Monday, November 19, 2007

Walking...

My sweet, sweet hubby has been so wonderful to make sure that I get some time to myself on the weekends -- and I usually go for a walk. It's nice not to have to push the stroller, stop to dish out snacks, put jackets on, take them off, pick up sippy cups that have rolled under the stroller, etc. I also don't have to stop at the park for a wiggle break. I can just strap on my iPod and start walking. I get to keep walking until I want to stop.

I'm always surprised by the flood of thoughts and ideas that I experience -- they don't seem to make their way out of their little brain jail until I'm alone and just walking. Maybe it's because I'm always too preoccupied, or too focused on other things and other people in every other situation. Maybe it's because I don't take the time to just breathe. To just focus on me and the things that have been building up -- thoughts, emotions and ideas come in a steady stream as I walk.

Stress.
Anxiety.
Praise.
Joy.
Worry.
Fear.

It all seems to come out when I'm walking by myself. I was thinking about this yesterday as I was trucking along -- and it's like my walks become one big prayer. Sometimes I pray out loud, sometimes I pray silently, and sometimes I let the music I'm listening to guide my prayers. I pray for myself, I pray for my family, and I pray for countless others that are on my heart and in my mind.

I always thought that I liked to walk by myself because I didn't have to deal with the exercise-hindering issues that come with kids and strollers, but yesterday I realized that I like to walk by myself because it's such a huge release. You'd think it would have been more obvious, but for some reason it wasn't. Yesterday as I left, both of my (sick) kiddos were pretty much melting down at the fact that Mommy was walking without them. They were both throwing pretty sizeable tantrums, which of course, made me feel guilty for leaving my husband alone to deal with it. Instead of being annoyed, he said "Honey, GO. I got it. We'll be fine -- just go do your thing."

So, with a big sigh and a somewhat reluctant stride, I made my way down the sidewalk and away from the house. As I got about a block away, I called home and asked him if he was sure he wanted me to go. He just laughed (above the screaming in the background) and said that it was fine and the only thing that would make him upset is if I came home. With that reassurance, I set out on my way.

Obviously, my thoughts and prayers started there, at home, and as I prayed, I was aware of the fact that I was physically walking away from the stress and into my own little world. I wasn't going to work, not to the grocery store, not running errands, not volunteering at school -- I was going to be alone with myself, my thoughts, and my desire to improve my life.

What a gift.

12 comments:

Kristen said...

It is a gift! I feel the same way when I can get on a walk or run by myself. It is amazing where your mind goes and what a release it is - it is such good therapy for me. I always feel refreshed. I need to do it more often. I am glad you are getting the time to do it - makes everything so much better when you get that time :o)

BethAnne said...

What a great husband to recognize your need for alone time. Sorry the kiddos are sick. I pray they are better soon!

BethAnne said...

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I loved your 7 random things list. I would love to see you doing the 'Tara shuffle' sometime......maybe you should video it and put it on the blog. :-)

Just Another Day In Paradise said...

what a great husband! I love to walk by myself sometimes too. I find it's a great time to praise God. I might look a little funny going down the road with my hands raised up but oh well....

Alana said...

Alone time is the best! Just a little time can be so rejuvenating. Glad you were able to get away. Kudos to your hubby for making your go!

Rebekah said...

I experience the same thing as you when I walk. I have always liked to take walks, even as a teenager. I dont mind taking the little-ns with me but I enjoy just "me" and my iPod. (thank God for iPods)
When I get real stressed, a walk always relaxes me. Hmmm, I want to go take a walk now but I can't leave work. sigh

Mari said...

Your husband sounds like such a great guy. Good for you though, for going out and wlaking. I have found it's a good time to pray too, and should really be more consistant in doing it!

I'm Sadie said...

What a good guy he is! I am glad you are able to get out and think. You deserve it!

Denise said...

"the little brain jail" amen! when i walk it as if all those thoughts come out shouting, "free at last, free at last."
i love to walk for the same reasons.
it is worship. taking the focus off me, putting it back on God (it's why i wish i were a runner).
i need to be intentional about doing it more (unfortunately we live in the boonies and it is too curvy by my casa to walk, i have to drive to my walking place- the treadmill doesn't quiet fill the need).
When i walk i try to p.r.a.y. (praise, repent, ask for others, yourself)
instead of yarp (which is pray backwards)
yep, i can be a yarper.

btw- your hubby sounds like a wonderful guy (like mine).

Earen said...

It's a gift for sure!! Glad you got that time!

shelley said...

A walk, alone, sounds like heaven to me.

In answer to your question about what I got at Kohls...I was actually there to exchange a shirt for my son for a bigger size, and I had a $10 gift card thingy that they sent me in the mail, that was about to expire. So I bought 2 sets of ear warmers for my girls for Christmas, and then I forgot to use the gift card thingy, and by the time I remembered (on my eventful trip to Tulsa) it was expired! Arraghh!

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

What a man. It's amazing what a walk alone will do! In fact, I'm headed out the door to do just that!

Hope your children are feeling better!

Blessings!
stephanie