Frustrating...

I'm kind of frustrated right now.

I'm frustrated at certain members of my family for not treating each other with more love and respect.

I'm frustrated at myself because when I'm tired and grumpy, I'm less patient with my own kids.

I'm frustrated with finances. All I want to say on that.

I'm frustrated with wanting more than I have because I really should be much more appreciative of what I already have instead of focusing on what I want and *think* we "need".

I'm frustrated with this world -- it's becoming more and more difficult to just live your own life with a smile every day. People are hateful and sick -- not all people, but enough of them to make you question many people who don't deserve it.

I'm frustrated in general. It will pass. I think this is a function of me being up since 2:30 this morning. A nap would likely help. A lot.

A trip to Sam's...

So, this will be lacking in direction and probably a snoozefest -- there's your chance to avoid a waste of a few minutes.

I took Mitchell to Sam's Club yesterday while Chris stayed home with Georgia. Armed with a juice box, two snacks and a lollipop, I was fearless in my attempt to go to the craziest store with a 3 year old at tantrum o'clock. (This is what I call his old naptime -- he usually doesn't nap anymroe but he can still throw a doozy of a tantrum and this is usually when it happens.) I think I got so excited at the chance to take just one child as opposed to two that I jumped in with both feet and didn't stop to think about how it *could* go. If you've ever attempted Sam's on a Sunday with children of any age -- you know it has the potential to play out like a horror film, a sitcom, or a drama. Very rarely is it a documentary.

I was listening to a cd on the way there and Mitchell had his new plane that Chris bought him at the train show on Saturday (I know -- go for trains, come home with a plane -- it's a guy thing, apparently) and all was well on the drive over. I should have been suspicious when my choice of cd -- not silly time cd-- was not met with complaints, but I just let John Mayer sing to me and didn't think twice about it. That is, until I opened the back door to get Mitchell out and saw that he was ASLEEP!!!

Oh, crap.

This is like the ultimate blow to my Sam's Club shopping hopes. I gently woke him up and told him we were at the store. He perked right up (unheard of!) and got into the cart without a problem -- so far, so good. (Amazingly.) I start to question my parking spot -- next to the cart catcher spot...will a closer spot lead to a ding or dent that I'll have to explain to my husband? "But Honey...it was like I was SUPPOSED to park there -- right in front and waiting for me!" I can hear him now "Yeah, because everyone else knows better than to park right next to the cart catcher!! Why do you think it was available??" I picture my half-hearted "Oops" as my only reply as Mitchell and I steer ourselves into the store, flash my card, and BAM. Instant panic set in as I looked up.

Oh, crap.

There were more people in that store than I think live in my entire zip code -- and we're getting crowded over here. I've NEVER seen it that busy. Ever. Not good with a tired three year old who's mantra is now "I can walk, Mommy." Yeah, right. You haven't walked since you learned how to run. So, I do the "good mom" thing (ha) and whip out some raisins. "RAISINS!!! Hooray!!" Score. Bought myself a few minutes with those.

*sigh of relief*

It's sample day! Not excited for me -- well, unless there's ice cream or cheesecake today -- but that builds in the element of surprise for Mitchell in ol' snackville. (I'm convinced that's why he likes going there.) We made our way around the store -- avoided carts like a pro, Mitchell scored a few samples (my hopes were dashed -- roast beef was the highlight), and then BAM! The panic came back in a giant wave. We had to wait in line TO WAIT IN LINE.

Oh, crap.

Seriously -- the chutes (I feel like I'm part of a cattle herd, so I refer to them not as lines, but as chutes) were backed up so far that we were like 4 people back just to turn the freakin' corner to get in line. Isn't that crazy??? At this point I start questioning the sanity of my shopping choice for both day and time.

I know I'm not alone in saying that no matter which chute I choose, it will inevitably end up being the slowest. It's like my presence shifts the planets and titlts everything away from me or something. I just picked a line and stood there -- confident, almost arrogant about my chute choice. Inside of two minutes and...

Yeah, baby!! We moved. Forward. Towards the register. Amazing.

Now, I know better than to get more excited than that at this point. The man in front of me only had two items, which is always scary -- those are the ones that usually end up screwing the whole thing up. He was extra scary, he had a computer of some sort. (And a bag of potatoes??)
That has some SERIOUS screw me up potential because of the price, help delivering some sort of desk to accompany his computer, etc. The possibilities are endless. As I'm pondering whether 2 Item Guy will be the downfall of my otherwise enjoyable trip to Sam's with my very well behaved little guy, an angel appears and my hope is renewed!

