Not a fan...

of being sick. Seriously -- it just sucks. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm keeping my perspective. I don't have a serious illness, it's not life threatening...it's just a cold. But it sucks.

It's the kind of cold where your throat is raw, you have back of the throat drainage, a cough that uses your entire chest and body/head aches. Doesn't that sound FANTASTIC???

I think the hardest part is to not lose my patience at home. I find myself being snippy faster -- I've apologized my fair share of times to Mitchell today. I think I'm just so ready to be laid out on the couch instead of chasing him around and everything that comes with a 3 month old girl. (How did THAT happen, by the way???)

Anyway - -I'm off to couch land. Just had to whine first. I hate being sick. I wished it hated me enough to leave me alone!!

Run, Run, Run

How do I manage to get so busy? I swear -- my life is just passing me by and I'm too busy to realize it. I blink and it's Wednesday. Blink again and it's Mid-May. What in the world?? Wasn't it just February? Wasn't it just Saturday? I can't keep up.

I always end up filling my calendar and then wishing I hadn't but it's a double-edged sword. I have many people I enjoy spending time with and that the kids enjoy seeing. In order to see them, you have to actually make an effort and get together. Then, there's M's school, there's my clients, family obligations on the weekends, working for my mom, running errands, MOPS, etc. It's just crazy. There seem to be a lot more showers, weddings, birthdays, reunions, parties, etc. this year than before. Maybe it's just that I'm more in tune with how hectic the pace of my life has become but I don't know.

I think it's a good problem to have -- better to be busy and active and stimulated (especially for the kids) than to be sitting around bored with nowhere to go, no one to see and nothing to do. I do cherish quiet days though and they seem to be few and far between these days. I think the key is to make a huge effort to slow down when I know I need to -- the hard part is saying no to things. That's really hard for me.

Okay, off to do laundry before I go to my mom's to work. Oh, and I need to make a list of what to pack for our weekend trip and....

hee hee

Feeling really blessed...

Ever feel like you're starting to get yourself into a little funk? Here I was feeling all sorry for myself because I've been tired, Mitchell was a pill yesterday, Georgia couldn't make up her mind about eating/sleeping/etc. yesterday, Chris has been working long hours again making me a pretty much single mom M-F, and I am now having trouble pumping milk again. Plus, I started seeing clients again and am trading daycare with my neighbor, so basically two and more likely three mornings will be taken up and now I have that stress to deal with.

I tell ya though, all it takes is watching the news to remind me of how EXTREMELY fortunate and blessed I am. That did it for me last night.

I mean, first of all -- I'm an American. The freedom and priveleges that come with being a citizen here are pretty much taken for granted on a daily basis. I'm also married to the most wonderful man - - he really is my soul mate and about as close to perfect a match as I could ever hope for. I may not be sure of much, but I am certain that he loves me at least as much as I love him. My children are two of the most beautiful, sweet, cuddly kids on the planet, and for whatever reason, I was chosen to raise them. Just being their mom is enough for me on most days -- except days like yesterday when I'm arrogant enough to be "blue" about piddly little things. My family is amazing, so is my husband's -- you know, I'd say 75% of the stress and drama we have with them is because people want to spend more time with us and our kids, or be involved in our lives in some way. (Why is that something that becomes stressful?) We own a nice home (nicer than I give it credit for), we have two nice cars, clothes for ourselves and our kids, more than enough food to eat, health insurance, and not much -- but a little money in the bank for a rainy day.

What in the world was I so upset about yesterday? Really -- it's embarrasing when I let myself get like that.

I was just watching the news.

Tub of goo...

That's me! And my stomach. And my thighs. And my rear end. And...

UGH. I FEEL SO FLIPPIN' FAT!!!!!!

I think I'd feel big anyway, but the fact that I lost 30 pounds (or so) before I got pregnant is not helping anything. My clothes were the smallest I'd worn in YEARS and now I can only fit into what were then my "fat" clothes.

I know baby weight is something, but I only have myself to blame. I have this enormous jelly-belly pooch after Georgia's birth and do you think I've done even ONE situp yet? No. 10 weeks and counting -- ugh. (again) I have made an effort to walk, but other than, no workouts of any kind from this sad sack of fatty tissue. Also -- I haven't been eating the best. I have had a MAJOR sweet tooth for some reason, which is strange since I am usually more of a muncher on salty/snacky things. This whole breastfeeding thing also has stimulated my apptetite like CRAZY!!! I am ALWAYS hungry -- ALL THE TIME. Makes it hard not to eat.

This week - I plan to tackle the food issue. Just healthy snacks. I will let myself eat as much and as often as I want to, but only healthy stuff. I'm the start of my own problem in that regard, so I may as well be the solution as well.

Also -- I want to try and work out twice this week. I feel like that's realistic. Do a tape, lift some light arm weights, do some lunges, etc. Hopefully I can make that happen.

I'm just so sick of nothing fitting right, nothing feeling good when I put it on, my thighs meeting again each time I walk. :( Wish me luck -- I'm ready to lose this weight.