So I have had a SERIOUS motivational lack this week. For what? Anything, really.
Laundry. Returning phone calls. Cleaning. Taking a shower, some days.
Am I depressed? No. I think I'm just tired. And tired of being tired. And I wanted to rest.
The only problem is that I am now motivated but overwhelmed.
Like 8 (literally) loads of laundry. All 3 bathrooms dirty. A PILE of junk mail on the kitchen table. The floors need mopping. The carpet (whole house) needs to be vacuumed. I need to make some stuff food-wise.
Ugh. Oh well, just took a break to say that this sucks and I *REALLY* want a cleaning lady. I might even give up Starbucks for that.
SUB!!!!! I need a sub!!!!
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
I wanna talk about me...
Sorry -- totally nerdy Toby Keith reference there. I am feeling less than creative today and decided to follow my friend, Kim's lead on this one.
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Hostess at Black-Eyed-Pea
2. Waitress at Applebee's (woot, woot -- Renwoit - hee hee)
3. Receptionist/physical therapy assistant/word processing for the Rehab Dept at a hospital
4. Dry cleaning counter person
B) Four movies I would watch over and over: (only 4?!?!)
1. Pretty Woman
2. Urban Cowboy (Dang, Gina -- the first scene after he shaved? HOT!!!!)
3. Baby Boom (yes, nerd alert)
4. When Harry Met Sally
C) Four places I have lived: (I'm positively WILD, I tell ya. WILD.)
1. Englewood, CO
2. Greeley, CO
3. Aurora, CO
4. Denver, CO
D) Four TV shows I love to watch
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Desperate Housewives
3. Sex and The City Reruns
4. America's Funniest Videos (am I not THE coolest person you know yet???)
E)Four places I have been on vacation:
1. San Francisco, CA
2. Seattle, WA
3. Victoria, BC
4. Las Vegas, NV
F) Four Web sites visited daily (weekly):
1. Pregnancy.org
2. ebay.com
3. bestsimplerecipes.com
4. target.com
G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Lasagna
2. Ice cream
3. Anything mexican (but mostly chile rellenos and guacamole tostadas)
4. Cheese
H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Girls Night Out
2. The scrapbooking store
3. Disneyland with my family
4. On a hawaiian beach with a margarita and my cabana boy, errrr -- husband
So go ahead. If you have a blog, blog it. If you have a board, post it. If you have neither, just write it down and think about it.
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Hostess at Black-Eyed-Pea
2. Waitress at Applebee's (woot, woot -- Renwoit - hee hee)
3. Receptionist/physical therapy assistant/word processing for the Rehab Dept at a hospital
4. Dry cleaning counter person
B) Four movies I would watch over and over: (only 4?!?!)
1. Pretty Woman
2. Urban Cowboy (Dang, Gina -- the first scene after he shaved? HOT!!!!)
3. Baby Boom (yes, nerd alert)
4. When Harry Met Sally
C) Four places I have lived: (I'm positively WILD, I tell ya. WILD.)
1. Englewood, CO
2. Greeley, CO
3. Aurora, CO
4. Denver, CO
D) Four TV shows I love to watch
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Desperate Housewives
3. Sex and The City Reruns
4. America's Funniest Videos (am I not THE coolest person you know yet???)
E)Four places I have been on vacation:
1. San Francisco, CA
2. Seattle, WA
3. Victoria, BC
4. Las Vegas, NV
F) Four Web sites visited daily (weekly):
1. Pregnancy.org
2. ebay.com
3. bestsimplerecipes.com
4. target.com
G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Lasagna
2. Ice cream
3. Anything mexican (but mostly chile rellenos and guacamole tostadas)
4. Cheese
H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Girls Night Out
2. The scrapbooking store
3. Disneyland with my family
4. On a hawaiian beach with a margarita and my cabana boy, errrr -- husband
So go ahead. If you have a blog, blog it. If you have a board, post it. If you have neither, just write it down and think about it.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
You HAVE to go!!
Okay, if you have a list of things to do or places to visit, I have one for you to add.
You have GOT to see a concert at Red Rocks! If you've ever seen the U2 video from "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" then you know what I'm talking about.
My husband and I went last night and it was just amazing. Both of us are from Colorado, so we've both been to lots of concerts there, but it never gets old. Ever. PLUS -- they've done some really nice additions and remodeling to the bathrooms, added a restaurant, all kinds of stuff.
Actually, I'm kicking myself because I know they did some movies there this summer at night and now I'm wishing we'd looked into it. It's a hike from our house, but so very worth it. We're definitely taking the kids there next summer.
The energy there during the show is crazy -- concerts are always power houses of energy, but here, it's just nuts. I seriously think it's the best place EVER to see a show. Maybe this year we'll go to the sunrise Easter service -- I've always wanted to.
Okay -- there's my PSA for the day. Go to Red Rocks and thank me later.
You have GOT to see a concert at Red Rocks! If you've ever seen the U2 video from "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" then you know what I'm talking about.
My husband and I went last night and it was just amazing. Both of us are from Colorado, so we've both been to lots of concerts there, but it never gets old. Ever. PLUS -- they've done some really nice additions and remodeling to the bathrooms, added a restaurant, all kinds of stuff.
Actually, I'm kicking myself because I know they did some movies there this summer at night and now I'm wishing we'd looked into it. It's a hike from our house, but so very worth it. We're definitely taking the kids there next summer.
The energy there during the show is crazy -- concerts are always power houses of energy, but here, it's just nuts. I seriously think it's the best place EVER to see a show. Maybe this year we'll go to the sunrise Easter service -- I've always wanted to.
Okay -- there's my PSA for the day. Go to Red Rocks and thank me later.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
A dream come true...
Saturday night, one of my husband's life-long dreams became reality.
He took his son to a major league baseball game.
To some people, this might be a small event. To my husband, it was a MAJOR milestone in his life, not just Mitchell's. I know, without a doubt, that he will remember and savor each and every moment from last night forever and it was a magical night for me to watch it through both of their eyes.
It was really chilly and the day before was pretty miserable -- cold, windy, rainy and I was dreading the game the next day. Friday night I started the whole "I don't want him to get sick again" talk and started throwing out the possibility of not going. Hubby was so excited that he'd already bought the tickets, so we were sort of locked in at that point.
Well, Saturday came and though it was cold, it wasn't too windy and wasn't rainy at all. We dropped Miss G off at my in-laws house and headed on downtown. I don't know who was more excited, Chris or Mitchell. They were both looking forward to it, and I'm not sure either of them knew what to expect. We got there and Mitchell spent the whole walk from the car to the stadium in a slow jog because he just couldn't wait. We finally got there and the lights on the side of the building showing the baseball guy (yes--very technical term) sliding into base just fascinated him. He couldn't understand why we had to wait in line so long (security) and just wanted to show the guy his ticket.
We finally got through the gates and that "feeling" set in -- you know the one. The energy from the crowd, the smell of the yummy junk food, the buzz of everyone chatting as they walked and talked and ate. I don't think he walked the rest of the night -- he floated. Chris was also just so excited and couldn't wait to get to our seats.
The first time Mitchell saw the field a big "whoooaaaaa" came out of his mouth and another baseball fan was born. To watch my boys walking hand in hand in the same wondrous daze was so much fun. Mitchell climbed onto Chris' lap and listened as he described the important landmarks on and off the field. Mitchell's eyes were big as saucers and Chris' eyes danced with joy.
The game was chilly but we kept warm by snuggling together under a blanket eating pa-corn, hot chocolate milk, and chips. (That would be popcorn, hot cocoa and nachos.) The boys sang "Take me out to the ballgame" together and I took a video of it.
Chris made comments throughout the game like "Well, that will be a trivia question someday -- who hit the first homerun at M's first baseball game". Mitchell kept asking "Daddy what is" and "Daddy why" and "Daddy who" questions the whole night, bless his heart -- exactly what he was supposed to do.
It was a chilly, wonderful night of magic for two boys -- one big and one little. And for one dreamy-eyed mommy who felt lucky just to be there to take it all in.
He took his son to a major league baseball game.
To some people, this might be a small event. To my husband, it was a MAJOR milestone in his life, not just Mitchell's. I know, without a doubt, that he will remember and savor each and every moment from last night forever and it was a magical night for me to watch it through both of their eyes.
It was really chilly and the day before was pretty miserable -- cold, windy, rainy and I was dreading the game the next day. Friday night I started the whole "I don't want him to get sick again" talk and started throwing out the possibility of not going. Hubby was so excited that he'd already bought the tickets, so we were sort of locked in at that point.
Well, Saturday came and though it was cold, it wasn't too windy and wasn't rainy at all. We dropped Miss G off at my in-laws house and headed on downtown. I don't know who was more excited, Chris or Mitchell. They were both looking forward to it, and I'm not sure either of them knew what to expect. We got there and Mitchell spent the whole walk from the car to the stadium in a slow jog because he just couldn't wait. We finally got there and the lights on the side of the building showing the baseball guy (yes--very technical term) sliding into base just fascinated him. He couldn't understand why we had to wait in line so long (security) and just wanted to show the guy his ticket.