The lady with the little scan gun came to MY chute and began scanning the items of everyone's carts. I was 4th in line so I thought for sure she'd do 2 Item Guy's potatoes and then go do the first 3 people in the next chute. Nope. She actually came to me -- overflowing cart and all, scanning my items and offering a huge bonus -- entertainment for Mitchell. (By this time, his popcorn was eaten, the juice box was empty, and the novelty of the giant ceiling fans had worn off.) She even had to scoot our cart up twice while scanning us in. Nice! After she finished, another bonus revealed itself to Mitchell -- the little coin roller coaster for charity. You know where you put in a coin and it does the figure skating death spin (without a partner) before dropping into the hole...it was RIGHT next to us. As a reward for his wonderful behavior in the store, I did the unthinkable -- an entire dollar worth of quarters went in. (You may be unaware that I hoard quarters in my change purse. I don't know why, but I do. Then, when I feel like it's too bulky, I put them in the kids' piggy banks.)

Oh, crap.

2 Item Guy was at the register, and sure enough -- he and the register lady were having some sort of discussion about his computer. (I'm assuming it wasn't the potatoes.) Could it be??? The manager came over about 30 seconds later, found a button on the register and he immediately zipped his credit card through!!

SCORE!!!

We got up to the register as the last quarter was falling through the hole, and sure enough, all of the items were already in the computer. I didn't have to unload and reload my cart!! (I had halfway convinced myself that everything would have disappeared or something so I wouldn't be too disappointed when that was the case.) I paid and was out of there in about 2 minutes!

SCORE AGAIN!!!

I have to say -- this is honestly my first trip to Sam's Club (not alone or just with Chris) that was truly enjoyable and more along the "documentary" lines. I know it doesn't sound like an exciting event to many of you, but to me - - this was huge.

Now I'm worried about next time.

People really upset me...

Okay, fair warning -- I'm about to go off on a vent so skip it if that doesn't interest you.

WHY are people so rude?? Seriously.

This morning I had just dropped the kids off at my IL's house to go see a client and some idiot who was leaving a garage sale on their block pulls out and almost (I mean -- like inches) nails me right in the middle of my passenger door. Didn't even look! Just must have been thinking about what a TERRIFIC set of dishes they got for $2 or something, I guess. The thing is...

She honked AT ME!!!!

Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me???? I don't think so. Now -- two things stopped me, well 3, from getting out of my car and starting some crap. 1 -- I was in the 'hood. (Seriously, they live in a pretty sketchy neighborhood.) 2 -- I was late to see a client. 3 -- My kids need me alive.

Where does SHE get off honking AT ME??? I was just driving down the road (25 mph -- not like I was racing down the stree) minding my own business. SHE was parked on the side of the street, DIDN'T use a turn signal, and DIDN'T even THINK about looking in her mirror or over her shoulder before she came out into the road, but feels that I'M in the wrong??? Ohhhhh, no, no, no, no no. Pissed me right off.

Moving right along...

WHY are people so hateful???
This whole thing with the liquid bombs. COME ON...that is just some crazy crap. I cannot for the life of me imagine what it must be like inside of those people's heads to 1 -- think that crap up and 2 -- actually want to use it to kill innocent people. I mean, it's not like you're killing soldiers and politicians. Ugh. Hate. Sucks. Bad.

What kind of environment are these people raised in and breeding? You know -- I heard this morning that one of the people is a mother of a 6 month old child. Okay -- that hit home. THAT'S ME, for crying out loud. Can you even picture me leaving my home, my children, and saying -- okay, I'm off to blow up a plane of innocent people with something I'm masquerading as Powerade???

WHAT THE HECK, PEOPLE????!!!!!!

It just makes me so angry. And you know what else? It makes me really, really sad for my kids. Times like this are times that a part of me actually feels somewhat guilty for bringing them into a world where this is a reality. Someone is using Gatorade as a weapon, for all intents and purposes. That's super.

So, you know what I did last night? Mitchell and I made a cake. And we covered it with icing. And I drew a moon on it in yellow icing (he loves "Moonah"). And he covered it with sprinkles. And we laughed. And we had a "moon party" when Daddy got home. Just for fun. To remind me of WHY I have children and why it IS a good thing that I brought them into this world. My children will not be taught to HATE anyone.

Caffeine...

Is NOT my friend.

I met a friend (a real one) for coffee this morning and decided to be brave and get a caffeinated drink. It sounded REALLY good -- all minty and chocolatey -- two of my favorite things ever.

So NOT the smartest move I've ever made.

