No plans...

It is SOOOO nice to say that we have no plans for today. None. At all. Not one thing.

Sometimes life just gets too crazy and I end up just running around. Whether it's running from here to school, running errands, heck...running up and down the stairs 49 times doing laundry... it just feels good to have a day where I can sit on my bootie and not do a darn thing if I don't want to.

Is there laundry to do? You betcha. Dirty dishes? Definitely. Bathrooms to clean? Of course!

Guess what -- there are also oatmeal cookies to bake, naps to take, books to read, kids to play with, a husband to cuddle with and good music to enjoy. My couch needs me today. Those cookies are DYING for me to whip them up. The backyard finally gobbled up my two guys and their soccer ball.

What a great day -- for doing NOTHING. (We are going to church though.)

Totally on a different topic -- just picked Georgia up out of the swing to put her in the pack n play for the rest of her nap. I absolutely LOVE IT when I pick her up and she gets all froggy with her legs and little but. Ugh. She's gonna grow too fast...soon she won't fit on my chest, under my chin all snuggled up. Too soon I'm going to be holding someone else's newborn saying "My kids were never this little."

Leave it to me to cry about her getting too big when she's the littlest she'll ever be. Sigh. As if I don't have enough to worry about. I think for today -- I'll just decide to cherish her the way she is and give her more snuggles and kisses than she needs.

Off to the oven for some cookies!!!

I have two children.

That is the strangest thing to say.

"Hi. I'm Tara. I have two children." WHAT?!?! How in the wide world did this happen? Okay, hee hee, I know HOW it happened, I just mean...how did this happen so fast? When did I blink? I feel like it was just yesterday that we were bringing Mitchell home from the hospital and now he's the "Big" brother. Blows my mind.

Chris and I were driving the other day and he said "So, we're a family of four now." I said "I know...it's weird, huh?" It's definitely a good thing and we are of course thrilled that Georgia is here and part of our family...it's just quite strange to have it be a reality.

We have two carseats. We have a highchair and a booster seat. We have a crib and a big boy bed. We have a boy and a girl. We have a swing next to the train table. It's just so bizarre.

I know it will get harder -- I haven't left the house by myself with both of them yet, but so far so good. I did get both of them ready by myself on Tuesday and we were out the door in time for school, so that was good. (I let Chris sleep in -- sort of wanted to do it as a test run.) I think Georgia is falling into a pretty good feeding routine that will work out with us getting out of here on time in the mornings.

I think the most surprising thing about having two kids is how it feels to say that out loud. We are so very blessed...two little cutie pies. What did we ever do without them??? (And what in the world did I do with my TIME???)

Georgia is here!!!

Okay, so a week and a half later...and I finally remembered that I have a blog! :)

After all of that stuff leading up to her birth, really all it took was someone telling her she COULDN'T be born last weekend, and boom...there she was, insisting on it! Apparently the doctor on call from my ob practice requested no inductions last weekend because she had a big charity function to attend. Well, Saturday afternoon Georgia decided to kick things into gear anyway.

I got a big, huge contraction out of the blue, enough to double me over on the bed and use some breathing to get through it. I told Chris that it was DEFINITELY a real contraction and that I thought this was the day. We kept our eye on the contrax and for the most part they were 8-10 min. apart for the better part of 2 hours. When we called the ob to tell her that, she was hesitant to let us wait for my father in law at the house because she said you just never know how quick these 2nd babies want to come out. It ended up being fine. He arrived like 15 minutes later and we were on our way.

We got to the hospital around 5, and by the time we got checked in, up to the L & D floor, settled in, paperwork filled out, etc. they checked me and I was at 5 cm and totally thinned out. I about did a happy dance!! I told them that my plan was to hang out and walk around as long as I could before getting my epidural because I didn't want to be stuck in bed the whole time. They were fully supportive of that and we were on our way. Unfortunately, it was all back labor again. That pretty much stunk, but you take what is given to you, right? I actually felt good about just breathing through them and doing this little hula hoop swishy circle thing my nurse showed me. My AMAZING coach and hubby did a great job of helping me through them and we had a good laugh at him hula hooping along with me for awhile. They started getting stronger and I had Chris push really hard on my lower back to get me through them for the middle-last part of the time.

Oh, I should add that since my doctor was at the charity function, she had another doctor covering for her. Not a doctor from my practice, but someone entirely different. Never heard of her, never met her, knew nothing about her. I do know that if our doctors trust her, then I have good reason to trust her, so I tried to go with that, even though I was pretty nervous about it. She came to see me and the plan was to get my epidural at 9, then break my water and go from there.

Well, at about 8:30 I got a KILLER contraction and I looked at Chris and said "Okay, this is getting stupid now" and we decided to just go ahead and get the epidural at that point. So, about 15 minutes later we got that going. Ironically, even though I lost the pain, the hour or so after getting my epi was the absolute WORST part of my labor. I got the shakes like CRAZY, my blood pressure dropped a bit and I was TOTALLY nauseated. I just felt really scared...our AWESOME nurse (Danny was his name) told me that it was partially because I'd been in total control of everything for so long and now I didn't have that control. Makes sense, huh? Anyway, we cleared out my family (mom, dad, brother, sister in law) to the waiting room and just tried to concentrate on resting, breathing and calming down. Worked pretty well.

I stalled out at about an 8, but you know, that may have just been Miss Georgia biding her time until my doctor was done with her dinner engagement. She got to the hospital around 10, checked me and had them start pitocin. An hour later and we were good to go. I pushed for about 20 minutes and everything was over. She came out and was good and healthy from the start.

I cried when she cried and just couldn't believe how fast it all went. She weighed 8 lbs, 1 oz and was 20 inches long. She has black hair, just sort of peach fuzzy on top and then quite a bit in the back. She's gorgeous and sweet and we are SOOOO beyond blessed to have her in our family.

I was right...we didn't know we were missing her here until she showed up. It's like she's always been here. Mitchell loves her and Chris and I are completely smitten. It's crazy that you'd choose to return to these sleepless, worrisome nights, but every time we hold her and look at her, there's no question that she was meant to be from the start. She's a little miracle and my heart is full with love and appreciation for the gift of her life with ours.

What a great day!!

And I didn't even have my baby!! :) I know, I know...if you've read any of this then you're wondering how it's possible that my miserable self managed to enjoy an actual day of pregnancy at this point. Well, it's simple...my hubby and my little boy did it for me.