We finally got through the gates and that "feeling" set in -- you know the one. The energy from the crowd, the smell of the yummy junk food, the buzz of everyone chatting as they walked and talked and ate. I don't think he walked the rest of the night -- he floated. Chris was also just so excited and couldn't wait to get to our seats.
The first time Mitchell saw the field a big "whoooaaaaa" came out of his mouth and another baseball fan was born. To watch my boys walking hand in hand in the same wondrous daze was so much fun. Mitchell climbed onto Chris' lap and listened as he described the important landmarks on and off the field. Mitchell's eyes were big as saucers and Chris' eyes danced with joy.
The game was chilly but we kept warm by snuggling together under a blanket eating pa-corn, hot chocolate milk, and chips. (That would be popcorn, hot cocoa and nachos.) The boys sang "Take me out to the ballgame" together and I took a video of it.
Chris made comments throughout the game like "Well, that will be a trivia question someday -- who hit the first homerun at M's first baseball game". Mitchell kept asking "Daddy what is" and "Daddy why" and "Daddy who" questions the whole night, bless his heart -- exactly what he was supposed to do.
It was a chilly, wonderful night of magic for two boys -- one big and one little. And for one dreamy-eyed mommy who felt lucky just to be there to take it all in.
Friday, September 22, 2006
I'm freakin' HOT when I don't shower -- as in SEXY-REXY
Yes, that's right -- you heard it here first. *I* am QUITE the hot little potato when I'm lacking in the personal hygeine arena.
What? You need an explanation? You don't believe this? You think that this is odd blogging?
Blame my husband.
See -- yesterday the kids and I had one of our very rare never leave the house except to check the mail days. (Truth be told -- the ONLY reason we got out of our pajamas was to check the mail and I came *this* close to saying skip it -- but I was waiting for some ebay stuff to come, so my curiosity got the better of me.) Actually, poor Georgia never did make it out of her jam-jams.
Anyway -- here's me -- quite a vision:
*Leftover smudgey eye makeup from the day before
*Hair in a bun with a red visor
*One of Chris' really old and huge Structure sweatshirts
*Big (as in I lost weight - yay - so they don't fit too well anymore) red track pants
*My big, pink, fuzzy slippers
The kids were in bed, and I was in the kitchen washing dishes (for like the 3rd time that day -- I baked brownies, made baby food and made homemade chicken noodle soup so there were LOTS of them) when Chris got home from work. So, we're playing catch-up on each other's days and he's giving me "that" look while I'm telling him a story.
You know when you can tell someone's listening but they're not really *engaged* in what you're saying and they are dying to make a sexually-oriented comment as soon as you stop talking? *THAT* was the look I'm meaning.
So I'm getting "that" look and when I finish my sentence, sure enough he says "Can I just tell you how SEXY you look right now? Seriously. You look hot."
Excuse me while I pee my pants laughing.
Wait. Wait just a second. What the heck?!?
Why is it that EVERY time I skip the shower, skip the makeup, skip doing my hair, THAT'S when I get "that" look and "those" comments? Why bother? So, I decide to ask.
I say "Do you realize that every time I don't shower, *that's* when you think I'm hot?"
At this point -- Chris decides that this is probably blog-worthy discussion and asks if he'll be reading about it soon. Is that too funny? I said "Sure, I'll blog on it." He tells me (while he tries to pull some mack-daddy neck kissing at the sink) that he just thinks I look so cute and he can't help it.
So, in thinking more about it today, I have sort of figured out what the deal is. Here's my best thinking on the subject...
He loves it (and I mean LOVES it) when I get all dressed up, pantyhose, heels (no accident that I first typed "hells" for those, by the way) and the whole 9 yards. I think that's a given. When I do my hair, put on makeup, go all out with the clothes, he definitely notices and compliments me.
He thinks I'm cute in my "school marm" (his term) outfits. Cute, charming and very snuggly are words I'm guessing he'd use. That's when I usually get the "I just want to tackle you" for bear hugs comments.
I think instances like last night turn my hubby on because he has a MAJOR thing for the girl next door look. He thinks the mom (Jill) on Home Improvement is about as sexy as they come, for instance. I'm that girl. The visor was from Daytona (instant "schwing" potential), I was "fresh faced" to him -- icky faced to me, but this isn't about me. I think when he sees me in my sweats, it honestly reminds him of the "girly" part of me -- the cute little teeny-bopper he first fell in love with (before he admitted to himself and the world that he did) so many years ago. I think that for my husband, just being me, just being a carefree, comfortable woman is what *really* turns him on. Cute = sexy in this house. Actually, that's how Georgia got to be here, a simple haircut and the rest is history in that department.
Here's the thing -- I'm COMPLETELY the opposite, and am borderline mean about it sometimes. If he's been working in the yard or has had a long day and wants big ol' snuggles and kisses, I'll hug but like the stiff Aunt Martha who you REALLY don't want to be hugging you hugs. And he knows it. And I'll *tell* him..."Ugh, you need to SHOWER!"
Aren't I so rude?
You know there were a few times when we were dating that I seriously made him take a shower before coming to bed because he'd been around smoke and stuff. If I could smell it, I'd throw a huge fit until he showered.
And then there's him. In the grateful, appreciative, complimentary, lovey-dovey category, no contest. He kicks my butt - no question. Now don't get me wrong, he hears a lot about how cute he is, how I think he's hot, and there are NO lingering questions in his mind about how I feel about his butt. (Love it!!) But he is WAY sweeter than I am.
Guess I should count my blessings that showers are optional, huh? Too bad the rest of the world doesn't view me in the same light. I'd be the hottest stinky woman this side of the Mississippi!
Thanks for loving me for me, honey!!
What? You need an explanation? You don't believe this? You think that this is odd blogging?
Blame my husband.
See -- yesterday the kids and I had one of our very rare never leave the house except to check the mail days. (Truth be told -- the ONLY reason we got out of our pajamas was to check the mail and I came *this* close to saying skip it -- but I was waiting for some ebay stuff to come, so my curiosity got the better of me.) Actually, poor Georgia never did make it out of her jam-jams.
Anyway -- here's me -- quite a vision:
*Leftover smudgey eye makeup from the day before
*Hair in a bun with a red visor
*One of Chris' really old and huge Structure sweatshirts
*Big (as in I lost weight - yay - so they don't fit too well anymore) red track pants
*My big, pink, fuzzy slippers
The kids were in bed, and I was in the kitchen washing dishes (for like the 3rd time that day -- I baked brownies, made baby food and made homemade chicken noodle soup so there were LOTS of them) when Chris got home from work. So, we're playing catch-up on each other's days and he's giving me "that" look while I'm telling him a story.
You know when you can tell someone's listening but they're not really *engaged* in what you're saying and they are dying to make a sexually-oriented comment as soon as you stop talking? *THAT* was the look I'm meaning.
So I'm getting "that" look and when I finish my sentence, sure enough he says "Can I just tell you how SEXY you look right now? Seriously. You look hot."
Excuse me while I pee my pants laughing.
Wait. Wait just a second. What the heck?!?
Why is it that EVERY time I skip the shower, skip the makeup, skip doing my hair, THAT'S when I get "that" look and "those" comments? Why bother? So, I decide to ask.
I say "Do you realize that every time I don't shower, *that's* when you think I'm hot?"
At this point -- Chris decides that this is probably blog-worthy discussion and asks if he'll be reading about it soon. Is that too funny? I said "Sure, I'll blog on it." He tells me (while he tries to pull some mack-daddy neck kissing at the sink) that he just thinks I look so cute and he can't help it.
So, in thinking more about it today, I have sort of figured out what the deal is. Here's my best thinking on the subject...
He loves it (and I mean LOVES it) when I get all dressed up, pantyhose, heels (no accident that I first typed "hells" for those, by the way) and the whole 9 yards. I think that's a given. When I do my hair, put on makeup, go all out with the clothes, he definitely notices and compliments me.
He thinks I'm cute in my "school marm" (his term) outfits. Cute, charming and very snuggly are words I'm guessing he'd use. That's when I usually get the "I just want to tackle you" for bear hugs comments.
I think instances like last night turn my hubby on because he has a MAJOR thing for the girl next door look. He thinks the mom (Jill) on Home Improvement is about as sexy as they come, for instance. I'm that girl. The visor was from Daytona (instant "schwing" potential), I was "fresh faced" to him -- icky faced to me, but this isn't about me. I think when he sees me in my sweats, it honestly reminds him of the "girly" part of me -- the cute little teeny-bopper he first fell in love with (before he admitted to himself and the world that he did) so many years ago. I think that for my husband, just being me, just being a carefree, comfortable woman is what *really* turns him on. Cute = sexy in this house. Actually, that's how Georgia got to be here, a simple haircut and the rest is history in that department.
Here's the thing -- I'm COMPLETELY the opposite, and am borderline mean about it sometimes. If he's been working in the yard or has had a long day and wants big ol' snuggles and kisses, I'll hug but like the stiff Aunt Martha who you REALLY don't want to be hugging you hugs. And he knows it. And I'll *tell* him..."Ugh, you need to SHOWER!"
Aren't I so rude?