After coffee I went to Qdoba (yum, and more yum) to get lunch for my dad. It's his birthday and he's working all day. He can't leave at all, so I told him Georgia and I would bring some lunch down. He loves the chicken tacos there so I stopped to get some. I had to pick Mitchell up from school at 1pm and this was at about 11am. By the time I got her out, used the bathroom, ordered our food, got it all set in the car, drove down there, parked walked in, nursed her, let him hold/cuddle her for a few minutes, it was time to get in my car and drive back to school.

I got a naked (hee hee) burrito and for a minute, I seriously considered trying to eat it while driving. Um--yeah, probably smart move not to, considering it's rice and black beans. Well -- considering it's not GASOLINE, I'd probably be safe. (Husband story there -- you can infer away.)

So -- by the time I made it back to his school (a few minutes early) I think the coffee had eaten a hole in my stomach. I was ready to gnaw my own arm off and scarfed down most of my lunch in about 3 minutes.

Caffeine + Tara = Ouchie, hungry tummy

It sure was good though. Mmmmmmm.

Still not worth it, but dang close.

Faaaarrrrrrr from perfect.

That would be me.I try so hard to set a good example for my kids, and heck -- just to do some clean livin' for myself, but it's a challenge. Here's an example...

Last Sunday I was cleaning the kitchen and listening to my favorite Christian radio station. My hubby calls it "God Rock" and teases me about it -- I don't really care. (So neener, neener to YOU, hubby!!) I love listening because the songs put me in a good mood and a good frame of mind.

Well, I am cleaning away and he comes in to eat his breakfast. He chooses a bowl of cereal and eats it leaning against the counter while he talks to me. This song comes on that I just love and I say, "Hey -- listen to this song. It always makes me cry. I love it." He says, "Why do you love a song that makes you cry?" Of COURSE, I shush him loudly and tell him to just listen. He listens. Then he says "This SERIOUSLY makes you cry??" and rolls his eyes. He puts his dish in the sink and comes behind me to do a little snuggle and ear kissing. Okay -- TOTALLY not in the mood for that as I am trying to listen to my heart-string-tugging song. He thinks he's just too funny, so I turn around and tell him to quit being such an A-hole.

Yes, that's right. In the middle of a Christian song about flying to Jesus, I cuss at my husband.He starts cracking up and says something about "Only you would do that".

Yikes.

I think he may be right. I apologize to The Big Fella immediately and am just mortified. Know the scary thing? I probably wouldn't have even put it together if he hadn't pointed it out. Luckily G was asleep and M was in train hog heaven in his room, but STILL. Sheesh.He's right -- who DOES that sort of thing? I mean, besides me.

So...clearly, there's room for a little personal growth in my life. (I'm sure that's shocking to you, isn't it?)

As long as I'm on the subject of great Christian music that I love -- here is a new song that I really, really love. It makes me think of not only myself with some different things, but so many people in my life that are struggling with so many different things -- yet it fits us all.

It's by a band called Casting Crowns.

Praise You In This Storm
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”,
and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear
You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear
You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Picture people...

Not the place, US.

My family -- we're picture people. We take pictures all of the time -- no joke, I keep my camera in my purse and it's a rare day that it doesn't get used. One of my fave shows is AFV, btw -- it feeds my camera/video habit.

In preparation for my little scrapbook day today, it took me over 2 hours to go through all of the pictures just from Mitchell's birth to 1st birthday and choose the ones I wanted to print out!! It was so fun to look at all of them and remember all of the things that were going on. That's why I *love* scrapbooking -- you get to put it all together and recall all the stuff going on in the background and in the hearts and minds of those in the pictures. I get happy thinking about leaving such treasures for my family to enjoy (and they BETTER, dang it!!) long after I'm gone.

I got to thinking how sad I would be if I wasn't raised in a picture-happy family. My husband, for instance, does not have very many pictures of when he grew up. They have some, but not like ours. (Okay -- we're a bit insane on that point, but still.) I just feel like it's so fun and important to document the life we live. I know that Mitchell LOVES to look at pictures with me and it would be pretty sad if we didn't have all of them to remember.

I do need to get a bunch blown up, framed, etc. I think part of it is that I'm so OVER our house. I mean, I love it, but why am I gonna pour all this money into decorating it when I can't wait to get out? I think I'll save that as a pet project when we move.

Okay -- that was a pretty random topic, huh?

Do Fathers Have Identity Confusion, Too?

Okay -- so this week I've been reading on the birth boards I am part of, friends' blogs, friends of friends' blogs, and have listened to others as I talk to them (live and in person, even!). There's a pattern about women having identity confusion when they become mothers -- I've even blogged about it myself. So, my question is this:

Do men struggle the same way? My short answer is not so much.