We got up yesterday morning, lounged around, ate some breakfast and got Mitchell ready for school. Chris and I dropped him off together -- he did pretty good again, yay! -- and came back home. Neither of us had showered yet, so we did that and decided to try and eject Georgia with another DTD session -- obviously unsuccessful, but we did laugh through most of it. Finished getting ready and had a nice lunch at Quiznos. I swear, they have the BEST sandwiches, but my good gracious they're expensive. It was $17 for a kid's pack and our 2 sandwiches. At a sub place, but oh well...we chowed down. :)

We picked Mitchell up, who promptly informed us that he had a great day!! Hooray!! Oh, and EVERYONE was like "You're still pregnant?" Um, yeah...thanks there Captain Obvious and crew. (See me rolling my eyes.) Seriously, what do people expect your response to be? I'm SO over telling people about my last appt, how far I'm dilated, when our induction appt is, blah blah blah. Just wish us well and move on with your lives, people. Oh well, that was the last time I have to endure that torture, because he doesn't have school again until Tuesday and that will be baby-having day if she doesn't come before then!!

So, after we got Mitchell settled in the car with his lunch, we drove to the fire station to get the car seats checked. I've had M's seat checked there several times and got the information off of our hospital's website. Well, we pull up and I go to ring the doorbell for some assistance and there's this sign on the door. "Due to city budget cuts, the educational programs and car seat checks have been discontinued." :( Isn't that sad? We called my mom to have her look on the internet and the only other place doing any checks yesterday was like a 45 minute drive. No thank you. (Besides, Chris wouldn't waste the gas -- hee hee.) So, that's still on the ol' "to do" list. I think there's a place doing them today so we might swing up that way and get it done.

So...Chris asks if I want to go see my Grandpa at the cemetary. I was talking about him earlier in the day and how much I miss him, and we didn't end up making it out around Christmas so I said sure. Mitchell fell asleep in the car, so we just left him in there while we visited the gravesite. (It was like 100 yards away -- don't worry.) Usually I just like to go see, remember some special memories and say "Hi". Well, I got really emotional yesterday -- just kept thinking about how much he would LOVE spending time with Mitchell and how he's probably hog the cuddling of one Miss Georgia Reagan upon her arrival. I just started crying -- poor Chris. He said he didn't mean to make me sad --well, duh. Not you making me sad, buddy. I just miss him a lot, but I'm glad we went to see him. I know he's watching over us.

So, Mitchell was awake when we got to the car so we changed his pull up and drove to the BEST park a few miles away. The boys had an absolutely FANTASTIC time together. They were climbing and sliding and running and jumping. Just having so much fun. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, so that was a bonus, too. We let Mitchell play for about half an hour and then decided to get some walking in. There is a little pond you can walk around at this park, so we headed that way. It was like paydirt for Mitchell -- TONS of ducks and geese flying in and swimming in the melted section of the frozen pond, and on the other side, a HUGE excavator and dump truck working hard. He saw the truck after hearing the "Boom" from the rocks being dumped in and said "Whooooaaaaa...look at that, you guys!! That's AWESOME." :) So, we watched the trucks for awhile, then we watched the ducks/geese for awhile. He would just giggle like crazy when they'd fly in. It was such a fun time! We took my 40 week belly shots in front of the pond, actually.

Then we coaxed (okay, bribed) Mitchell back to the car with the chocolate chip cookie from his kid's pack lunch. Drove home and we all just bummed around until we were hungry for dinner. I watched Oprah and took a nap, not sure what the boys did -- they watched the repeat of the Daytona 500 and played ball, I know that. Then we got up, went to dinner and came home. We watched the Olympics and read with Mitchell. (By the way, Mitchell loves to watch "The Impics." :) Put him to bed and called it a night.

It was such a fun day. Chris and I were talking while we were driving and I told him I was so sorry that he was missing work. He said that he wasn't sorry at all. He said the reason he works so hard is so that he can enjoy some family time without having to worry about having enough vacation or sick days -- he can take them when he needs them. Says he doesn't have one ounce of guilt about not being at work -- said this IS paternity leave. I'm where I'm supposed to be. He also told me that there's a big wide world out there that he misses every day by sitting in his office and to be able to see it through Mitchell's eyes and share it with us as a family is his favorite thing to do and he wouldn't trade it for anything. It was really nice to hear him say those things because I really felt like my little false alarm meant he was wasting his time -- he thinks he'd really be wasting all of our time if he was at work. Sigh. Love him.

Not sure what's up for today...and I kind of like it that way. Don't get me wrong...I'm still READY for her to make her entrance and join our family, but another day like yesterday wouldn't be so bad.

Strange goings on...

Well, I had some pretty good contractions last night during Georgia's normal active period. Enough to make me stop what I was doing...and enough to start timing them when Chris got home. They were like 10-15 minutes apart most of the time. The funny thing is I got REALLY tired and just conked out, so I think I probably slept through quite a few of them last night. I'm HOPING this is the start of something, but who knows.

Chris was going to go to work today but decided he'd rather stay home -- doesn't want to leave me. I'm glad. We'll see what happens.

This sucks...

Okay, so EVERYTHING has annoyed me today. Mitchell woke up in a cranky, sassy mood and that pretty much put me in the same frame of mind, unfortunately. It's just hard not to start off on the wrong foot when you have a whiney, sassy kid following you around being mouthy at 6:30 a.m. Poor Chris -- I think he just really tried to stay out of my way today, which was probably smart. He took Mitchell to run some errands after lunch and they showed up at home with some ice cream -- even smarter move. :)

I don't know...I just felt sort of "on edge" today. Not mad, not upset, just very irritable. Mitchell didn't take a nap today so we're getting ready to head up to the bathtub and then bedtime early tonight. He's so cute...he's sitting there reading books to himself right now. I asked him if he wanted me to read to him and he said "No, mommy...I'm reading by myself." It's so cute to hear them read the stories in their own words. His favorite book right now is "The New Baby" by Mercer Mayer. He reads it probably 5 times a day. Hope that's a good sign.

We decided that Chris will go back to work tomorrow and Friday so that he can take 2 more days off next week and not go back to work until the 13th. That would be great if it works out like that...we'll just see.