You know there were a few times when we were dating that I seriously made him take a shower before coming to bed because he'd been around smoke and stuff. If I could smell it, I'd throw a huge fit until he showered.
And then there's him. In the grateful, appreciative, complimentary, lovey-dovey category, no contest. He kicks my butt - no question. Now don't get me wrong, he hears a lot about how cute he is, how I think he's hot, and there are NO lingering questions in his mind about how I feel about his butt. (Love it!!) But he is WAY sweeter than I am.
Guess I should count my blessings that showers are optional, huh? Too bad the rest of the world doesn't view me in the same light. I'd be the hottest stinky woman this side of the Mississippi!
Thanks for loving me for me, honey!!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Grateful...
Okay, I've moved on from blue to grateful. As much as it SUCKS that all this business is going on around me, I've just decided that I've expended enough negative energy for now.
I'm doing what I can for those people that I love who are not in a good way or in the middle of drama. Beyond that, I've decided that all I can do is be grateful for all of the things in my life that are not spinning out of control, causing me hurt, my health, and that of my family. Above all, I know that I'm loved as deeply as I love my own family, and really -- what more does a girl need?
I'm still sad and upset about all of it, but letting it be all-consuming just wasn't working.
I'm doing what I can for those people that I love who are not in a good way or in the middle of drama. Beyond that, I've decided that all I can do is be grateful for all of the things in my life that are not spinning out of control, causing me hurt, my health, and that of my family. Above all, I know that I'm loved as deeply as I love my own family, and really -- what more does a girl need?
I'm still sad and upset about all of it, but letting it be all-consuming just wasn't working.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Routines...
Those are pretty important to me. I'm a person that craves structure. I think that my little people do, too.
We have a morning routine and today -- we are not in it. Usually, after M wakes up, he comes downstairs and can watch some cartoons and chill out while I put away dishes from the dishwasher, clean the kitchen, and check my email. Well, as a result of a MAJOR tantrum last night going to bed, there is no tv today. No computer today. Period. End of sentence.
You'd think that we moved and I am speaking a foreign language or something. He remembered no tv and it was like "But what do I do?" Now -- before you think I have a total tv head who just vegetates in front of it all day long, that's not the case. He gets to watch it first thing in the morning and while I make dinner. The rest of the day it's music only. I thought he'd have a complete fit about it, but it's just that tv is part of his morning routine and now I've changed it. (Sort of like no cup of coffee first thing -- feels different.) I think that for him -- it took a minute to realize that he could do what he does the rest of the day -- play with the gazillion and two toys he has around here, playdough, color, read, whatever. Currently, he's happy as a clam looking at the Cars cards I cut off of the cereal box for him and eating his cheerios and blueberries.
I just thought that was interesting. He wasn't upset about the no tv thing, he was more confused about "What now?" since I took him out of his routine. I thought how easy it is to view kids as just CHILDREN and forget about the actual PERSON part of their makeup. He really craves structure and routine as much as I do -- I like to fly by the seat of my pants now and then -- I can be flexible and spontaneous, but for the most part, I'd like to have some predictability.
Looks like I'm not alone.
We have a morning routine and today -- we are not in it. Usually, after M wakes up, he comes downstairs and can watch some cartoons and chill out while I put away dishes from the dishwasher, clean the kitchen, and check my email. Well, as a result of a MAJOR tantrum last night going to bed, there is no tv today. No computer today. Period. End of sentence.
You'd think that we moved and I am speaking a foreign language or something. He remembered no tv and it was like "But what do I do?" Now -- before you think I have a total tv head who just vegetates in front of it all day long, that's not the case. He gets to watch it first thing in the morning and while I make dinner. The rest of the day it's music only. I thought he'd have a complete fit about it, but it's just that tv is part of his morning routine and now I've changed it. (Sort of like no cup of coffee first thing -- feels different.) I think that for him -- it took a minute to realize that he could do what he does the rest of the day -- play with the gazillion and two toys he has around here, playdough, color, read, whatever. Currently, he's happy as a clam looking at the Cars cards I cut off of the cereal box for him and eating his cheerios and blueberries.
I just thought that was interesting. He wasn't upset about the no tv thing, he was more confused about "What now?" since I took him out of his routine. I thought how easy it is to view kids as just CHILDREN and forget about the actual PERSON part of their makeup. He really craves structure and routine as much as I do -- I like to fly by the seat of my pants now and then -- I can be flexible and spontaneous, but for the most part, I'd like to have some predictability.
Looks like I'm not alone.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Blue on behalf of loved ones...
Today's not the best day I can remember. You ever talk to people you really, really care about and love and just ACHE because of the struggles they are going through?
Today -- I have lots of them.
I don't want to go into detail -- for one thing, I would be here until midnight, but lots of it is stuff that I need to keep in the vault. It's just HARD. Life -- it's hard. And it's not fair. And it sucks sometimes. And it rips people's hearts open and stomps on them.
And we're all expected to keep going. And believe that not only *can* it get better, but that it *will*. And every day is supposed to be better than the last. And time heals all wounds. And one foot in front of the other. And everything happens for a reason.
And I DON'T LIKE IT.
I don't like hearing other people tear other people down. I don't like watching self-destructive behaviors unfold time and again. I don't like watching families implode. I don't like watching people try to hide themselves and their pain from everyone else because they feel some sort of shame. I don't like watching people suffer at the hands of selfish others who can't see past the tip of their own noses. I don't like watching people grieve because there's nothing left to do. I don't like watching other people's dreams get shattered by things that are completely out of their control. I detest hearing people I love demean other people that I love.
This too shall pass...it all will. I'm aware of that. The grass is always greener, someone's always worse off than you are. Blah, blah, blah. Right now, though -- it sucks, and for quite a few people that I love dearly.
This isn't a pity party -- there's nothing anyone can do, because believe me, I'd be doing it. It's a vent -- there are a lot of people I'd love to have some words with, but I can't for a variety of reasons. I have a lot locked up right now and I just needed an outlet to get some of the steam out.
Today -- I have lots of them.
I don't want to go into detail -- for one thing, I would be here until midnight, but lots of it is stuff that I need to keep in the vault. It's just HARD. Life -- it's hard. And it's not fair. And it sucks sometimes. And it rips people's hearts open and stomps on them.
And we're all expected to keep going. And believe that not only *can* it get better, but that it *will*. And every day is supposed to be better than the last. And time heals all wounds. And one foot in front of the other. And everything happens for a reason.
And I DON'T LIKE IT.
I don't like hearing other people tear other people down. I don't like watching self-destructive behaviors unfold time and again. I don't like watching families implode. I don't like watching people try to hide themselves and their pain from everyone else because they feel some sort of shame. I don't like watching people suffer at the hands of selfish others who can't see past the tip of their own noses. I don't like watching people grieve because there's nothing left to do. I don't like watching other people's dreams get shattered by things that are completely out of their control. I detest hearing people I love demean other people that I love.
This too shall pass...it all will. I'm aware of that. The grass is always greener, someone's always worse off than you are. Blah, blah, blah. Right now, though -- it sucks, and for quite a few people that I love dearly.
This isn't a pity party -- there's nothing anyone can do, because believe me, I'd be doing it. It's a vent -- there are a lot of people I'd love to have some words with, but I can't for a variety of reasons. I have a lot locked up right now and I just needed an outlet to get some of the steam out.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Ugh.
I hate having a sick kid. Know what's worse?
Two of them.
This is a new thing for me. They've never been sick at the same time. I'm sure it's a bug that M was kind enough to bring home from school. It's just a cold, but still -- you know how that goes. Poor little Georgia. I fed her at 5:30 and then she slept again until about 8:30. Went in to get her and she had snot ALL OVER her little face. :( I did the whole saline/suction thing and man -- I didn't know she had room for all of that in there!! Poor thing -- even after my extraction session, she still had to take breathers to eat. Sweet girl.
I don't feel all that lovely myself today either, so today should be interesting. I just feel so bad because there's not a TON of stuff you can do for colds. I think we'll do rest, some soup, turn on the humidifier, spray the saline, and veg out.
*cough*sniffle*hack*wheeze*snort*
Anyone wanna come over and play?
Two of them.
This is a new thing for me. They've never been sick at the same time. I'm sure it's a bug that M was kind enough to bring home from school. It's just a cold, but still -- you know how that goes. Poor little Georgia. I fed her at 5:30 and then she slept again until about 8:30. Went in to get her and she had snot ALL OVER her little face. :( I did the whole saline/suction thing and man -- I didn't know she had room for all of that in there!! Poor thing -- even after my extraction session, she still had to take breathers to eat. Sweet girl.
I don't feel all that lovely myself today either, so today should be interesting. I just feel so bad because there's not a TON of stuff you can do for colds. I think we'll do rest, some soup, turn on the humidifier, spray the saline, and veg out.
*cough*sniffle*hack*wheeze*snort*
Anyone wanna come over and play?
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Yeah, so???
Why are people so defensive all of the time? I can only speak for myself, so I think I'll do that now. (Shocker!!) I get defensive for a few reasons -- would you like me to list them? Okay.