I mean, go anywhere, talk to any mom, read her blog, etc. and you will hear that repeatedly she is faced with a completely overwhelming challenge: remembering who she was/is ASIDE from being a mom. Is this the case with men? Is it a huge challenge for them to remember who they were/are ASIDE from being a dad? Not in most cases, I think.

So many women get so completely engrossed in the whole "mom" world that they lose sight of what they used to enjoy. (And I guarantee you, it wasn't apple juice, goldfish crackers, and train time.) I know I struggle with that -- I LOVE to scrapbook and haven't done ONE page in over 2 years. It's so depressing!! I really, truly love it but there are several things getting in my way. Time, space, and the fact that I have to spread my stuff out, hope that little hands don't mess with all of it, and then clean it up again. I think I've put more of my creative energy into cooking lately, but still -- why have I given it up? Because the more our family grows and changes, the further down the priority list it goes. It wasn't until last week when I went to my friend's house that I realized how much I miss it and how much enjoyment I get out of it. She said that she makes it a priority and even takes her kids to daycare one day when she's tracked off to do it. (She teaches at a year-round school.)

What? You actually take time for YOU??? How DARE you!!!

Dang, Gina...that sounds like a GREAT idea!!!

So, guess what I'm doing this weekend? Chris is out of town on a guys' golf weekend (and not looking back, I'm sure) so I'm taking M all day and G for half a day (the boobs can only take so much) to my mom's house and I'm going to scrapbook ALL day!! I'm taking my friend's advice and only stopping to pee and eat/drink. Me. Alone. With my scrapbook stuff. I can't wait!! Today during "quiet time", I'm ordering copies of the pictures I want to use from Walgreens so I can be all set. I'm so excited.

For the record being "just a mom" is better than anything in the world. Except, of course, if you happen to be: Tara the 33 year old woman who is married to her best friend, loves a great cup of coffee (decaf), ice cream, laughing, watching sports, hates to dust, has more girlfriends than she probably deserves and loves every single one of them, is trying valiantly (ha!) to shed some pounds, drives a freakin' minivan for the good of the group, has a mad crush on Tim McGraw, can't handle margaritas like she used to, would love to have enough money to buy herself some really cute purses and shoes. Oh -- and she happens to be blessed with two little people that she can't even imagine loving any more -- except for when they call her "Mommy".

So -- what's the answer? Guys??? Oh wait -- this blog is a boy's worst nightmare -- none will ever read these words. Ladies, ask your men. :)

Addendum to part 2...

As my fine friend, Jamie has so clearly noted,

"The trains! What about the trains?"

Am I the biggest moron or WHAT??? I think perhaps I'm still numb from what we now refer to as "The Train Incident" at the museum.

Yes, yes...the trains. Trains don't make him happy -- that would be the understatement of the world. They make him a wee bit insane, but I mean that in the best possible way. (Hopefully someone out there knows what I mean.) Trains are the Holy Grail of this three year old's life -- in fact, a different train gets the privilege of sleeping on the nightstand every night. (Tonight it's Terence the Tractor, in case you're wondering.)

In a moment of nostalgia not long ago, I reread my blog entries and wouldn't you know it, Thomas the Tank engine was driving me crazy. Driving ME crazy because it makes him INSANELY happy. Like I expressed then, I know there will be a day when I will miss the Thomas obsession because it means I have a big boy whose list of happy things will be much, much different. (And likely much, much more disturbing to me as a mother.)

Okay - - I just felt that this needed its own little space.

Dang -- seriously!!! How in the WORLD could I not have listed the trains? Jamie -- get out the bike and run my butt over, would ya????

In case you're wondering (part 2)

Here is an abbreviated list of the things that make 3 year old boys (well, again -- this one at least) really happy:

*A baby sister that you can squeak at and poke and who thinks you're funny when you do the running man in just your NASCAR underwear.

*Any sort of processed food is golden. Grandparents are total jackpots for this sort of thing.

*Chocolate milk. 'Nuff said on that one.

*Motion. Jumping, running, hopping, rolling around, wrestling, crawling, bouncing, etc. Before I had kids I was unaware how short the period of time for "walking" was. I think he walked for about 2 weeks before he ran and hasn't walked again.

*Investigating. Why did that happen? What do you call this? What are you doing? Why do your legs jiggle? (Ya like that one??)

*Making a mess. Messy kid = successful day at work.

*Cartoons.

*Singing songs and listening to silly music. Recently making up songs about ANYTHING has become a favorite past time. "My spoon is goooiinnnngggg into my yooogurt. It's gonna beeeee soooooo yummy in myyyy tuuuuummmmyyyy."

*Being outside. Given the option, they would likely live outside and never return to anywhere with four walls.