I've had lots more contractions yesterday and today...when I have them now, it's strange. It's almost like it frames Georgia -- like I have a cinder block in there -- gets all boxy. They're definitely stronger and more obvious, but not hurting and not regular...yet. We'll see. Chris did leave to go coach his mock trial team...maybe that's all it will take!! Him leaving for that and threatening to go back to work and we'll trick her out! :)

Anyway...at least we'll come home to a clean, much more organized house. We got a LOT of stuff done today...sorted through the toys in the living room, moved some up to Mitchell's room, moved books/office stuff out of the other half of Mitchell's closet, etc. I also did the floors again, dusted, and cleared out the junk mail. I think I'll throw a load of laundry in tonight after I put him to bed and then I'll call it a day myself.

Did I mention I'm ready for her to come out? I am...very ready. Sigh.

Forget it...

I'm done trying to be happy and cheerful the whole time. I want my baby and I want her now!! I know in the grand scheme of things, a week is only a matter of 7 days. I know this...I'm a logical, rational, thinking person. I'm aware that a week's time is nothing. But you know what, when you've spent the last 40 weeks with this date firmly cemented in your family's future history -- a week beyond it DOES seem like a long time.

I mean, what if you had your dream vacation planned for the 20th and the 20th gets here, your bags are packed, the house is clean, everyone (and I mean the entire free world) knows you're "leaving", you get to the airport and find out your plane is delayed. Delayed? For how long? Well, not sure. It COULD be that things could go into motion on their own and your plane could leave anytime now -- go home and wait to see if that happens. If nothing happens before the 27th, then call us at 7:30 p.m. on the 27th and we'll tell you if THAT flight to Hawaii has room for you. If not, then we'll certainly get you in as soon as possible.

NOW does it seem like a long time, people????????? Because it sure does to me!!!!!! I think the thing that's also complicating things is that Chris had to schedule his paternity leave WAAAYYY ahead of time. I guess we should have anticipated this (hindsight-right?) and had it start NEXT Monday? But you know, then she would have been early.

Anyway... I know people just try to make you feel better, but in the moment, a week feels like an eternity to me.

Trying to enjoy it...

After we put Mitchell to bed last night, Chris and I were laying in bed watching tv and talking. I think he's probably so sick of hearing "Are you excited?" "Are you nervous?", etc. Seems like I'm always trying to see if his current emotional state matches mine. He's such a sweet guy though, never sighs or rolls his eyes like "Dang, woman -- leave me alone," which is what I'm sure he'd love to do. He indulges me and takes part in my little conversations.

We were talking last night about how rare a moment we might be enjoying. Laying in our bed before 10pm with no noise in the house, having a quiet conversation. I know that I've been so antsy for her to arrive, but I know once Georgia's here, it's gonna be all chaos and even when we *can* be in bed together at night, we'll both just fall in exhausted and sleep like logs. There will be middle of the night feedings, pumpings, diaper changes, blowouts/clothes changings, etc. Not to mention, I have NO idea if all that commotion will impact Mitchell since the changing table is on the same wall as his bed. You know what -- that thought never even ENTERED my mind until now-- I hope it's not a big problem. Good thing he's a sound sleeper -- guess we'll find out just how sound though. Might have to get another plan in place for middle of the night changes if she's a big crier.

Anyway -- I think instead of obsessing over how much longer until we get to meet her, I need to start appreciating what we already have. Not to say I'm not still excited to hold her and get her out here as part of our family, but there are still *some* advantages to having her in my tummy. Sleep and rest and quiet being three off the top of my head. :)

Today's my due date, by the way. Off to the doctor at 10:15, and hopefully we'll come home with a planned birthday for her, in case she doesn't choose her own before then.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

It's FREEZING here. Yesterday the high was in the teens and the windchill at night is WELL below zero. So what did Chris and I decide would be a great thing to do yesterday? Yes, that's right...we put carseats in the car. In the freezing car. Inside of the freezing garage. For like an hour and a half. As you can imagine, by the end of that time, there was a mix of laughter and snippiness with each other. I have no idea why putting that infant base in was such an ordeal, but for whatever reason, it was. By the time I got inside, my butt cheeks were LITERALLY frozen. Just so cold. So I sat on them...warmed them up nicely that way!! :)

I can't imagine not having somewhere to live right now and trying to deal with that cold. Just even walking out to get the paper puts a chill in your bones for at least a few minutes. I know there are shelters and places like that, but you know not everyone is able to get to one for whatever reason.

On that same topic, we were watching the Olympics yesterday and the announcers happened to mention that the bobsled hill cost $93 million dollars to construct. How in the world can Italy find that kind of extra money? Or Greece for the previous summer ones to build a big stadium? Or Salt Lake City? And then what happens to those places? Do they get torn down? Do they just sit? I guess I don't get it -- doesn't seem like the best idea to just keep building these random things in random places to get used for 2 weeks when there are so many better ways to use the money. I mean -- if you really stop to think about the Olympics and how much money it takes to put them on -- it's astounding.

Anyway...not sure why I was thinking about that, I just was.

I got all of the cleaning done, which makes me feel great. I was watching the video from when we brought Mitchell home the other day and GOOD LORD our house was nasty. There was stuff EVERYWHERE!! Now, true, it was the beginning of the Christmas season, so I still had some decorating boxes out and stuff, but it was clutter city!! Those were the days when we still had a coffee table (which is LONG gone now) and you couldn't even SEE it, there was so much stuff on it. I refused to have that happen again, so we're looking good now. Even all of our laundry (except for yesterday's stuff) is clean. Chris' dress shirts -- everything! Feels good. I think today I'll run the vaccuum again and clean the kitchen from top to bottom. I also need to sterilize my breast pump parts and the bottles and nipples so those are all good to go. I think I'll also get Chris to pull out the fridge and oven for me so I can clean behind there. Been bugging me for some reason. Other than that, we're good and she can come anytime now!! If not, we have a dr. appt on Monday morning.

In other words, don't look for a new post until after my appointment tomorrow. Sigh.

Well, if it means anything...

I cleaned like I'd never get the chance again yesterday. I'm a little sore today, but it feels good to have it done. I have several more things to check off of my cleaning list today, but we'll just see what the day brings. It sure would be nice to get it all done and bring her home to a nice, organized clean home. Ha!! Right. Like it will stay like this or something. Not.