1. When I *know* I'm right and am being attacked. (Read: know = have factual proof)
2. When I have noted a previously established pattern of being attacked by the same person.
3. When there is a "Yo Momma" involved. (just kidding)
4. When I am tired, annoyed, and otherwise not in the mood to put up with ANYONE'S crap.
5. When I am shallow and self-centered enough to not see another person's point of view.
6. When I feel personally insulted and am unable to see the facts, and instead focus on emotions.
7. When I'm hungry. (Seriously -- if I'm REALLY hungry -- do not approach.)
8. When it is obvious to me that I am being disrespected unnecessarily.
9. When it is obvious to me that my point of view is not being taken into consideration at all.
10. When my feelings are invalidated and left on the side of the road.
Can you tell I was a little snarky at home this week and am trying to process it? A little disclaimer -- my husband is not guilty of all of these things -- not what I'm trying to imply. I'm thinking of family scenarios, other social situations, but yes -- maybe a little tiff here and there with the Cabana Boy.
By the way, if you're reading this, honey...might wanna print this off and go down the list next time I launch into "that girl" mode. Try feeding me, giving me a nap, a *cough* Starbucks, perhaps? Yes -- bribe me, essentially. It's that easy. Backrubs and ice cream -- two sure fire bribes. Diamond earrings -- whoa. I might never fight with you again. Okay - -for at least a week. Maybe two. Hey -- you clean up the next pruney diaper blowout and who knows -- I might actually TOUCH your feet.
1. When I *know* I'm right and am being attacked. (Read: know = have factual proof)
2. When I have noted a previously established pattern of being attacked by the same person.
3. When there is a "Yo Momma" involved. (just kidding)
4. When I am tired, annoyed, and otherwise not in the mood to put up with ANYONE'S crap.
5. When I am shallow and self-centered enough to not see another person's point of view.
6. When I feel personally insulted and am unable to see the facts, and instead focus on emotions.
7. When I'm hungry. (Seriously -- if I'm REALLY hungry -- do not approach.)
8. When it is obvious to me that I am being disrespected unnecessarily.
9. When it is obvious to me that my point of view is not being taken into consideration at all.
10. When my feelings are invalidated and left on the side of the road.
Can you tell I was a little snarky at home this week and am trying to process it? A little disclaimer -- my husband is not guilty of all of these things -- not what I'm trying to imply. I'm thinking of family scenarios, other social situations, but yes -- maybe a little tiff here and there with the Cabana Boy.
By the way, if you're reading this, honey...might wanna print this off and go down the list next time I launch into "that girl" mode. Try feeding me, giving me a nap, a *cough* Starbucks, perhaps? Yes -- bribe me, essentially. It's that easy. Backrubs and ice cream -- two sure fire bribes. Diamond earrings -- whoa. I might never fight with you again. Okay - -for at least a week. Maybe two. Hey -- you clean up the next pruney diaper blowout and who knows -- I might actually TOUCH your feet.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Fall...
I love autumn. It's my favorite season, and I'm excited that it's almost here -- well, sort of is here already. That feeling is in the air, and it's awesome. Sweater weather is one the best phrases in our house -- it means bundled up walks, football, hot chocolate, fluffy blankies, and warm pajamas.
I'm really excited to take the kids to a pumpkin patch -- Mitchell had so much fun last year, I bet this year will be even better. I'm excited to carve pumpkins, see what Halloween brings, and drink some yummy apple cider. Mitchell and I just read a few pumpkin themed-books from the library, and I think it will be fun to start seeing the leaves change color soon. We'll definitely have to do a leaf-peeping drive through the mountains this year.
Did I mention that I'm also sick of sweating like a pig and looking forward to wearing warmer clothes again?
Oh -- one thing though -- much as I love me some fall, we have tickets to an outdoor concert the last week in September, so if it could be summery that night, that would be great.
I'm really excited to take the kids to a pumpkin patch -- Mitchell had so much fun last year, I bet this year will be even better. I'm excited to carve pumpkins, see what Halloween brings, and drink some yummy apple cider. Mitchell and I just read a few pumpkin themed-books from the library, and I think it will be fun to start seeing the leaves change color soon. We'll definitely have to do a leaf-peeping drive through the mountains this year.
Did I mention that I'm also sick of sweating like a pig and looking forward to wearing warmer clothes again?
Oh -- one thing though -- much as I love me some fall, we have tickets to an outdoor concert the last week in September, so if it could be summery that night, that would be great.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
We heard the same thing...
Okay, so a couple of nights ago, Chris and I are laying in bed watching tv before going to sleep. We see a commercial for a tv show or movie (I can't remember). This guy has decided that he's found the girl he wants to marry and he says to a friend "She's the last girl I'll kiss."
I say to hubster "Do you ever think about that?"
"What?"
"That I'm the last girl you'll kiss."
"Oh. No. I try not to."
"Why? Are you disappointed about it?"
"No, I'm glad you are, but why are you asking me this?"
"I just saw that commercial and the guy said that she was the last girl he'll kiss so I wondered if you thought about that at all."
"No, not really. Why? Are you glad about it?"
"Sure. I think it's great. I just didn't know what you thought."
"Well, I don't know why that guy is talking to his friend about something that's going to upset him."
Long, dramatic pause with me just staring at him.
"Actually, when he said it, he didn't sound upset. He was telling his friend that he had just found the woman he wanted to marry - and it was more like he didn't want to kiss anyone except her."
"Oh, really? I thought he sounded sad about it."
"You really thought he was upset about that?"
"Well, yeah."
There it is, folks. That's why there are chick flicks and that's why they drive men nuts.
I say to hubster "Do you ever think about that?"
"What?"
"That I'm the last girl you'll kiss."
"Oh. No. I try not to."
"Why? Are you disappointed about it?"
"No, I'm glad you are, but why are you asking me this?"
"I just saw that commercial and the guy said that she was the last girl he'll kiss so I wondered if you thought about that at all."
"No, not really. Why? Are you glad about it?"
"Sure. I think it's great. I just didn't know what you thought."
"Well, I don't know why that guy is talking to his friend about something that's going to upset him."
Long, dramatic pause with me just staring at him.
"Actually, when he said it, he didn't sound upset. He was telling his friend that he had just found the woman he wanted to marry - and it was more like he didn't want to kiss anyone except her."
"Oh, really? I thought he sounded sad about it."
"You really thought he was upset about that?"
"Well, yeah."
There it is, folks. That's why there are chick flicks and that's why they drive men nuts.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Little changes...
They add up, ever notice that?
We recently began putting up different blinds and I'm truly amazed at what a difference it makes in the way our home looks. To me, more homey, less housey. (Ask me if I actually CARE that it's not a word.)
Cooking -- one of my passions -- is all about little changes making a big difference. Like last night, I tried a new recipe for homemade macaroni and cheese. (No, no chicken manicotti, Renee -- too lazy.) It was supposed to have ham but all I had was turkey so I did that. My husband, sweet man that he is, indulges me in my little "woulda coulda shoulda" cooking game each time I make something. For example, last night was "I shoulda used a big pre-cooked ham and cubed it up instead of deli ham like they suggested." "I'm glad I put breadcrumbs in here instead of just parmesan because it's a yummy crust now." I'm well aware that I'm a COMPLETE nerd, and I'm just glad that my husband is nice enough to say "mmmmhmmm" with a full mouth and grateful tummy.
Little changes add up to BIG changes when it comes to kids...I just finished cleaning out both of the kids' closets and I'm amazed at the number of clothes that they've both grown out of. It happens so gradually that if you blink you might miss it. We have a growth chart behind Mitchell's door and I try to measure him every month or two and I'm always surprised how quickly he grows. Like where was I when you grew? How did I miss this? It's not until the pants start looking flood-ready that I'm like Hmmmmmm...is he taller? I think it's easier when you don't see them every day.
Okay -- that was all I had for today. Little changes -- bigger than they advertise, usually.
We recently began putting up different blinds and I'm truly amazed at what a difference it makes in the way our home looks. To me, more homey, less housey. (Ask me if I actually CARE that it's not a word.)
Cooking -- one of my passions -- is all about little changes making a big difference. Like last night, I tried a new recipe for homemade macaroni and cheese. (No, no chicken manicotti, Renee -- too lazy.) It was supposed to have ham but all I had was turkey so I did that. My husband, sweet man that he is, indulges me in my little "woulda coulda shoulda" cooking game each time I make something. For example, last night was "I shoulda used a big pre-cooked ham and cubed it up instead of deli ham like they suggested." "I'm glad I put breadcrumbs in here instead of just parmesan because it's a yummy crust now." I'm well aware that I'm a COMPLETE nerd, and I'm just glad that my husband is nice enough to say "mmmmhmmm" with a full mouth and grateful tummy.
Little changes add up to BIG changes when it comes to kids...I just finished cleaning out both of the kids' closets and I'm amazed at the number of clothes that they've both grown out of. It happens so gradually that if you blink you might miss it. We have a growth chart behind Mitchell's door and I try to measure him every month or two and I'm always surprised how quickly he grows. Like where was I when you grew? How did I miss this? It's not until the pants start looking flood-ready that I'm like Hmmmmmm...is he taller? I think it's easier when you don't see them every day.
