Friday, September 22, 2006

I'm freakin' HOT when I don't shower -- as in SEXY-REXY

Yes, that's right -- you heard it here first. *I* am QUITE the hot little potato when I'm lacking in the personal hygeine arena.

What? You need an explanation? You don't believe this? You think that this is odd blogging?

Blame my husband.

See -- yesterday the kids and I had one of our very rare never leave the house except to check the mail days. (Truth be told -- the ONLY reason we got out of our pajamas was to check the mail and I came *this* close to saying skip it -- but I was waiting for some ebay stuff to come, so my curiosity got the better of me.) Actually, poor Georgia never did make it out of her jam-jams.

Anyway -- here's me -- quite a vision:
*Leftover smudgey eye makeup from the day before
*Hair in a bun with a red visor
*One of Chris' really old and huge Structure sweatshirts
*Big (as in I lost weight - yay - so they don't fit too well anymore) red track pants
*My big, pink, fuzzy slippers

The kids were in bed, and I was in the kitchen washing dishes (for like the 3rd time that day -- I baked brownies, made baby food and made homemade chicken noodle soup so there were LOTS of them) when Chris got home from work. So, we're playing catch-up on each other's days and he's giving me "that" look while I'm telling him a story.

You know when you can tell someone's listening but they're not really *engaged* in what you're saying and they are dying to make a sexually-oriented comment as soon as you stop talking? *THAT* was the look I'm meaning.

So I'm getting "that" look and when I finish my sentence, sure enough he says "Can I just tell you how SEXY you look right now? Seriously. You look hot."

Excuse me while I pee my pants laughing.

Wait. Wait just a second. What the heck?!?

Why is it that EVERY time I skip the shower, skip the makeup, skip doing my hair, THAT'S when I get "that" look and "those" comments? Why bother? So, I decide to ask.

I say "Do you realize that every time I don't shower, *that's* when you think I'm hot?"

At this point -- Chris decides that this is probably blog-worthy discussion and asks if he'll be reading about it soon. Is that too funny? I said "Sure, I'll blog on it." He tells me (while he tries to pull some mack-daddy neck kissing at the sink) that he just thinks I look so cute and he can't help it.

So, in thinking more about it today, I have sort of figured out what the deal is. Here's my best thinking on the subject...

He loves it (and I mean LOVES it) when I get all dressed up, pantyhose, heels (no accident that I first typed "hells" for those, by the way) and the whole 9 yards. I think that's a given. When I do my hair, put on makeup, go all out with the clothes, he definitely notices and compliments me.

He thinks I'm cute in my "school marm" (his term) outfits. Cute, charming and very snuggly are words I'm guessing he'd use. That's when I usually get the "I just want to tackle you" for bear hugs comments.

I think instances like last night turn my hubby on because he has a MAJOR thing for the girl next door look. He thinks the mom (Jill) on Home Improvement is about as sexy as they come, for instance. I'm that girl. The visor was from Daytona (instant "schwing" potential), I was "fresh faced" to him -- icky faced to me, but this isn't about me. I think when he sees me in my sweats, it honestly reminds him of the "girly" part of me -- the cute little teeny-bopper he first fell in love with (before he admitted to himself and the world that he did) so many years ago. I think that for my husband, just being me, just being a carefree, comfortable woman is what *really* turns him on. Cute = sexy in this house. Actually, that's how Georgia got to be here, a simple haircut and the rest is history in that department.

Here's the thing -- I'm COMPLETELY the opposite, and am borderline mean about it sometimes. If he's been working in the yard or has had a long day and wants big ol' snuggles and kisses, I'll hug but like the stiff Aunt Martha who you REALLY don't want to be hugging you hugs. And he knows it. And I'll *tell* him..."Ugh, you need to SHOWER!"

Aren't I so rude?

You know there were a few times when we were dating that I seriously made him take a shower before coming to bed because he'd been around smoke and stuff. If I could smell it, I'd throw a huge fit until he showered.

And then there's him. In the grateful, appreciative, complimentary, lovey-dovey category, no contest. He kicks my butt - no question. Now don't get me wrong, he hears a lot about how cute he is, how I think he's hot, and there are NO lingering questions in his mind about how I feel about his butt. (Love it!!) But he is WAY sweeter than I am.

Guess I should count my blessings that showers are optional, huh? Too bad the rest of the world doesn't view me in the same light. I'd be the hottest stinky woman this side of the Mississippi!

Thanks for loving me for me, honey!!

1 comment:

Jamie said...

I think it is because we don't smell like boys do. I totally agree with you on this one. T will kiss me first thing in the morning and I'll be thinking, "Eww, brush your teeth."