With Mitchell I never had the "nesting" thing kick in. Might have been busy using that up at work, trying to get ready for maternity leave. With Georgia so far, it's just been organizing and de-cluttering. Yesterday though, I just felt like kicking it into high gear with cleaning. Plus, it was cold and snowy out, so that helped that we were in for the day. Same thing today, so we'll see what happens.

I'm at the point where the majority of our phone calls and/or emails are either daily checkins from family or "Is she here yet" inquiries from family/friends. It's nice to be thought of and prayed for, but it would also be nice to not have to say "Not yet" and tell how I'm doing 14,000 times a day. (Okay, maybe not quite that many.) Know what's funny? Even Mitchell asked me yesterday "Is she ready to come out of your tummy yet?" I guess maybe I must look like she can't possibly stay in there any longer or something, huh?

I'm really excited that Chris is done with work after today. Maybe she'll come this weekend on her own...or in the first part of next week? That would be GREAT!! We'd love that! Too bad we're not in charge. Funny how these babies run the show even before they take their first breaths, huh? Oh well...at least we still have time to install the car seat! (Um, yeah...can you tell Chris has put that little task off? I'm ANAL about it so I'm about ready to do it myself!!!)

The waiting game continues...

Stiiiiilllll going...

Had my 39 week appointment yesterday. No change. Nothing doing. It was with the doctor I'm probably least comfortable with in the practice. She's not very friendly...not unfriendly, just I always get the impression that she'd rather be somewhere else. She never tries to familiarize herself with me, my situation, anything personal like that. Just all business. I guess that's good because I'm sure she'd be great at actually delivering the baby -- but it's such a personal experience that I prefer someone who also wants to know you and a little bit about you. I would think it would be quite an honor and privilege to be part of helping someone's family grow and bringing a new life into the world. I guess that's just me...I'd try to make sure that the personal part of it was as as important to me as the medical/business part of it if I were an OB. Oh well... hopefully she won't be on call when I need to deliver, but if she is, it will be fine.

My friend gave me very good advice yesterday. She told me that as hard as it is, to try to take a step back and appreciate the experience. Focus on the amazing child I've been raising for the past three years and see him in a new light. Concentrate on what truly a miracle it is to have another little person growing inside of me and appreciate what a blessing it is to be able to do this. I think she's absolutely right. This is the last child for us, so these are the last few days I'll EVER be pregnant, and as miserable as I am at times, I know I'll miss it. As eager as I am to hold and cuddle and snuggle her, I know I'll miss watching her move inside of me...there's just something magical about it.

Anyway...I'm trying to not to be too big of a complainer here at the end, but sometimes it's just hard. It will be over soon and we'll have her to hold and this will seem like forever ago. I do remember that. Waiting is hard in general...like waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting for a package to come in the mail, waiting for a phone call from a friend, waiting for a loved one to come home. I can honestly say though that waiting for a little person that you helped create and grow into a strong, healthy human being is the hardest waiting of all. That said, it's more than worth it.

Random thoughts on a Sunday morning...

Well, if you'd like to know, the title for each new blog post is usually the stumper for me. Since I don't have a specific topic in mind this morning, thought I'd just call it what it is and be done with it.

I felt AWFUL yesterday -- bathroom issues. My dad and mom were sweet enough to take Mitchell to a friend's birthday party for me, which ended up being a good thing. I didn't feel okay again until I woke up this morning. The issues resolved like mid-afternoon, but I still didn't feel really great. I found out that not only did they go, but that my sister in law, brother, 2 nephews and my sil's sister all went too. I really couldn't believe it when I heard that -- who would ever think to do that? (My family, obviously.) I was of course concerned about how my friend received them. I mean, it was in a restaurant that has tons of kids anyway, but I just felt bad that the focus was supposed to be on Mitchell's little friend and here comes my herd of a family. Apparently they got their own table, but I feel bad about that. I think that Mitchell should have sat at the table with his buddy, not with my family. Anyway, nothing I can do about it now -- I just feel bad about it. My sister in law called last night and said she'd like to send my friend's little boy a book or something with a thank you note for being so nice, which is a nice gesture. Ugh. Oh well...can't worry about it now. I just left my friend a message apologizing for the crashing of his party. I really hope she's not mad. I had no idea that would happen or in all honesty, I would never have had them take him. I just know Mitchell loves that place (it's the same place we had his party), he was excited to see his buddy and we already had the gift.

Anyway...today we're going to Sam's Club. I'm already cringing thinking about how much the total will be at the checkout stand. We have a hard time getting out of there for under 2 or 3oo on our normal trips, and we really want to stock up today. Plus, we've really run down our freezer and pantry supplies lately, so I think it would be more than usual anyway. Oh well...we've got it figured out, just those big numbers are hard to hear! It sure will be nice to bring baby home to a well stocked freezer and pantry though. At least for those first couple of weeks, or hopefully the first month or so.

Chris is excited because NASCAR starts again today. I'm happy for him, but my goodness, they just finished like 2 weeks ago, I swear!!! It's like the neverending sport season. This also means that we were in Daytona for the big race a year ago...strange. I was at my thinnest, having some beer, eating blue cheese, staying up late, etc. I think that's one of the things about having a baby...for the rest of the family, it really kicks in when baby comes home. For the woman carrying the baby...you pretty much start giving up things from day one. I want to try and breastfeed again for at least 6 months, so by the time it's all said and done, that's a good year and half or so of my body not being my own. I know it sounds selfish but I'm ready to have it back to myself.

Last night Georgia was a maniac when I was trying to go to bed. She was REALLY on the move, kicks and punches in my sides, in my ribs, out my hoo-haa (I swear!). Chris was downstairs doing some work, so I was all alone and silly as it sounds, I sat up after about 10 minutes and had a chat with my little girl. It was after 10 pm, I was wiped out and all those movements really HURT. I sat up and said "Look, Georgia. Either screw your head way down in there and break my water or settle down and go to sleep." 5 minutes later she decided to go to sleep. I actually only got up once to go to the bathroom last night and Mitchell slept till 7. I feel much better today...amazing what some rest can do for the body. I actually woke up because I heard her mobile playing music...he LOVES it. He was standing in there watching and listening to it. He said "Hi, Mommy. I like her mobile-wheel." :) He's such a cutie. It's just bizarre because the last time he was so in love with it, he was a little infant boy laying in his crib giggling every time the yellow guy went around. Sigh. How'd he get to be so big??