*Unless there are popsicles and/or ice cream inside of those 4 walls. 3 year olds are known to do just about anything for a cold treat on a hot day. Or a cold day -- they don't usually discriminate.

*Repetition. Doing, saying, watching and hearing things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

*In direct contrast to things they don't like, 3 year old boys are quite fond of SAYING the word "no". It's frequently heard each and every day, sometimes as early as 6:30 a.m.

*Making demands: give me, let me, I want, let's go, you go, etc.

*Animals -- any kind, anywhere. Animals are definitely "in" with the 3 year old set.

*Hugs and kisses. Fortunately for a sappy mom, the 3 year old under this roof still enjoys cuddle time.

*Doing things independently. To the point of frustration. In some instances, will then turn on parents because they didn't help (even though they were clearly instructed NOT to help by the not-yet-frustrated 3 year old).

*Playing. Playing. Playing. Water is good -- anytime you can incorporate water into the play, it's a total bonus.

I could go on and on and on...in general, life with a 3 year old boy is messy, hilarious, frustrating, full of surprises, exhausting, exhilirating, and I wouldn't trade one second of the madness for all of the money in the world.

Well -- maybe the potty training ones I would. But that's a whole different Oprah.

In case you're wondering...

...here is a short list of things that drive three year old boys (errr---maybe just this one) crazy:

*The word "no" in any combination with "you may not", "we can't", "thank you", "he/she/they isn't/aren't".

*Finishing a meal -- any meal -- ever. UNLESS, you don't ask them to. Then they'll finish.

*Any vegetable on their plate. If it's on your plate, there's a much better chance of them asking for some.

*Naps. Laying down. Resting. Being quiet. Any of the above.

*Rules meant for safety. Like please don't jump from the 3rd stair. Please keep your hands away from the stove. Please don't put that blanket over your head and spin in circles near the sharp-cornered table. Things like that -- they are not so much fans of those.

*Lotion. Regular or sunscreen.

*Manners. (Okay, some of the time this is okay.)

*Tissues. Fingers are so much more readily available.

*Getting fingernails/toenails clipped. Don't EVEN get me started on this one.

*Coming in from outside. This is a biggie and requires lots of advanced warning.

*Taking a bath unless it's their idea.

*Turning the tv off or (God forbid) watching a show that they did not choose.

*Having their hair combed and teeth brushed -- yes, the pattern is grooming = not happening.

*Sharing -- this is hot and cold but pretty much not a fan of sharing fun stuff.

Just a sampling. Maybe tomorrow I'll do things that make 3 year old boys (or at least this one) exceptionally happy.

I am my own worst enemy...

I am a procrastinator -- I make myself late.

When I am late, I am cranky.

When I am cranky, my children are cranky.

That makes us even later because it's harder to get a little cooperation going.

When we're late other people get cranky.

All because I'm a procrastinator.

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I would love to lose weight.

That would mean not loving food.

--Let me clarify--

That would not mean loving:
*ice cream
*wine
*french fries
*ice cream
*chocolate
*macaroni and cheese
*ice cream
*pretty much anything you're not SUPPOSED to eat a lot of
*Annnnnddd...ice cream

It would also help if I liked to work out.

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I love having my house clean, yet I am a lazy housekeeper.

Huh?

I love my house to be clean but I want someone else to do it.

Yes, I'm aware it doesn't work that way. I don't have to like it.

I just have to do it.

Someday I will.

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I love having down time.

I schedule myself out the wazoo with everything you can think of.

I complain because I never have any time to myself and am always on the go.

It is my handwriting with a pen that I hold in my hand that makes all of those plans.

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Know what I've done good?

Picked me a mighty fine husband who loves all of this crap.

Well, maybe not all of this crap, but he loves me and it comes with.

And we make some mighty fine children, too.

That's all that really matters, right??

Thoughts for the week...

*Husband + Gasoline + stroller = One very upset woman

*I would be okay with never doing another load of laundry again.

*Random strangers touching my baby's hands by reaching OVER the back of an adjoining booth is definitely not okay with me.

*Mitchell could live on macaroni and cheese, corndogs, fruit snacks and chocolate milk.

*I love cheesecake.

*Sad but true, I can get drunk off of one margarita these days.

*Teething sucks the big toe of life.

*Mosquitos love me.

*Even three year olds have guilt.

*My husband looks VERY cute with a clean shaven face and a fresh, shorter haircut. Le-rar-rar.

*My husband can't believe I don't nap during the week. Le-ha-ha!

*I love blackberries.

*It's freakin' hot outside.

*I'm not a fan of spiders.

*I'm capable of using swear words to tell my husband to stop teasing me DURING a Christian rock song that I love. Nice. Oh - and we skipped church. Way to go, me.

