Being censored...

SUCKS.

When you have a lot (and I mean a truckload) of things you want to say to someone, that you REALLY feel like they need to hear, but someone else tells you not to say them, because in their opinion it would make a situation even worse...

That SUCKS.

Yes, I am being censored against my will. It is NOT easy and I also have to figure out how to not be a complete jerk to said people next time I'm in their company. Hmmmm. I'm guessing not talk at all -- which will still be me being a jerk, but at least I'll keep my trap shut.

Let's just say if I bit my tongue any harder, it would be in two pieces. You know when Yosemite Sam gets really mad and turns red and starts hopping around and steam comes out of his ears?

Yeah...it's like that.

Creative outlets...

I need them. Badly.

Right now, my only creativity comes in cooking and I'm not even really being all that daring. I mean, I got SO excited that someone passed along a recipe for the crockpot that involved 3 ingredients -- one from a can and one from a package. Sad, isn't it?

Thank goodness for the good ol' Blog, but honestly, how creative have I really been? As my friend Renee said, you go to write in the blog and it's like "The house is dirty, the kids are cranky, I don't know what to make for dinner, the laundry is piled to the ceiling and I want a nap."

In case (I seriously doubt this is an issue) there is anyone who ever is disappointed that I've skipped a day of blogging, just know that that's what it would say had I taken the time to type it out. Kind of like when people go on vacation from work and their email will autoreply with "I'm out of the office until Oct. 29th", mine would say my little dirty house, crying kids, dinner TBD, too much laundry and exhaustion speech. You're seriously not missing anything.

The thing is, I consider myself to be a creative kinda person. How sad is it that the most fun creative artsy-fartsy thing I've done in the past month is make a nametag for myself at my MOPS group? Seriously. That's just sad.

I have a humongous rolling thing of scrapbook stuff in the basement. I really WANT to do it, I just can't face the getting it out, putting it away routine. A little secret -- one of my really, really big want a bigger house reasons is to get a scrapping space. A little corner of a room all to myself. I can't WAIT for that.

Until then, I'll just blog. About the same old stuff. And call it creative.

As my hubby would say, "Well, whooopedeee Dooooooooooo."
(The Wedding Singer was on this weekend. Of course we watched it again. I won't apologize.)

Helpless...

Ya ever feel helpless?

Like when your hubby has 90 bijillion things going on at work and you can't help him do them?

Or when someone you know is in the crappiest relationship and you just have to sit back and watch them get pooed on and be there for them?

Or when someone you care about is in physical pain and there's now way around it?

Or when people make other people feel like crap and then buddy up again when they need something? And you want to say something but the crapee doesn't want you to?

Or when both of your kids have double ear infections and fevers?

Stuff like that makes me feel helpless.

Vacation

My husband and I are trying to decide where to go for our anniversary in February. It's a kid-free trip and for a long weekend. It's our 5th anniversary and we're both really looking forward to it.

If only we could decide where to go and what to do.

Actually, I think we've decided what we want to do -- a whole lot of nothing. Well, maybe with a whole lot of "something" thrown in -- *wink, wink*.

The thing is, we don't travel much. Our family is here, and the ones that aren't here are only an 8 hour car trip away. We get there and stay for free with them.

We're out of the whole "a vacation is expensive" ball game. We've just started pricing our trip and while I know it's probably very reasonable for people that are used to it, we are like "WHAT?!" We can and will pay the money - it's just a little hard to swallow when your big expense is a $300 trip to Sam's Club once a month.

I think we're going to end up in Las Vegas -- we want to just sit. And eat. And have some "adult beverages". And shop if we want to. And lay around. And talk. And sleep. And laugh. And that "whole lot of something". And sit in the hot tub. And order pay-per-view. And maybe gamble a little -- but not much. And sleep. (I think we're both looking forward to the laying around and sleeping the most.)

What better place to do that than Vegas? The people watching (one of our favorite sports) is awesome, the food is awesome, the pools are awesome, and you can walk or lie down all day without a problem. If we feel like going somewhere at 3am, we can. We've always gone with other people so it will be fun to set our own agenda -- or have a complete lack of one.

Anyway -- if we can just realize that we're like the only people on the planet who can't believe how expensive everything is, we'll be fine. We are old fuddy-duddies looking to bust out of that mold for awhile.

Colds. Suck.

Both of my kids have one.

We were in the car for 18 hours this weekend.

Need I say more?

Thirtysomething...

Okay, so your 20's are your carefree years where, though you are a full-fledged adult, you can get away with pretty much anything. Yes, you're expected to have a job, but pretty much any job can shut people up because you'll be said to be "finding yourself". You are expected to still party too much and do semi-crazy things with your also unattached, carefree 20-something friends. You can rent instead of own and no one will hound you about when you're going to buy a house. You can remain single and no one really gives ya grief before the big 3-0. If you're married, you can really get by for quite awhile without having people asking when you plan to have kids. (Disclaimer on that last part: this is what I hear and not based on personal experience -- I myself didn't test that theory beyond a time span of 3 weeks post-vows while being 28, which is dangerously near 30.)