Okay, before I get mushy I'm gonna go. Let me just say that I wouldn't be opposed to a little help from the full moon tomorrow night. A Valentine baby would be fine by me at this point. I'm ready to have her here.

Heartburn bites the big one..

Just in case any of you weren't aware, heartburn sucks. Especially when you're a week and a half away from your due date, snuggled into a warm bed while it's snowing outside, and otherwise generally comfy (which doesn't happen very often). I actually had such bad heartburn last night that I nearly vomited...that's rare for me, so you know it was bad. It is now 5:20 a.m. and I've been up since 1:30. Lovely, eh? Should make for a SPECTACULAR day. Not.

Well, I had my 38 week appt yesterday...not very thrilling. I'm one centimeter dilated but still have a high, thick cervix. My bp was fine, her heartbeat was strong, nothing up with the urine... in other words, nothing doing. I have my next appt on Wednesday morning...it's with the one doctor I really didn't "click" with so much last time, so I hope I feel better about it this time. I also still haven't seen the doctor who actually delivered Mitchell, but with any luck she won't be the one on call when I deliver and it won't matter. Otherwise, I guess I'll just make my next appt with her just in case.

My new dilemma is figuring out if we should try to push for an induction on or RIGHT after our due date (the 20th). Since I went into labor on my due date with Mitchell, Chris' leave worked out great. This time, I'd really, REALLY like to have some time to bond as a family before he has to go back, so I'd really hate it if half of his two weeks off was spent just hanging out, waiting for her to be born. As of yesterday, the doctor told me that we have my next week appt at 39 weeks, then if I make it to my 40 week appt, we can schedule an induction for 5-7 days afterwards before I leave the office. I'm *hoping* it doesn't come to that, but thinking about asking for an induction instead of an appt at 40 weeks was my idea in the car on the way home. I wonder if they'd give me a hard time about that? I haven't had any issues along the way (health-wise), and she's measuring a few days ahead anyway. I guess we'll just see.

Next Monday is a full moon...I wonder if it might "pull" me into labor? I wouldn't mind a Valentine Baby...not at all. I wonder if she would enjoy it though? I know some people don't enjoy having their birthdays near holidays...I wonder if that would be one she'd hate to share. Personally, I wouldn't mind...never been real big into Valentine's Day as it is. It might suck as a kid though...the Valentine parties were always fun...decorating your little "mailbox", passing out valentines and candy. She would have to share her birthday treats as part of the party I bet. Oh well...it's not for me to decide at this point! If she comes out then and ends up hating it, I'll tell her it's her own fault...she is the one who chose her birthday!! :)

Just another Thursday...

Well, technically it's our anniversary, but in reality it's just another Thursday. Mitchell has school, I have a doctor appointment, Chris has to work, I have swim class tonight. Yep, just the regular Thursday routine. His parents are going to keep Mitchell for us tomorrow night while we go to dinner, but nothing major and very close to home. I swear, with all that has gone on, it feels like we've been married for 14 years, not 4.

I think there's a plus side and a down side to not having anything on the calendar these next couple of weeks. I think I thought I was doing myself and Mitchell a favor by staying here, resting, not planning anything so close to my due date, but now I think we might get bored. I think we'll still make daily trips somewhere...Walmart for a 99 cent treat, the library, etc. Sitting around and waiting...not sure I can do that for 2 more weeks. My dad offered to come out here 2 days next week to help me "chase Mitchell". I gladly accepted since getting on the floor and playing is not exactly a good time for me anymore. Mitchell has been pretty patient for the most part and a very good boy, but bath time sucks and so does picking up toys at night. (I used to do it before nap time too, but now we just do it at night because it's a big ol' chore for me and this belly.) Yesterday we went to pick up my thyroid meds at the pharmacy and I told him if he was really good, I'd let him pick out a treat before we left. He was good...for the first 13 minutes of our 15 minute visit to the store. Then he started jogging in front of me (I had to get some bagels/cream cheese for MOPS tomorrow and some sprinkles for his Valentine's party at school on Tuesday) while I was shopping and wouldn't stop. I just get REALLY paranoid about someone grabbing him because I know that stores are prime places for that type of thing and I'm not exactly agile.

Soooo...I had to grab him by the shoulder of his coat when I got close enough and pull him to the front of the store, plop the stuff I was carrying around in a basket by the door and wrestle him (screaming) into a cart. Picked up my stuff out of the basket, threw it into the cart and tried to make the quickest exit possible. Of course he was in full on tantrum mode at that point, but *patting myself on the back*, I kept my cool. I was PISSED but just calmly told him how his behavior was unacceptable, I was very sad he was acting that way, and no treat for him. He was of course crying and screaming...thought about biting me and got a look at my face and thought twice (smart move)...but calmed down about 2 minutes into it when he figured out he wasn't going to get out or get a reaction out of me.

Nice, huh? Of course, by the time we get to the checkout lane he's quiet, wiping his eyes, and trying to apologize. I thanked him for his apology and let him know that he did indeed blow it with regard to his treat. I knew the next battle would be for control of the music in the car, so I politely informed him that we'd be listening to mommy's music in the car because he made such bad choices in the store. That started a mini-wave of tears, but he recovered pretty quickly and apologized again (without solicitation from me, I might add). 3 years old is proving to be an interesting phase...more of a sense of entitlement on his part that I think, is driven by independence. That seems to lead to pretty intense, though much shorter tantrums, followed by remorse and apologies that I usually don't even have to coach him through. He's turning into a little man, I tell ya!!

The cycle is a bit exhausting for me at this point, but then again, so is putting on my socks.

Little Miracles

Kids are little miracles, aren't they? I guess the closer I get to meeting our little girl, the more in awe of our little boy I am. Chris and Mitchell were "playing wrestling" (obviously I've opted out of this activity for awhile now) and I was just blown away watching them. I'm feeling my belly and all these little baby feet and kicks and movements and watching someone who started out there and is now doing flying leaps onto his daddy's belly for fun. Crazy.

I think that's the biggest difference between my last pregnancy and this one. Last time I was running around (okay, maybe not RUNNING) like a chicken with my head cut off right up until like 4 days before going into labor. I was trying to get ready for a half year (ended up being year and a half, but same idea) maternity leave at a really bad time to do that in the schools. It was conference time, which for me meant 4 nights of parent-teacher conferences to prepare for and attend since I had 2 schools. PLUS, I was trying to train the woman who was taking my position and trying to get testing/reports done through like spring break. (Even though it was the end of November.) I remember my last day was supposed to be the Friday before Thanksgiving and I ended up coming in on Monday and Tuesday anyway to finish testing and write reports. All I would do is get up early, get ready, go to work, gut it out, come home, make and eat dinner and then fall asleep on the couch until Chris woke me up to go upstairs to bed. That was my life. That was it.