Okay -- that was all I had for today. Little changes -- bigger than they advertise, usually.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
I love getting things done.
It always makes me wonder why I don't just go gung-ho more often with my "to-do" list.
Then I think about all of the "Just a minute..." speeches Mitchell got from both of us this weekend while we were "to-do-ing" and I remember. I think that a lot of the time, it's an either/or situation.
Either you play with your kids...
Or you get stuff done.
The days where it's both are very rare. On Saturday I cleaned out the linen closet while G took her nap in the crib. The linen closet is in the hallway just outside of M's bedroom door and my hubby was in there putting up a new blind. Well, M was quite distraught at the sight of his precious valance and train curtains being taken down and he was throwing quite the fit. He ended up laying down reading books on his bed and fell asleep. Of course, about 10 minutes after he fell asleep, she woke up. The hubster and I then spent the next half an hour taking turns from our work to entertain and resettle Miss G in the bouncy seat, placed halfway between the window and the linen closet.
When she was tiny and slept all of the time, I could get a lot more done around here, but now -- it's getting pretty difficult. Mitchell is pretty good about coming with me from room to room and playing trains, reading books, doing puzzles, etc. while I clean or whatever. Lots of times he likes to "help". If I'm dusting, I'll give him a wet paper towl and let him wipe down whatever he wants to. If I'm doing laundry, I let him shake out some wet clothes for me. Stuff like that.
We got a LOT done around here this weekend and it feels great. I just wish it would happen more often, but you know -- I'll never regret choosing a game of Thomas dominoes or singing silly songs together over mopping the kitchen floors.
Then I think about all of the "Just a minute..." speeches Mitchell got from both of us this weekend while we were "to-do-ing" and I remember. I think that a lot of the time, it's an either/or situation.
Either you play with your kids...
Or you get stuff done.
The days where it's both are very rare. On Saturday I cleaned out the linen closet while G took her nap in the crib. The linen closet is in the hallway just outside of M's bedroom door and my hubby was in there putting up a new blind. Well, M was quite distraught at the sight of his precious valance and train curtains being taken down and he was throwing quite the fit. He ended up laying down reading books on his bed and fell asleep. Of course, about 10 minutes after he fell asleep, she woke up. The hubster and I then spent the next half an hour taking turns from our work to entertain and resettle Miss G in the bouncy seat, placed halfway between the window and the linen closet.
When she was tiny and slept all of the time, I could get a lot more done around here, but now -- it's getting pretty difficult. Mitchell is pretty good about coming with me from room to room and playing trains, reading books, doing puzzles, etc. while I clean or whatever. Lots of times he likes to "help". If I'm dusting, I'll give him a wet paper towl and let him wipe down whatever he wants to. If I'm doing laundry, I let him shake out some wet clothes for me. Stuff like that.
We got a LOT done around here this weekend and it feels great. I just wish it would happen more often, but you know -- I'll never regret choosing a game of Thomas dominoes or singing silly songs together over mopping the kitchen floors.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Oh, to be 3 again...
Mitchell is behind me at the kitchen table right now playing with an airplane singing his own made up song "My space shuttle is gonna blaaaaasssstttt off. I know how to DOOOOOO it." That doesn't happen in adulthood.
Uh-oh. Guess what he switched to?
"La dee da dee da. La dee da dee da. What's the name of that sonnnnnggggg???"
Well, crap. And today was going so well.
************************************************************************************
Here's Mitchell's day yesterday:
Wake up, get some cuddles in bed with mom.
**Come downstairs, eat some Cars cereal (yes -- mom is a sucka) and watch some toons.
**Get dressed, get in the car with whatever toys he chooses and drive to haircut.
**Play with some trains, then have someone entertain him with a silly voice and the video of his choosing, all the while sitting in a play firetruck. Get a sticker, a balloon and a lollipop on the way out.
**Drive to grandma's where lunch is waiting.
**Go with grandpa to see "Cars" (again) at the dollar movies.
**Come home and play with Grandpa. He lets him play on the computer, too.
**Go get some chinese food with Grandpa.
**Eat dinner, play some more.
**Fall asleep on the way home.
**Get a backrub in bed as he nods off for the night.
Come on...is that the life, or WHAT??
************************************************************************************
When is it that we lose our imaginations? Mitchell literally just came up to me with his Blue Angel airplane under a video cover and said "Here, Mommy -- here's a lollipop for you. I made it just for you." When does that stop being a lollipop and start becoming just an airplane and a video cover? When is a fort no longer a fort -- when does it go back to just two chairs and a blanket?
I hope for my kids' sake, it's not for a long, long time...
************************************************************************************
When you're three years old, not one person doubts your sincerity when you say "I love you" or you hug someone. Trust me, when you're three -- neither of those things happen unless you WANT them to. How many adults have you gotten the cardboard cutout hug from? Too many.
************************************************************************************
Life is simple when you're three. I think I need to start living life through my child's eyes more often. (Right now he has his hands stuck in both ends of his slinky and apparently he's a robot. He just told me that when I get older he'll teach me how to do it.) Gotta go. I need to play robot.
Uh-oh. Guess what he switched to?
"La dee da dee da. La dee da dee da. What's the name of that sonnnnnggggg???"
Well, crap. And today was going so well.
************************************************************************************
Here's Mitchell's day yesterday:
Wake up, get some cuddles in bed with mom.
**Come downstairs, eat some Cars cereal (yes -- mom is a sucka) and watch some toons.
**Get dressed, get in the car with whatever toys he chooses and drive to haircut.
**Play with some trains, then have someone entertain him with a silly voice and the video of his choosing, all the while sitting in a play firetruck. Get a sticker, a balloon and a lollipop on the way out.
**Drive to grandma's where lunch is waiting.
**Go with grandpa to see "Cars" (again) at the dollar movies.
**Come home and play with Grandpa. He lets him play on the computer, too.
**Go get some chinese food with Grandpa.
**Eat dinner, play some more.
**Fall asleep on the way home.
**Get a backrub in bed as he nods off for the night.
Come on...is that the life, or WHAT??
************************************************************************************
When is it that we lose our imaginations? Mitchell literally just came up to me with his Blue Angel airplane under a video cover and said "Here, Mommy -- here's a lollipop for you. I made it just for you." When does that stop being a lollipop and start becoming just an airplane and a video cover? When is a fort no longer a fort -- when does it go back to just two chairs and a blanket?
I hope for my kids' sake, it's not for a long, long time...
************************************************************************************
When you're three years old, not one person doubts your sincerity when you say "I love you" or you hug someone. Trust me, when you're three -- neither of those things happen unless you WANT them to. How many adults have you gotten the cardboard cutout hug from? Too many.
************************************************************************************
Life is simple when you're three. I think I need to start living life through my child's eyes more often. (Right now he has his hands stuck in both ends of his slinky and apparently he's a robot. He just told me that when I get older he'll teach me how to do it.) Gotta go. I need to play robot.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
15 Years Ago Today...
Gather 'round, kids...listen to a little story.
It's August 31, 1991 and a fresh faced, wide-eyed, just turned 18-year old girl wakes up in her very own waterbed (ha ha) at home. She blinks her eyes, rubs her face, stretches big and sits up, instantly filled with nervous energy as she recalls what today is...
...the day she leaves for college.
That was me. I'm the girl. And I was fresh-faced -- I looked like I was all of 12 years old. Big ponytail with a red and white polka dotted scrunchy (that I made MYSELF) holding it back. I don't remember that -- I have pictures.
After breakfast, my boyfriend (high school sweetheart) came over to tell me goodbye. We decided that the best thing for us to do was be apart while I was away and together if we felt like it when I came back for my first fall break. (He was a year younger than I was and still in high school.) I remember that he made me a beaded necklace and wrote me a letter. Both of them made me cry.
My parents and I piled into the car with all of my stuff and drove the hour and a half north to my college. We pulled up in front of my dorm -- and I started to panic a little bit inside. A huge part of me was more excited than I thought I would be -- and another part of me was more scared that I thought I'd be.
We all hop out and as my dad puts the tailgate up on the Jeep, a *very* cute guy comes over and introduces himself. His name was Chris and he was here to help me move all of my stuff in. I go inside, open up my room, and as he brings the first load of stuff in, mentions that he happens to live in the room directly below me, so he hopes I'm quiet and don't wear loud shoes. I tell him that unfortunately, no one has ever described me as quiet and I pretty much lived in flip flops at that point, so he was probably out of luck. We just laughed right from the start and I felt like I'd already made my first friend.
As we went back and forth and back and forth (and back and forth some more -- I had a LOT of crap) from the dorm to the car, we kept talking. Turns out he is a year older than I am and went to a rival high school. Also turns out that he happens to be very good friends with a friend of mine -- she and I played club volleyball together, but she went to his high school and was also starting at the same college that day. (She lived on the other side of campus though.)
The interesting thing is -- he had a girlfriend and even though I didn't *have* a boyfriend -- I was still pretty emotionally attached at that point. There was a "hey, he's really cute" thing in my head, but as I said before -- it was more like instant friendship.
