Buried.

Okay, for starters... I have sort of gotten myself into a rut. Okay, not sort of. I just have.

I'm sick.
The kids are sick.
I'm tired.
I'm pregnant.
I just don't have time.
Repeat.

The above has been my mantra for the last oh -- three weeks or so. For everything under the sun.

Cleaning? Mantra.
Time in The Word? Mantra.
Exercise? Mantra.
Fun stuff with the kids? Mantra.

Okay - now I *will* cut myself a little bit of slack. I have been sick. The kids have been sick. I am most certainly pregnant. I don't know if I've EVER been this tired in all my life. True. All true.

But.

I can make a good mantra. I can get myself out of this "buried" condition. A month or two ago I was happier than I'd been in quite some time. I was eating fantastically. I was spending time in The Word each and every day and loving it. I was participating in two Bible studies regularly. I was working out several times a week.

Now -- not so much. For any of it. *sigh*

I do, honestly - feel buried. Under the blahs. Under life.

But I can get out. I know I can. And I will. So, no worries.

Okay - so speaking of buried. Here's that post I mentioned like a month ago that has been knocking around inside of my brain. Ironically, it's about things being buried, too.

Alot of our stuff is in storage right now. Obviously, not things that we use every day or on a somewhat regular basis. Most of the stuff are things that we want to use again in the new house (wherever that may be) -- train table, formal serving dishes, our overstuffed rocker recliner, etc.

Well, when we went to get our stuff out for the holidays (ALLLLL of our Christmas decorations were in there), I was struck by how buried it all was. How boxes and boxes of other "stuff" made getting to what we were actually looking for so very difficult. We had to wade through very tiny walkways, stand on desks, etc. to make sure that the box at the very bottom of the back pile was indeed Christmas stuff.

Then, once we got all of the things out that we needed, we had to put the rest of the boxes and items back in...only they didn't fit the same way. There were gaps and holes where the things we'd taken out had once been. Now some boxes stacked akwardly. Some furniture had to be rearranged again. Things like that.

It just struck me as we drove away how similar that is to my own heart and the "junk" I have stored in there. Sometimes in order to dig deep and get to the things that I really need to have and deal with right now, I have to unpack some other things that I didn't even know were jumbled up in there. I guess the thing that jumped out to me is that so many times, I have things buried in my heart and half the time, the things I have to deal with in order to find what I'm looking for I thought I'd dealt with long ago.

Here is where I'd usually elaborate, but it's taken me two attempts to get THIS much written down so I'll stop here. I'm 12 weeks along now and am off to the OB's office in a few hours for my 2nd appointment. I'll keep you posted.

A sincere thank you for all of the love and "where are you" check ups. I'm here. I'm tired. I'm fine.

I'm buried, but digging out.