This time...um, a bit different. No full time job to go to...my job is here at home. Some days, if I don't want to get out of my jammies until noon (or ever), I don't have to. I haven't worn half of my maternity wardrobe...namely the dresses, jumpers, dress pants, skirts and dressy blouses. Save for a couple of dinners out, parties and things like that, I mostly wear jeans and sweats. Sad, but true. I mean, I'm coloring, painting, doing playdough, playing blocks, giving baths, going to the grocery store, etc. It's not like anyone but Mitchell sees me half the time anyway. The thing that goes along with being more comfortable and a slower pace (thank GOD for that -- literally-- by the way) is that I have had more time to contemplate this pregnancy. I feel like I have more time to think about everything associated with it...especially now at the end.

In addition to more time, I now also have experience on my side and under my belt which makes thinking about labor and delivery, bringing her home, and the whole newborn thing very different than when I thought about these with Mitchell. I feel like I know more, but at the same time, there's so much I don't know with this one...it's a GIRL. We know boys. :) Besides, now we have Mitchell to contend with and worry about in addition to Georgia. Being able to handle that aspect of things (and get out the door when I need to) is probably what has me the most nervous. I've heard people say that it's REALLY hard to go from 1 to 2 kids...much easier to go from 2 to 3, which doesn't make much sense to me until I think *duh*...it's this transition. It's probably similar to the difficulty in adjusting from being single to being married, I imagine...just OBVIOUSLY on a much bigger scale.

I'm looking forward to everything for sure. I've been a little nostalgic this week. I wanted to show Mitchell some of his birth video so he could see us at the hospital and what a teeny tiny baby he was. He loved it but couldn't figure out where Ryan was when he saw his Aunt Jen and Uncle Tim...Ryan is 4 months younger! :) He was intrigued and I was misty eyed. Could that really be HIM on the screen? Was he EVER that tiny? Hearing his little newborn cry brought back feelings and memories I didn't expect...very strange. I had the same nostalgic feelings when I was going through his baby clothes, too. I washed them up for my sister in law who is on bedrest and due 2 weeks after me (but will probably have her baby first, I bet) and was just in a pool of tears looking at and remembering all of those precious clothes. I remembered going places and doing things with him in those outfits. The outfit he wore home from the hospital, his first shoes, the outfit he wore to the hospital when Ryan was born, the little jean jacket he wore when we took him to meet my mom's friends at bowling, etc. It was all just flooding back.

I can't wait to meet her and see what she looks like and feel her cute little baby bootie all snuggled up in the palm of my hand and smell that wonderful baby smell. I can't wait for Mitchell to meet her and I already cry thinking about that moment. He's been SO excited about everything...picked out a special toy to take to the hospital for her...it's the turtle from Baby Neptune. He's named it "Turtle the Turtis" by the way. I just am excited to see another little person start this big adventure called life and can't belive how fast it all goes.

I hate potty training...

and so does Mitchell, I'm pretty sure. I think the thing is...we've tried to be really laid back about the whole thing...making everything available and offering to help, but not pushing it. Usually we'll ask and he'll say "No thanks" or "Not right now" or something along those lines. The thing that Chris and I have COMPLETELY had it with is that the kid won't even TELL us when he needs a new pullup if he's pooped. It is just disgusting and nasty and the MOST irritating thing in my daily life at the moment. I mean, he's 3 years old, we haven't AT ALL pushed him in the potty training, we're not even requiring him to sit up there, we just want him to tell us when he needs a new pullup. That's it. Not hard. No punishment. But boy howdy do I get angry when I go to change him (if I haven't smelled it) and it's obviously been there and stuck on and mixed with pee and the whole 9 yards. Nothing guaranteed to get my goat sooner than that these days. Chris is right there with me.

We've told him OVER AND OVER that all he has to do is tell us, we'll get a new pullup, change him and be done with it. Nope. Not happening.

Well, I had reached my wits end Saturday night when he did it. I just told Chris we've got to start making something happen...I can't do this anymore. I can't explain why it makes me so angry/irritated, it just is a major hot button. (I'm sure preggo hormones factor in there somewhere, but it could be the fact that we've been doing this for so long now.) Anyway, Chris and I decided that yesterday, whether he liked it or not, Mitchell would be spending a good chunk of his day on the potty.

So he gets up yesterday morning and I inform him that before we go downstairs for the juice, cheerios, vitamins and cartoons ritual, he will be sitting on the potty. I got some minor whining and complaining, but nothing major. Sat up there, nothing happened, but at least he cooperated. Well, I also told him that I'd be setting the timer and when it went off, no matter what we were doing, we'd stop and go upstairs to try pottying again. "Okay, mommy." (Yeah, right...I've learned to add that mental response.) 45 minutes later, all hell breaks loose when the timer goes off. He just completely loses his mind. You know those hysterical crying, drooling, swatting instead of hitting, completely out of control meltdowns? Well, that's where we were when I was getting him on the potty.

Now here's the dilemma I faced...do I let him learn the lesson that if you throw a big enough fit, you'll get your way? Or, do I let him learn the lesson that he's going to have to start taking some active role in this even if he's not all that excited about it, and if that means stop playing with toys for a potty break, then that's what he needs to do. I do have to pat myself on the back and say that I remained super calm (on the outside -- I was really upset inside) but held him on there and told him that we could let him down when he calmed down. Chris was awakened by the commotion...I wouldn't be surprised if we woke the neighbors-- so he quickly came to my aid. He held him on there and it was a good 15 minutes or so of just freaking out on Mitchell's end. We asked "Is it hurting you?" "No." "Are you scared?" "No." If either of those had been yes...he'd have gotten down, but he was just being a stubborn little pill who didn't want to stop playing. (That's been the problem all along.) Now keep in mind that we have SEVERAL incentives built into the whole operation and we were reminding him of them...some are natural, some are tangible. When he finally stopped his freak out session, we talked a lot about why we were doing what we were doing.