After he finished moving me into my room, he said to come visit him whenever I wanted to and to let him know if he could do anything for me. (This was his 2nd year in this dorm.) I thanked him and promised I'd come look him up if I needed help. He said goodbye to my parents and we went about the rest of the day.
**Fast forward 15 years with me**
August 31, 2006...an exhausted but very happy 30-something woman wakes up this morning to an alarm clock going off for the 3rd time. It's not her alarm clock, so she finally gently nudges the snoring man next to her in bed and politely (well, semi-politely perhaps) asks him to please turn it off. The snoring man finally awakens when a precious baby girl in the next room begins to stir and the baggy-eyed woman goes to settle her down. As he sits up to get out of bed and meet the day ahead of him, the man looks over his shoulder and says "15 years ago today..." to his wife.
The girl is me. The guy is Chris.
The sleepy Mommy is me. The snoring Daddy is Chris.
Can you believe it? 15 years ago today, I met the man of my dreams as he was carrying in my scrunchies, tampons, and slouch socks. The man I would come to one day call "Cabana Boy" walked into my life and it was pretty darn uneventful at the time.
He claims that he chose me from the line of cars because of my cute hair and "beautiful" eyes. I personally think it's because we parked pretty near the door, but again, that's just my take on it.
Amazing. Simply amazing. We met in 1991, didn't date until 1999, didn't marry until 2002, and here we are today.
Be nice to people around you, my friends. You never know how the person holding the door open for you at the bank will impact your life in the future. The person waiting next to you at the school bus stop when you're 15 might still be your friend when you are twice, and even three times as old. That waitress you work with at your meaningless Applebee's job might actually become a lifelong friend. The *very* cute boy who helps schlep your crap into your dorm room might turn out to be your very own Prince Charming. (Too bad he still WEARS those same shoes, and I'm NOT kidding.)
15 years ago today, I met my very best friend in the whole, wide world. The road to him was long, winding and full of potholes and idiots. I would do it all again in a heartbeat to end up in the same place, and I feel confident that he would, too. He's pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me because none of the other blessings in my life would be possible without his love. I'm so thankful for him and for our marriage -- CLEARLY it was built upon friendship.
One thing though...
CRAP, does this make me feel OLD. Old and loved, but still old.
I love you, Cabana Boy. You mow a darn fine lawn.
It's August 31, 1991 and a fresh faced, wide-eyed, just turned 18-year old girl wakes up in her very own waterbed (ha ha) at home. She blinks her eyes, rubs her face, stretches big and sits up, instantly filled with nervous energy as she recalls what today is...
...the day she leaves for college.
That was me. I'm the girl. And I was fresh-faced -- I looked like I was all of 12 years old. Big ponytail with a red and white polka dotted scrunchy (that I made MYSELF) holding it back. I don't remember that -- I have pictures.
After breakfast, my boyfriend (high school sweetheart) came over to tell me goodbye. We decided that the best thing for us to do was be apart while I was away and together if we felt like it when I came back for my first fall break. (He was a year younger than I was and still in high school.) I remember that he made me a beaded necklace and wrote me a letter. Both of them made me cry.
My parents and I piled into the car with all of my stuff and drove the hour and a half north to my college. We pulled up in front of my dorm -- and I started to panic a little bit inside. A huge part of me was more excited than I thought I would be -- and another part of me was more scared that I thought I'd be.
We all hop out and as my dad puts the tailgate up on the Jeep, a *very* cute guy comes over and introduces himself. His name was Chris and he was here to help me move all of my stuff in. I go inside, open up my room, and as he brings the first load of stuff in, mentions that he happens to live in the room directly below me, so he hopes I'm quiet and don't wear loud shoes. I tell him that unfortunately, no one has ever described me as quiet and I pretty much lived in flip flops at that point, so he was probably out of luck. We just laughed right from the start and I felt like I'd already made my first friend.
As we went back and forth and back and forth (and back and forth some more -- I had a LOT of crap) from the dorm to the car, we kept talking. Turns out he is a year older than I am and went to a rival high school. Also turns out that he happens to be very good friends with a friend of mine -- she and I played club volleyball together, but she went to his high school and was also starting at the same college that day. (She lived on the other side of campus though.)
The interesting thing is -- he had a girlfriend and even though I didn't *have* a boyfriend -- I was still pretty emotionally attached at that point. There was a "hey, he's really cute" thing in my head, but as I said before -- it was more like instant friendship.
After he finished moving me into my room, he said to come visit him whenever I wanted to and to let him know if he could do anything for me. (This was his 2nd year in this dorm.) I thanked him and promised I'd come look him up if I needed help. He said goodbye to my parents and we went about the rest of the day.
**Fast forward 15 years with me**
August 31, 2006...an exhausted but very happy 30-something woman wakes up this morning to an alarm clock going off for the 3rd time. It's not her alarm clock, so she finally gently nudges the snoring man next to her in bed and politely (well, semi-politely perhaps) asks him to please turn it off. The snoring man finally awakens when a precious baby girl in the next room begins to stir and the baggy-eyed woman goes to settle her down. As he sits up to get out of bed and meet the day ahead of him, the man looks over his shoulder and says "15 years ago today..." to his wife.
The girl is me. The guy is Chris.
The sleepy Mommy is me. The snoring Daddy is Chris.
Can you believe it? 15 years ago today, I met the man of my dreams as he was carrying in my scrunchies, tampons, and slouch socks. The man I would come to one day call "Cabana Boy" walked into my life and it was pretty darn uneventful at the time.
He claims that he chose me from the line of cars because of my cute hair and "beautiful" eyes. I personally think it's because we parked pretty near the door, but again, that's just my take on it.
Amazing. Simply amazing. We met in 1991, didn't date until 1999, didn't marry until 2002, and here we are today.
Be nice to people around you, my friends. You never know how the person holding the door open for you at the bank will impact your life in the future. The person waiting next to you at the school bus stop when you're 15 might still be your friend when you are twice, and even three times as old. That waitress you work with at your meaningless Applebee's job might actually become a lifelong friend. The *very* cute boy who helps schlep your crap into your dorm room might turn out to be your very own Prince Charming. (Too bad he still WEARS those same shoes, and I'm NOT kidding.)
15 years ago today, I met my very best friend in the whole, wide world. The road to him was long, winding and full of potholes and idiots. I would do it all again in a heartbeat to end up in the same place, and I feel confident that he would, too. He's pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me because none of the other blessings in my life would be possible without his love. I'm so thankful for him and for our marriage -- CLEARLY it was built upon friendship.
One thing though...
CRAP, does this make me feel OLD. Old and loved, but still old.
I love you, Cabana Boy. You mow a darn fine lawn.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Where to start?
Ever ask yourself that one?
I do. Like when I want to clean and declutter my house. (I know from talking to many of my friends that this is a theme for lots of us right now.)
I made myself a list of things I want to accomplish in September and am trying to check them off. So far I've done one -- and we're in the process of #2. The thing is -- I look around and I'm tempted to have about 25 half-done projects going at the same time.
Where to start? Where to start?
I guess I started with the list, didn't I?
*patting myself on the back*
Now I can just sit back and wait for it to take care of itself. Ha ha!!
I do. Like when I want to clean and declutter my house. (I know from talking to many of my friends that this is a theme for lots of us right now.)
I made myself a list of things I want to accomplish in September and am trying to check them off. So far I've done one -- and we're in the process of #2. The thing is -- I look around and I'm tempted to have about 25 half-done projects going at the same time.
Where to start? Where to start?
I guess I started with the list, didn't I?
*patting myself on the back*
Now I can just sit back and wait for it to take care of itself. Ha ha!!
Saturday, August 26, 2006
In a nutshell...
Anyone else have Mike Myers in their heads saying "Look, I'm in a nutshell!" LOL He's such a goof.
So, how exactly DO you put a 6 month old in a nutshell? I don't know but I'll try.
Georgia is 6 months old today and I'm feeling nostalgic about how quickly it's gone as well as more blessed than I'm ever grateful enough to realize. I know I'm her Mommy, so of course to me she is the most beautiful baby that ever was -- okay, well -- she's tied with another little boy I once knew. :) Don't read this as a brag -- read this as the liner notes to my Mommy's heart.
*Even when I was pregnant with her, I knew she was full of energy. My delivery nurse told me he'd NEVER seen a baby that active in labor. At least 4 times people came running in because she'd kicked the monitor off and they thought she was crashing. Chris and I just laughed because every staff member that came in was amazed at how enormous her movements were and how CONSTANT. We were used to it, but it really was something to see. Know what I feel sad about? We never took a video of my belly jumping around. You'll just have to take my word for it.
*She was INSTANTLY engaged with us after her birth. The funny thing is that everyone who was just commenting about what a crazy person she was in my belly were then astounded that she was SOOOO alert right away. Ummmm, hello? Doesn't the logic follow there? I knew she'd be wide awake and trying to take it all in.
*Her spirit is so much bigger than her body, and she's always been like that. She is seriously (seriously.) just happy to be alive. Happy to be in the room. Ever since her first day here, she hasn't complained much unless her belly is empty. (Actually, I'm glad that she doesn't tolerate messy diapers as well as her brother -- I'm hoping that means good things for potty training speed.) She has always been just excited for you to make eye contact with her.