*You can FEEL as young as you want, but your body keeps on aging.

*I like my hair shorter.

*No matter how overweight I am, I will still love and crave ice cream until the day I die. I will also never fully enjoy working out.

*Fewer things in life are as cute as watching a 3 year old boy help his Daddy wash the car and mow the lawn. It's so obvious he wants to actually *be* his dad.

*My husband enjoys watching a seriously STUPID tv show. (No offense to anyone else who loves "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia".)

*Georgia is going to be quite the pistol. And she's almost crawling. Oh crap.

*I love washing underwear for Mitchell as opposed to buying and disposing of pullups. Way to go, big guy!!

*The minivan is not ugly when washed.

*The boneless buffalo chicken salad is much better at Bennigan's than at Chili's, just FYI.

*I am already in the midst of planning Mitchell's birthday party, thinking of Christmas gifts, and planning our anniversary trip in Feb.

*No one has yet stopped by to offer to clean my house for free.

*I love coffee. And coffee ice cream. (See? There's that ice cream thing again. It's an addiction, I'm afraid.)

Never thought of it that way...

My husband handed me an article -- I believe it was actually an essay -- yesterday.

Here's the article.

Excuse me? My kids don't make me happy?

Okay - you're right. Not ALL of the time. I mean, they DO. But not all of the time.

Why is that so hard to admit? I think it's because we're SUPPOSED to be happy with them all of the time in order to feel like a good parent. Is that what it is? Not sure.

Anyway -- I had just never thought of things like that before. Makes perfect sense though and I thought it was a great way to think about it. I mean, what person could you spend 24/7 with for weeks and months on end and NOT get driven a little crazy by? Anyone? I drive myself crazy sometimes -- it's only natural that my kids do at times.

Did I mention how much I love and adore them? :)

Last night at dinner we were talking about Mitchell's extreme meltdown at the Children's Museum yesterday. (Long story in itself -- not pretty -- worst behavior in about a year.) My hubby said "He's a good kid, he just has moments. We all do."

DING!! (That would be light bulb above my head going off.)

I said "Maybe that would help me to think of myself in the same light. I'm a good mom, I just have my moments -- we all do." I tend to be really hard on myself about things and this might be a good way to cut myself some slack.

*yawn*

Boring -- I'm bored and as a result, bored this morning...so lower your expectations, okay?

It's my birthday today -- I prefer to think of it as Saturday. With benefits.

Like cake -- I'm VERY excited about cake. The thing is - -I had one last night at my mom's but it was more the ice cream that got me. Goodness. My grandma's boyfriend (hee hee -- that still makes me giggle) brought the ice cream and if that's what it takes -- I'm about to have an 85 year old man do my wicked dessert shopping. If you've never had the Dove chocolate ice cream -- GET SOME. I was DYING it was so good. Ugh. (Did I mention that I'm trying to lose weight? Could it be because the only thing I'm excited about on my birthday is food? Hmmm.)

Anyway -- my mom insisted on making me a birthday dinner, which was so sweet since I know how tired she is. She took Mitchell to the grocery store with her and he was so freakin' adorable when they got back. I was downstairs working for her on the computer and he came bounding down the stairs and ran over to me. He said "Mommy, Mommy, I got you a surprise -- here it is!!" Hee hee. It was actually a giant card. I mean a card that literally folded out to be a poster-sized card. Too cute -- he was VERY excited because his grandma helped him write his name on there. He's very into spelling his name. It's quite cute -- but then again, he's my kid so I'm extremely biased.

Once we got done oohing and aaahing over the card, we moved onto the stuff upstairs. "Come see! Come see!" were my directions. So I came upstairs and he showed me the flowers that he picked out for me -- my mom said she didn't help at all. (He actually matched them color-wise.) Aand the cake -- oh my word -- the cake. I thought he was going to lose his mind!! It was one of those that was a little rectangle with like 8 servings in it. It was white frosting with little circle sprinkles and a big bouquet of plastic balloons. The PERFECT cake for Mommy if you are three years old -- and SCORE -- YOU get to keep the balloons. AND blow out the candles. AND stick your finger in the icing before it's served. AND after all that -- not finish your cake and ask for more ice cream instead. (Hee hee.) I told you -- that ice cream is KILLER.

While we're on the topic of food -- might I add that I always forget how much I LOVE this chicken my mom makes. It is by far -- my very favorite chicken dish of all time. It is AWESOME!!!! And guess what -- I've never made it. I have no idea why. I was eating it last night going "Why the heck don't I ever make this???" And I didn't have a good answer. Anyway -- we had that chicken, corn on the cob and fruit salad with grapes, cantalope, watermelon, raspberries, blueberries and my fave -- blackberries!! Talk about the perfect meal!!