We came back downstairs with the understanding that the next time the timer went off, he would again need to sit on the potty. We were really, really playing up the "big boy" part of all of this, as that's a big deal these days. Well, I'm glad we stuck to our guns and gutted out the 15 minutes of chaos because the timer went off and what do you know? He literally RAN to the stairs and said "Come on, mommy...it's time for me to sit on the potty!!" By the time I waddled up the stairs, he had his pants off and was climbing on the toilet seat. I about peed my own pants. Nothing productive, but hey...it was a start. Same thing the next 2 times the timer went off. And last night, there were two times he got this funny look on his face and said "I need to go potty." We got up there and you could tell he had JUST peed in his pullup, so I think he was starting to hook the two things up. This morning, he came over to tell me something and stunk to high heaven. I said "Mitchell, is there anything you need to tell me?" He said "Yeah, mommy. I pooped and I need a new pullup." I think my jaw dropped to the floor. I said "Well, please go get one and come right back." "Okay, mommy." And he did!!! Afterwards, he said "I told you mommy, I told you!!" He was so proud, heck, I was so proud...it felt really good.

This little teeny bit of progress makes me wish we'd been more forceful earlier, but the meltdown thing was always in the way. I just couldn't get past it because I had all of these "voices" (experts, friends, etc.) telling me that holding him up there and making it a negative experience was the worst possible thing I could do. Well, I tried to combat that by not letting him down until he was okay and it wasn't so bad anymore. I'm so glad we did because it does seem to have made an impact.

In the meantime, I still hate potty training. I think I need some tangible reinforcers to stay with it more than he does!!

I've done this before, right?

You'd think I'd be more "sure" about what the heck is going on. I had an interesting night of playing "is it labor" vs. "is it not" last night. I've decided on it's not. My back hurt, but that came and went (same with Mitchell's labor) and I was really uncomfortable with some contractions and having to go to the bathroom way more often. I just was very, very uncomfortable. I also think I lost small parts of my plug two days last week, so who knows what that means!! I think the thing I just can't get over is how foreign it all feels. You'd think that everything would just come rushing back, but nope. I feel like I've never done this before and that I'm no more clued in this time than I was last time. It's all a waiting game and I know you just take it as it comes. I've said all along that I doubt I'll go before Valentine's Day, so we'll just have to see how this all plays out. For now, I'll just rest when I can and listen to my body. (Whatever that means.)

I guess I just expected to feel more like I knew what was going on, but I don't. I am hoping it's not like this when she's here -- I better know what the heck I'm doing there!!

Tired...

I'm just really tired. REALLY tired. I can't figure out what Mitchell's deal is with napping either. I took him to the ped today for his cold stuff and he said that he very well could be giving up his nap. :-( Not sure I know how to put into words my level of disappointment about that timing. I really, REALLY looked forward to the two hours of quiet time alone every day and was very much looking forward to having those with the baby or still to myself if God would allow them to actually sleep at the same time. Now I'm left with "quiet time" in his room, but he is a very busy boy and "quiet time" is a relative term here. Ugh. Anyway...not so thrilled about that development. The thing that's frustrating is that he'll TOTALLY fall asleep in the car, but not when we get home. I worked my BOOTIE off keeping him awake today on our way home from dr. appointments, but do you think he'd sleep in his bed? Nope. At least he played upstairs for awhile.

Guess I forgot to tell the Big Guy Upstairs about my master plan, huh?

I love my husband...sap alert!!

I know I've been writing a lot about that lately, but I really do. I know that everyone goes through ups and downs in every relationship, but I've been so happy with the way that we've both worked so hard to stick together lately. He's been crazed (and I mean CRAZED) at work, I've been crazed at home, lots of holiday/family events, and of course trying to prepare Mitchell, ourselves and our home for a new baby. I think that there are times where it would be really easy to draw into ourselves and not work together...just kind of the "you do this, I'll do that" type of thing, but we really have worked as a team and rely on each other all of the time. I love it. Last night we laid on the bed and just talked for about 45 minutes after we put Mitchell down. It was so great...just talking about all sorts of things, holding hands...it was just so comforting. I have heard so many stories lately about people who have such difficult and awful relationships, so I feel extra lucky to be supported so completely.

I just love my husband and hope he knows how much. It means the world to me to be married to my best friend.

"Are you getting excited?" and other stupid questions...

Okay, maybe stupid is the wrong word, but come on people!! How many women do you know that wouldn't be excited (for a variety of reasons, I'll add) to have their child when they are 37 weeks pregnant??? I can't think of any. I mean, seriously. I'm the size of a small barge, can't tie my shoes let alone hoist my 3 year old into his carseat without some major groaning, and I've got aches and pains pretty much everywhere all of the time...yes, those are motivating factors for "getting excited" about this ending.

I'll tell ya what though, none of those even touches the fact that I just can't wait to meet this little PERSON inside of me. She is in there growing and moving and pretty soon she'll be out here in this crazy world with us, and I can't wait to hold her and snuggle her and just know that she's ours. It's funny because we struggled SO MUCH with our decision over when to try for #2, if we even should try for #2, etc. Now that we're at the point we're at, all I can feel is this little "ache" for the person I know is almosot here. It's like I know our family won't be complete until she joins us and I can't wait to see who she is. Who she looks like. What kind of temperment she has. If she has the CUTEST little bubble-butt-two-dinner-roll bootie like her brother has. If she has hair. All of that stuff. I just can't wait. Chris has always teased me because I did the same thing with Mitchell...he says all he remembers hearing for the last few weeks was "I just want to meet this baby." I always joke that I'd love to just unzip myself, take her out, give her a little squeeze and zip her back in until it's her time.

My old roommate came over for dinner last night (she's single, never married, no kids) and she was just in complete AMAZEMENT at Georgia's movements. (At this point in the game, my entire belly literally jumps and rolls...looks like I might be having a little octopus.) We were talking about where things might be (as in knees, feet, etc.) so I got out my Prepared Childbirth workbook I was looking at the other day and we were checking out the pictures. It really is pretty crazy...I mean your bladder is squished under EVERYTHING, your stomach is like in your armpit, God only knows where everything goes. The times I sit down to think about what a miracle it really is, the more in awe I am of the whole process, particularly how very, very lucky we are.