*Her smile is contagious. She figured it out early and whips it out often. Combine it with those big, brown, engaging eyes and she's a tough one to ignore.
*I think her giggle is on the angel's soundtrack. I'm not kidding -- you can't not laugh yourself when you hear it, or at least smile, even if you are in an exceptionally bad mood. You can tell she's laughing from her soul, and because she's TRULY happy. The really great part of this is that at least 70% of the time, she's laughing at her big brother.
*Speaking of Mitchell, I think that their little sibling love affair started before she even got out. I remember him trying to put one of those little teeny pumpkins in my belly last Halloween. When she started getting active in there, she'd ALWAYS perk up when he talked to my tummy, even if she had been quiet for hours.
*I am glad to say that she appears to be a goofball like her Momma. Having a sense of humor has gotten me into trouble in the past, but most of the time it helps more than anything. She's got one. I assure you. The girl has a sense of timing. She knows just when to slap someone. Her ability to blow raspberries is always done with a flawless sense of exactly when and toward whom they should be directed. I hope that when she starts mocking me I'm able to remain appreciative of her humor. (Eeeee. Just thought of myself in middle school and got the bad kind of goosebumps. Uh-oh.)
*She's already challenging me in ways that I never knew she could. See, I'm used to raising an observer -- a slow to come out of his shell and explore child. She has NEVER been that way. Their births are perfect examples -- I'm convinced he was in jumping jack position in the birth canal, wedging himself in there because he needed more time to get comfortable with arriving in this world. It took me 3 hours to get that child out by pushing. Not Georgia -- 20 minutes later and there she was with everyone asking if she was a c-section because her head was unscathed. Nope -- she just wanted to get out and start the party. She wants to hold everything, open everything, eat everything, play with everything. She wants to go, go, go. Now. Yesterday, as a matter of fact. This little go-getter personality is new to me on the motherhood front. It's like raising myself, and let me tell you how scary that is. It's official -- we have a little Chris and a little Tara. I predict big love, lots and lots of laughing, and fights worth remembering when they happen.
*She couldn't POSSIBLY be any sweeter. She hasn't yet said a word (well, I think one day she was saying "ato" for Mitchell, but it hasn't happened again), but this little girl can TALK to you. She is the most expressive little girl and there is absolutely NO doubt about her love for us or trust in us. That in itself is the most precious gift she can give.
What a job, to be a Mommy. Specifically to her. I can't believe this 6 months has flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was putting together her carseat and stroller and just Wednesday I put together her BIG girl carseat and took the baby seat attachment off of the stroller. Today I have lots of little clothes to pack away. Wednesday is her doctor visit and I know he's going to tell me to start feeding her food. As much as I know she'll love it, I don't want to. That means she's taking yet another step away from being the tiny, precious little life that I knew would grow too fast. I think instead of mourning the baby that's growing too quickly, I will instead cherish the sweet, adorable, unique little girl that I am blessed to call my daughter.
(In case you're wondering, yes -- I did cry as I typed this whole thing.)
My prayer today is that she is always as blessed in her own life as we are to have her in ours.
I love you, Love Bug. Happy half birthday, baby girl. I know you will do great things.
So, how exactly DO you put a 6 month old in a nutshell? I don't know but I'll try.
Georgia is 6 months old today and I'm feeling nostalgic about how quickly it's gone as well as more blessed than I'm ever grateful enough to realize. I know I'm her Mommy, so of course to me she is the most beautiful baby that ever was -- okay, well -- she's tied with another little boy I once knew. :) Don't read this as a brag -- read this as the liner notes to my Mommy's heart.
*Even when I was pregnant with her, I knew she was full of energy. My delivery nurse told me he'd NEVER seen a baby that active in labor. At least 4 times people came running in because she'd kicked the monitor off and they thought she was crashing. Chris and I just laughed because every staff member that came in was amazed at how enormous her movements were and how CONSTANT. We were used to it, but it really was something to see. Know what I feel sad about? We never took a video of my belly jumping around. You'll just have to take my word for it.
*She was INSTANTLY engaged with us after her birth. The funny thing is that everyone who was just commenting about what a crazy person she was in my belly were then astounded that she was SOOOO alert right away. Ummmm, hello? Doesn't the logic follow there? I knew she'd be wide awake and trying to take it all in.
*Her spirit is so much bigger than her body, and she's always been like that. She is seriously (seriously.) just happy to be alive. Happy to be in the room. Ever since her first day here, she hasn't complained much unless her belly is empty. (Actually, I'm glad that she doesn't tolerate messy diapers as well as her brother -- I'm hoping that means good things for potty training speed.) She has always been just excited for you to make eye contact with her.
*Her smile is contagious. She figured it out early and whips it out often. Combine it with those big, brown, engaging eyes and she's a tough one to ignore.
*I think her giggle is on the angel's soundtrack. I'm not kidding -- you can't not laugh yourself when you hear it, or at least smile, even if you are in an exceptionally bad mood. You can tell she's laughing from her soul, and because she's TRULY happy. The really great part of this is that at least 70% of the time, she's laughing at her big brother.
*Speaking of Mitchell, I think that their little sibling love affair started before she even got out. I remember him trying to put one of those little teeny pumpkins in my belly last Halloween. When she started getting active in there, she'd ALWAYS perk up when he talked to my tummy, even if she had been quiet for hours.
*I am glad to say that she appears to be a goofball like her Momma. Having a sense of humor has gotten me into trouble in the past, but most of the time it helps more than anything. She's got one. I assure you. The girl has a sense of timing. She knows just when to slap someone. Her ability to blow raspberries is always done with a flawless sense of exactly when and toward whom they should be directed. I hope that when she starts mocking me I'm able to remain appreciative of her humor. (Eeeee. Just thought of myself in middle school and got the bad kind of goosebumps. Uh-oh.)
*She's already challenging me in ways that I never knew she could. See, I'm used to raising an observer -- a slow to come out of his shell and explore child. She has NEVER been that way. Their births are perfect examples -- I'm convinced he was in jumping jack position in the birth canal, wedging himself in there because he needed more time to get comfortable with arriving in this world. It took me 3 hours to get that child out by pushing. Not Georgia -- 20 minutes later and there she was with everyone asking if she was a c-section because her head was unscathed. Nope -- she just wanted to get out and start the party. She wants to hold everything, open everything, eat everything, play with everything. She wants to go, go, go. Now. Yesterday, as a matter of fact. This little go-getter personality is new to me on the motherhood front. It's like raising myself, and let me tell you how scary that is. It's official -- we have a little Chris and a little Tara. I predict big love, lots and lots of laughing, and fights worth remembering when they happen.
*She couldn't POSSIBLY be any sweeter. She hasn't yet said a word (well, I think one day she was saying "ato" for Mitchell, but it hasn't happened again), but this little girl can TALK to you. She is the most expressive little girl and there is absolutely NO doubt about her love for us or trust in us. That in itself is the most precious gift she can give.
What a job, to be a Mommy. Specifically to her. I can't believe this 6 months has flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was putting together her carseat and stroller and just Wednesday I put together her BIG girl carseat and took the baby seat attachment off of the stroller. Today I have lots of little clothes to pack away. Wednesday is her doctor visit and I know he's going to tell me to start feeding her food. As much as I know she'll love it, I don't want to. That means she's taking yet another step away from being the tiny, precious little life that I knew would grow too fast. I think instead of mourning the baby that's growing too quickly, I will instead cherish the sweet, adorable, unique little girl that I am blessed to call my daughter.
(In case you're wondering, yes -- I did cry as I typed this whole thing.)
My prayer today is that she is always as blessed in her own life as we are to have her in ours.
I love you, Love Bug. Happy half birthday, baby girl. I know you will do great things.
Friday, August 25, 2006
What's the name of that song?
I'll tell you -- it's a little tune that preschool/kindergarten teachers and parents everywhere call INSANITY.
Okay - - babies/children should come with a warning like cigarettes. It should read something like this:
"Warning: These children will bring stupid songs into your life and brain that you will NEVER be free of, and you may be driven insane as a result. Though completely ridiculous, you will often find yourself singing them, even when your children are nowhere to be found."
Here's an example...there is a Dr. Pepper commercial with this ridiculous "Manamanah" song in it. I had that song in my head for a good calendar year before the commercial put it there (I believe that's called an earworm) -- it's on one of Mitchell's Sesame Street cd's. Who needs to be wandering around with that soundtrack playing?
Would you like more of a sampling?
"Let's have a race, have a race, have a race! WHO can be the quickest? WHO will be the fastest?" That would be Thomas the Tank Engine.
By the way -- I found a good site for free kids' music downloads/listening in case you, too would like to take your own sanity on a vacation. (I find it hilarious that someone actually posted a message to tell others "I like this song" about Jimmy Crack Corn. Clearly I'm not on the bottom rung quite yet.)
Okay -- off to wait for Kermit the Frog to finish singing about singing (oh, the agony) so that I can sing it myself in the shower here in a few minutes.
Seriously...
(I love Grey's Anatomy...they talk like me!!)