Okay -- so I seriously love this chicken and I will now put the recipe here for you. Yes, I am THAT nerdy and yes, it is THAT good. Someone try it and tell me when you do -- I know you'll love it as much as I do. (FYI -- it's also really good cold for picnics.)

Yogurt Chicken
2 cups plain, fat free yogurt
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
4 teaspoons worstershire sauce
2 teaspoons celery salt
2 teaspoons paprika
1 clove garlic, pressed
2 teaspoons pepper
3 chicken breasts, split and skinned
3/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs
1/2 cup butter, melted (optional)

Combine yogurt, lemon juice, worstershire sauce, celery salt, paprika, garlic and pepper in a large, deep bowl. Add chicken pieces and coat well. Allow to marinate in the yogurt mixture overnight if possible, but for at least 30 min - 1 hour in the refrigerator, covered. When ready to cook, preheat oven to 350. Remove pieces of chicken from the sauce and roll in the crumbs. Arrange in a large baking dish that's been sprayed with cooking spray. Sprinkle with butter, if you're using it. (I've never done that but I bet it's GOOD.) Bake uncovered for 45 minutes or until done.

Now the good thing about this recipe is that it's good for you, so don't feel bad eating it. I think it was orginally made with sour cream, but my mom changed it to yogurt and it's sooo GOOD this way!!

Okay -- that's all I have for now. Off to eat some breakfast so we can get ready for a fun day at the museum while I have the chance -- Georgia is sacked out in the swing and Mitchell is watching his library video before we have to take it back. I might even read the paper!

Lifelong friends...

Lifelong friends are treasures. Everyone should have at least one. I'm talking about girlfriends, not just your spouse.

I happen to be lucky enough to have several lifelong friends. (By the way, I'm happy to report that over the years my list has grown, not shrunk. Shrank? Shrunk.)

These women know who they are and are gifts to me. I appreciate them more than I think they realize.

They cry with me when there's nothing else to do. They laugh with me when I'm dumber than previously thought possible. They lock my secrets up in their vaults and tell me I'm not the only one, though sometimes I highly suspect they are just being kind. They enjoy a good margarita and some fried food every once in awhile. They offer great advice and just shut up and listen when appropriate. They applaud my weight loss when I'm on a roll and help me eat chocolate desserts in times of crisis. They pretend my kids' poopy diapers really DON'T smell that bad. They endure shutterfly sharing of pics that seem endless at times, I think -- and even reply sometimes! In general, they keep me sane (well, that's a relative term, of course).

I have to go to the library now but I was just thinking about how much my friends mean to me and thought I'd share. The world is a nicer place because of my friends and I'm a lucky lady.

Never about what you think it is...

It happens a lot. You get into a discussion with someone, or a fight, or make an observation. Any of those -- and a lot of the time, the reasons behind them are not what you think.

Pretty much don't want to dive into detail here, but a couple of things happened on my weekend away with the family that demonstrated that exact point to me.

Speaking of our weekend away, it was wonderful. Chris, Mitchell, Georgia and I were like glue for three ENTIRE days. All day. All night. Every day was like that. I LOVED IT!!!

My mom felt very loved and appreciated, which was the whole point, so that was great. The boys all did fantastic and Georgia was a baby trooper as well. We asked an awful lot out of those little people -- flexibility mostly, and they all did great. There were some meltdowns, but they were few and far between and generally pretty mild. It was really nice to look back on the weekend and realize just what great kids we have.

Okay -- I'm tired and need to catch up on laundry and cleaning. I took most of the day today to finish up the book I was reading. Chris gave me the green light to have a lazy day and not feel guilty, but I do. I'll see if I can get a bathroom and the kitchen cleaned and the carpet vacuumed before he gets home. That would be nice -- I got a day to recover, he didn't. At all. But that's another story for another day.

Being a procrastinator sucks...

But that's what I am. Okay. Just had to say that.

I'd write more but I have about 5 loads of laundry to do and a grocery store run to make. Oh -- and it's 9 pm and we're leaving at 9:30. Whoops!!

Oh well.

Uh-oh...

It's starting. The monkey see -- monkey do business at my house.

Tonight, Mitchell was eating his dinner right next to Georgia's swing. He was chattering away to her and she was chattering right back. I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and making his lunch for school tomorrow, listening to him be goofy and her crack up but not really "watching".

So he says "Hey Mom (ouch - mommy is on the fade out), look! I taught her a trick." Okay -- she's not a DOG, but I am curious. So I go in there and he said "I taught her the silly shake your head trick."

Sure enough, he did.

