleep because I'm so stressed out. Ha!

Oh, and the key? Losing the guilt. I'm big. Big. On self-induced guilt. I need to just build a bridge and get over it.

This is definitely something I'm beginning to pray about and I'm trying to build some concrete things into my life and daily routine to help me along. It's a very daunting task.


Michelle said...

I stumbled upon your blog and I totally agree with you on our priorities. We tend to reflect more now that we are mothers. Keep the faith!

Jamie said...

(((huge hugs))) Tara. It is because you are such a selfless person. I totally agree that you need to make time for you a high priority.

Renee said...

I love how open and real you are on your blog. You are such a genuine person...you just can't hide it!! I definitely agree that you need and deserve time for Tara. We have to recharge OUR batteries before we can start to give to someone else. And you give more than most people. :)

Tara said...

Thanks, girls. I don't want it to seem like I don't want to have time for other people, it's just that I'm starting to figure out that one of the very best things I can do for my family is to take good care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually and to not TOTALLY give myself the shaft anymore. :) Thanks for the support!!!