Okay - - babies/children should come with a warning like cigarettes. It should read something like this:
"Warning: These children will bring stupid songs into your life and brain that you will NEVER be free of, and you may be driven insane as a result. Though completely ridiculous, you will often find yourself singing them, even when your children are nowhere to be found."
Here's an example...there is a Dr. Pepper commercial with this ridiculous "Manamanah" song in it. I had that song in my head for a good calendar year before the commercial put it there (I believe that's called an earworm) -- it's on one of Mitchell's Sesame Street cd's. Who needs to be wandering around with that soundtrack playing?
Would you like more of a sampling?
"Let's have a race, have a race, have a race! WHO can be the quickest? WHO will be the fastest?" That would be Thomas the Tank Engine.
By the way -- I found a good site for free kids' music downloads/listening in case you, too would like to take your own sanity on a vacation. (I find it hilarious that someone actually posted a message to tell others "I like this song" about Jimmy Crack Corn. Clearly I'm not on the bottom rung quite yet.)
Okay -- off to wait for Kermit the Frog to finish singing about singing (oh, the agony) so that I can sing it myself in the shower here in a few minutes.
Seriously...
(I love Grey's Anatomy...they talk like me!!)
Monday, August 21, 2006
Taking time to smell the flowers...
Is that a dumb saying or what?
Dumb, but I'm here to tell ya people, it's true.
Yesterday, that's exactly what we did and we had an amazingly peaceful, fun, happy day. Usually we're on the go, running errands, cleaning, doing yardwork, etc. on the weekends. Not yesterday.
I got up with the kids around 7:30 and we came downstairs and Georgia did her morning Jumperoo routine (which she's currently doing now) and Mitchell played trains and watched cartoons. We all had some cereal (yep -- all of us) and then Daddy came downstairs and had his cereal. We all got dressed and went for a walk.
Chris helped Mitchell with his tricycle and I pushed Georgia in M's old single stroller. We weren't on a schedule, so if there was a group of ants working on the side of the path, we stopped to watch them. There were lots of wildflowers growing and we LITERALLY stopped to smell them.
As Mitchell was pedaling himself down the path ahead of us, I told Chris that the picture of him doing that will be in my head forever. Burned in there. I think it's because he was the perfect example of a little boy's innocence. He had on his Dale Jarrett hat, just like Daddy and he told me on the walk "Hey, Mommy - I'm Dale Jarrett!" He was making vroooooommmm sounds as he pedaled as fast as his little legs would go and it was clear -- in his mind, he wasn't on a wildflower lined path through our neighborhood, he was IN the Daytona 500! Watching him from behind, I knew that someday that imagination and that innocence will begin to be taken from him -- the world doesn't allow us to carry those with us for too long. So, I decided to do that right then -- burn into MY brain so I'd never forget it. I told Chris I'm sure it will be in my head when it's time to get his learner's permit. I'll be in tears remembering my little DJ pedal down the path.
Anyway -- we went to the park and had a great time. We had the whole place to ourselves, which was fantastic. Sometimes it's nice if there are other kids for Mitchell to play with, but yesterday it was nice to just be the four of us. Georgia took her first ride on the big swing and loved it. She would giggle every time she came forward towards us and couldn't quite figure out what in the world Mitchell was doing next to her (he was going sky high in his). Georgia and I raced Mitchell down the side by side slides. Georgia and Mitchell played a very lovely duet on the piano. Chris showed Mitchell how to REALLY splash in a rain puddle with your hands. I laughed with Chris and said "Ahhhh, suburbia." One day I was REALLY glad to live in a happy little neighborhood.
We walked home and Mitchell pedaled away again. He did try to crash a bbq at the little picnic table shelter near the park, which amused us all -- and thankfully the bbq'ers, too. We got home and Chris made us all a yummy brunch. (He makes a very good breakfast burrito.) Ate that and then we just all chilled out in the living room. Georgia went to bed somewhere in there. The race was on, so the boys had fun watching that while I did some reading and dinking around on the web. Mitchell snuggled up with me on the sofa and fell asleep. Precious. That doesn't happen very often anymore.
After our long rest time, Chris and I were both itching to just get out of the house and "go do something" but we didn't want to spend any money. So, we decided to stop at the store, get some snacks and head to the airport. Mitchell is fascinated with airplanes right now, so we parked at the waiting area and watched the planes land. None of them took off right in front of us until about 2 minutes before we left the parking area. Kind of a bummer.
Not to be denied, Chris decided to drive back by the car rental places alongside the runways. With all the new security things, you can't just stop on the side of the road to watch anymore, which is a necessary shame. We did find a pretty good spot just next to the gas station and when we rolled down the windows, Mitchell got to HEAR those engines roar as they took off just a few hundred yards from the car. He would absolutely light up like a candle and yell "Wow, Daddy, what do you call it???" and Chris would tell him what kind of plane it is. (I guessed 737 at every one and was never right, in case you are wondering.)
Headed home and played some trains and racecars. Rattled some rattled, stacked some blocks. Chris made dinner (yes, I'm aware that he spoils me on the weekends) which was totally yummy. The kids were both wiped out from our really long but fun day, so we skipped baths and just got them into bed.
Seriously, people...that kind of day could very well be the stuff heaven throws my way.
Dumb, but I'm here to tell ya people, it's true.
Yesterday, that's exactly what we did and we had an amazingly peaceful, fun, happy day. Usually we're on the go, running errands, cleaning, doing yardwork, etc. on the weekends. Not yesterday.
I got up with the kids around 7:30 and we came downstairs and Georgia did her morning Jumperoo routine (which she's currently doing now) and Mitchell played trains and watched cartoons. We all had some cereal (yep -- all of us) and then Daddy came downstairs and had his cereal. We all got dressed and went for a walk.
Chris helped Mitchell with his tricycle and I pushed Georgia in M's old single stroller. We weren't on a schedule, so if there was a group of ants working on the side of the path, we stopped to watch them. There were lots of wildflowers growing and we LITERALLY stopped to smell them.
As Mitchell was pedaling himself down the path ahead of us, I told Chris that the picture of him doing that will be in my head forever. Burned in there. I think it's because he was the perfect example of a little boy's innocence. He had on his Dale Jarrett hat, just like Daddy and he told me on the walk "Hey, Mommy - I'm Dale Jarrett!" He was making vroooooommmm sounds as he pedaled as fast as his little legs would go and it was clear -- in his mind, he wasn't on a wildflower lined path through our neighborhood, he was IN the Daytona 500! Watching him from behind, I knew that someday that imagination and that innocence will begin to be taken from him -- the world doesn't allow us to carry those with us for too long. So, I decided to do that right then -- burn into MY brain so I'd never forget it. I told Chris I'm sure it will be in my head when it's time to get his learner's permit. I'll be in tears remembering my little DJ pedal down the path.
Anyway -- we went to the park and had a great time. We had the whole place to ourselves, which was fantastic. Sometimes it's nice if there are other kids for Mitchell to play with, but yesterday it was nice to just be the four of us. Georgia took her first ride on the big swing and loved it. She would giggle every time she came forward towards us and couldn't quite figure out what in the world Mitchell was doing next to her (he was going sky high in his). Georgia and I raced Mitchell down the side by side slides. Georgia and Mitchell played a very lovely duet on the piano. Chris showed Mitchell how to REALLY splash in a rain puddle with your hands. I laughed with Chris and said "Ahhhh, suburbia." One day I was REALLY glad to live in a happy little neighborhood.
We walked home and Mitchell pedaled away again. He did try to crash a bbq at the little picnic table shelter near the park, which amused us all -- and thankfully the bbq'ers, too. We got home and Chris made us all a yummy brunch. (He makes a very good breakfast burrito.) Ate that and then we just all chilled out in the living room. Georgia went to bed somewhere in there. The race was on, so the boys had fun watching that while I did some reading and dinking around on the web. Mitchell snuggled up with me on the sofa and fell asleep. Precious. That doesn't happen very often anymore.
After our long rest time, Chris and I were both itching to just get out of the house and "go do something" but we didn't want to spend any money. So, we decided to stop at the store, get some snacks and head to the airport. Mitchell is fascinated with airplanes right now, so we parked at the waiting area and watched the planes land. None of them took off right in front of us until about 2 minutes before we left the parking area. Kind of a bummer.
Not to be denied, Chris decided to drive back by the car rental places alongside the runways. With all the new security things, you can't just stop on the side of the road to watch anymore, which is a necessary shame. We did find a pretty good spot just next to the gas station and when we rolled down the windows, Mitchell got to HEAR those engines roar as they took off just a few hundred yards from the car. He would absolutely light up like a candle and yell "Wow, Daddy, what do you call it???" and Chris would tell him what kind of plane it is. (I guessed 737 at every one and was never right, in case you are wondering.)
Headed home and played some trains and racecars. Rattled some rattled, stacked some blocks. Chris made dinner (yes, I'm aware that he spoils me on the weekends) which was totally yummy. The kids were both wiped out from our really long but fun day, so we skipped baths and just got them into bed.
Seriously, people...that kind of day could very well be the stuff heaven throws my way.
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