He shakes his head and makes some goofy sound and she does the EXACT same thing back. They are both just giggling like crazy. I run to get the camera out of the car and make him do it again so I can get it on video. I get THE BEST video -- she did it exactly like he did -- the lighting was great, the sound was great -- I get back to the computer to email it to Chris at work.

Um, yeah. Picture of my feet walking to the computer and audio of me telling Mitchell how excited Daddy will be to get this video. As Mitchell would say "That's a big bummer, Mom(my)." I was so sad. I did get another video but it's only a half-hearted attempt on her part.

SO...cute! He was so excited and she just thought this was the best game she'd ever played. Actually, it might be, considering that she doesn't really play games yet. She does give high fives, but I think no one but Chris believes me because she will NEVER do it if I tell someone she does. She has that little "make Mommy look like a loon" thing down pat.

As I was watching them tonight, I thought about a lot of stuff:

*How cute are my kids??
*I love that they love each other so much.
*Mitchell is a certified GOOF.
*Georgia has one helluva mohawk happening right now.
*She is going to be his worst nightmare here pretty soon.
*Thank you, Lord, for choosing me to be their Mommy.
*I wish Chris was home.
*She is taking in sooooo much more than I realize. (I know she is but moments like that show it.)
*Mitchell is a GREAT big brother.
*He is doing the pee pee dance.

Then I made him go pee and the moment was over. My last thought on the subject remains the same...

Uh-oh!

Why is it...

That every time I feel like I've got everything under control -- two seconds later that is just a thought drifting away again??

I work my arse off to get this house clean -- two seconds later, there's nothing to show for it. The toilet's been peed on AGAIN, there is a huge pile of dirty laundry AGAIN, there is crap all over the floor AGAIN, etc. I know, I know -- that's what happens when people (namely a man and some children) actually live in a house and do things there. I get that -- it doesn't mean I have to like it.

I think what I'd like to do is that the next time I get my whole house clean, I will rope off each room, ship my family out for a few days, and sell tickets. Yes!! Come see the amazingly clean home -- it may never be this way again. I tell ya who would come -- people like ME. Women who work their butts off to get it that way WITHOUT a housekeeper or a nanny. Not that I'm bitter about those who do have those luxuries.

Okay, yes, I am. Very bitter. Extremely bitter. I want a housekeeper!! (Not a nanny though. Except maybe when I need to clean.) Are you seeing how those go together yet, by the way?

I guess maybe I'm just sick of feeling like a hamster on a wheel. Except instead of a hamster going around and around it's rubber gloves (latex free, please) and dirty socks. And Wiggles undies. And burp rags. And nasty toilet seats.

If I could make my own bumper sticker today, it would read "I'd rather be drunk in Hawaii."

**I needed to edit and add that Chris DOES help around here. He's more a part of the solution than the problem, but you know -- feeling sorry for myself and all that. Lumped him in. He'll live.

In my former life...

I went to a wedding this weekend...my cousin who is 28 got married and it was beautiful. He is so happy and the wedding was great. I had to leave before the party got going at the reception, but I know it was a blast. (I had already skipped one feeding with Georgia and my gals just couldn't take missing two.)

Anyway-- while I was there, it struck me just how YOUNG my cousin and his friends all seemed. I'm really only about 5 years older, but WOW -- it felt like a lot more than that. Most of his buddies were all the same age -- hardly any of them had children. I was just watching everyone going -- that was me - -4 and a half years ago. I was 28, no kids, getting married, the world at my feet. We could go where we wanted, when we wanted, with whom we wanted. We both worked but then it was just a free for all when work was over. Happy hour? No problem. Away for the weekend? Anywhere we wanted. Spontaneous bbq with friends? Why not.

These days it takes me forever to get out the door because I have to pack the double stroller, the diaper bag, my purse, snacks and drinks, the boppy, put both kids in their carseats, make sure we go potty first, etc. I also have to time out the feedings or pack stuff for bottles. If something "spontaneous" comes up, it's all about who can watch the kids or we bring them with and then we have bedtimes and feedings to deal with.

It's so funny how things change so instantaneously -- EVERYTHING changes. From the second you wake up till the second you go to bed, parenthood changes your life. It changes your heart, the way you view the world, the things you say and do, the things you watch, the food in your pantry and refrigerator, the decor of your house, the freakin' CAR you drive...everything. And for me -- I wouldn't change a thing. At all. Ever.

It's just funny -- it all changed in the blink of an eye and I KNOW it changed -- but it's like it doesn't slap ya in the face till I see other people doing different things. I just sat in my chair and thought how interesting it would be to see that same group of people in 5 more years and see how they'd changed.