Looking back, I had some SERIOUSLY fun 20's. A little rough patch in the middle that I'd like to just pretend was someone else's completely moronic series of life decisions, but other than that (like how I actually did just pretend it never happened?), fun and full of accomplishments. I made some of the best friends I know I'll ever have -- and have forever. I found love, lost love, found love again, and went to some really fun places. Might I also add -- I will forever maintain that I was as smart as I'll ever be -- the end of my grad school experience had my brain at full capacity -- there will never be that much USEFUL information swimming around in there again.

I was a typical 20-something woman -- enjoying life to the fullest and COMPLETELY unaware of how good life was. Funny how you don't TRULY appreciate something until it's past. Maybe it's just me, but that seems to be my pattern. I think I appreciate it, but then looking back on things, I find that I didn't appreciate something nearly as much as I do later on.

Okay -- so moving onto the 30's. People start expecting all this stuff. Like stability and responsibility. You pull a stupid move in your 20's and you get excused -- "Hey, she's young. She'll learn." You pull that same move in your 30's and suddenly you're an idiot. Being single in your 30's takes things to another level both for yourself and those around you from what a few of my friends have told me. You put more pressure on yourself and other people around you definitely don't cut you much slack. If you're married and past the age of 30, you better have a date circled on the calendar for when you plan to start "trying" -- this is especially important for the future grandparents. If you'd like to maintain any other avenue of conversation, I suggest leading off with that information at dinner parties and family celebrations. (Again, refer to earlier disclaimer.)

As a 30-something woman now, I say that life is still good but Good Lord I long for my carefree 20-something days every now and then.

Like this morning when I had to wake up at 5:45. For work? No, no, no.

My minivan needed to go to the shop.

Okay -- seriously. My carefree 20-something self never saw this one coming.

I had to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to make sure that the DVD player in my freakin' minivan can get repaired before we go on a road trip, toting two pajama-wearing kids in parkas with me and depositing a suit wearing husband off downtown afterwards. (By the way, he looks super cute when he wears his Bronco hat with his suit. Wouldn't think it would work like that, but it so does.)

I guess there are pros and cons to every age, but man -- sometimes when I think about my life and the things I do every day, I realize that I really *AM* a thirty-something mom of two kids who drives a minivan and is worried about things like private school and retirement.

So depressing. Sort of. Not really. Just weird, I guess.

Don't blink...

No "might" here -- you WILL miss something.

Overnight these little people grow and change. They are subtle changes and if you're not watching or listening closely, you will indeed miss it and be left wondering when it happened.

Some examples...

Tonight, for the first time, when I asked him to choose "In Between The Lions" or "Sesame Street" for his bedtime cd, he answered "Sesame Street". Why is this unusual? Because up until today it's been "Seh-me Street". When did he add the "suh" syllable in the middle? Not sure. To make myself feel better, I'm going with tonight.

This afternoon, after a month or two of modeling it for her, Georgia touched (like a light clap) her hands together when I had her do "more" for getting more tickles from Grandma. She did it over and over and it was more than evident that she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. Again, today -- first time.

Earlier in the week, my little boy who even the prior week was a blubbering mess during drop off at preschool, told me "I am going into my classroom ALL BY MYSELF today, Mommy. You stay here with Georgia, okay?" (I did let him know that I'd first need to escort him across the parking lot.) Why is it that last week his tears annoyed me and this week I'm the one in tears because it appears I am on the verge of annoying him?

Georgia has developed a new game. It's called the "Ahhh-yell" game. Basically it consists of her and another willing participant to exhange yellish "Ahhhs". She's quite good at it and I've become accustomed to playing each day. My mom asked me when that started -- I have no idea. Another subtle change -- snuck up on me.

Mitchell can now dress and undress himself completely, except for socks and shoes. This is HUGE for us, but if I had to nail down exactly when he mastered this skill, I'd be guessing. I was watching, just not really WATCHING.

Georgia is able to drink from a sippy cup, but prefers drinking ice water from a big person's glass. It's one of her very favorite things to do each day. When did she start this? Hmmmm...

One eye on the kids, the other one on the calendar, people. That's the name of the game.

I forgot...

How much I *hate* political campaign commercial season.

They are SOOOOOO annoying.

It totally irritates me that they spend more of their money telling you why you *shouldn't* vote for the other person than they do telling you why you *should* vote for them. What kind of sense does that make?

That would be like my husband asking me what was for dinner and me spending 5 minutes telling him all of the things that we're NOT having for dinner. Or if I went to a store and asked how much a jacket cost and they proceeded to tell me how much a pair of pants, shoes, shirt, etc. cost.

Tell us about yourselves, people!! But here's the catch -- these days in my state, it's dangerous to make a commercial about yourself because your opponent will surely use it, edit it, crop it, and use it AGAINST you in their mudslinging ad about why people shouldn't vote for you.

On the positive side, some of them have at least been slightly amusing this year. Hard to tell since I change the channel so quickly.