Anyway...I've moved from being depressed to being amazed. A good move, I'd say. As for everyone else, I've already started getting the "When are you due again?" and "No baby yet?" phone calls. Sigh. Oh well...they're all well intentioned, right? And I'm not overdue yet so none of them has gotten me irritated, but I think I might not answer the phone after my due date. I wonder which day she'll choose for her birthday. :)

Feeling like me again...

Will be a short little entry because I have a lot to get done today. I am feeling like myself again and the blues have been (thankfully) lifted. I really just felt like I was neck-deep in a blue funk and it sucked. Thank goodness for my sweet, sweet husband. I don't know what I would do without him. I am so relieved to not wake up in a cruddy mood, ready to cry at the drop of a hat. That's nice. :) I plan to enjoy my day today...busy as it will be. Not a very informative or interesting post today but I'm happy to report good news.

Feeling blue...

I don't exactly know what's wrong with me, but I've been down in the dumps all week. Literally. Some really tragic news (someone I've grown to just adore gave birth to her little girl this week, and she was stillborn) hit me especially hard and just compounded the whole emotional side of life. I really, honestly don't know what the deal is. I have a WONDERFUL husband who has really tried very hard to be there for me and even brought me flowers one night. Bless him for that...if I don't understand what the heck is up with me, how in the world could he possibly do that? We were talking about things this morning and I just lost it. Again. Bawling my head off, can't get under control. Nice. I ended up calling my friend to tell her I won't make it to her little guy's birthday party...no way in the world could I have pulled that off. I of course start crying when I tell her I'm not coming...she asks if I'm in labor. Ha! That would mean I have a reason...no, just looney. Ugh. My friend is in town from California as well, so I missed a chance to see her which I hate as well. This better be a little hormonal dip that is followed by some sunshine soon.

In addition to my hormonal bluesy week, Mitchell has been a pill...not sleeping, pretty sassy, in general...being an expert 3 year old. Well, yesterday he had 6 poops and they were the kind that just BURN the skin. I mean it was on fire!! Poor guy. He just cannot figure out that telling us he's gone will be okay...especially when it hurts like that. He was screaming at the top of his lungs "OWIE, OWIE, STOP TOUCHING MOMMY, IT HURTS MOMMY" etc. while I'm trying to clean him off. It's one thing to tag team that with Chris but by myself at 37 (almost) weeks preggo is just NOT a good thing. I ended up soaking his little bottom in the tub for 10 minutes a couple of times and have gone through a ton of little washcloths with warm water because the wipes just kill him. It's much better today...I cut out the dairy, and all he's had are plain noodles, some toast, dry cereal and some applesauce. He hasn't gone yet today so hopefully it was a one day thing, but I have no idea what triggered it. Just praying we're on the upturn.

Some good news is that everything is plugging along with the pregnancy. Georgia is fine, I'm fine, nothing to report. She's measuring almost a week ahead, but does that really even mean anything? I don't think so, other than she's bigger than her brother was at this point.

Well, I'm exhausted. Chris and I had a pretty big tiff today and I don't think either of us feel good about it at all. There were plenty of tears on my end which I'm sure he was hoping he'd already seen the last of. How do you explain to someone that you have no idea why you're crying, that you have no idea why you're being unreasonable, that you have no idea why everything is putting you on edge and making you upset? Men need reasons and logic and there's NONE to be had in this body. I'm hoping that he just cuts me some slack...again. Ugh. See, crying again just thinking about it. Mitchell was still sleeping, so he went to church on his own. Hopefully just being away from me for awhile will do him some good. Who'd have thought with the long hours he works that he'd want MORE time away from home? Wow. Not the kind of motivation I was hoping to dish out, but there I am. I made an effort to get outside and get some fresh air and sunshine...hope it sunk in. (Still feels like a rain cloud to me, but I'm working on it.)

Oh well. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

Ugh...

Okay, so why am I so incapable of doing some thinking during normal waking hours? Why does it have to be 4 am? I turn over and BOOM...my mind is going a million miles a minute. Finally at 4:15 I gave up and just came downstairs. The good news is that my new Snap N Go stroller is infant seat ready, and the infant seat is ready for the car! We only had one base for our carseat because they discontinued it like RIGHT after Mitchell was born and we were never able to find another. My brother and sister in law are letting us borrow their infant seat since it has two bases. My parents have one, so we thought we'd let my in laws use our old one in their car.

I have really been trying SOOOO hard not to spend money frivolously with this pregnancy. There are so many darn cute clothes and accessories (especially for little girls), but I've been REALLY good. I have so far only bought one outfit, if you can believe that. (You should see Georgia's closet and changing table though...packed to the GILLS, with only 0-3 clothes!!) Anyway, I was really, really wanting this pink chenille car seat cover for the infant seat. It's just so soft and plush and adorable, but it's also like $65 and a total waste of money. I came SOOO close to ordering it (free shipping!!!), but decided against it. I had to return a couple of things at BRU yesterday, so bought a pink double headrest instead, and she can just be blinged out in pink with that. Hee hee.

I had a completely hormonal Tuesday. Overwhelmed by anything and everything and ended up bawling my head off by the middle of the day. Mitchell is really struggling with separation anxiety and it just kills me. On one hand, it's heart breaking because I absolutely hate hearing him cry and seeing his little face all wrinkled up like that. Plus he says "I need you!" now. Nice work, Mitchell. It just goes against your mothering heart to leave your screaming child like that. Ouch. On the other hand, it's quite irritating because I ALWAYS come back, he has a great time at school, with the inlaws, whatever. I know it's a phase but it's a sucky one and it just pushed my "cry, cry, cry" button on Tuesday.

We have got to start doing more with him at home in terms of coloring, cutting, painting, gluing, etc. He is really resistant and I'm tempted to use the word "hates" it most of the time, but Chris and I talked last night and we're going to go stock up on some good craft supplies this weekend and give it more of a push at home. We'll make it as fun as possible...I guarantee, trains will be involved! :) I don't want to force it, but at the same time, I don't want to neglect it and have him be 5 and not know how to hold a pencil the right way or cut on a straight line.

Okay...I'm starving. Off for some breakfast.

Everyone is so different...

I know, way to go Captain Obvious! But seriously, people are SOOOO different. I was just thinking about that on my way home from my prenatal water aerobics class tonight. We got into a discussion (can't remember how it even started) about women dressing provocatively, which led to women that you (as a woman) don't trust, which led to women and men who are married but cheat. One of the women said that previously, her husband had worked with a woman that was rumored to be boinking the boss. (The woman I know and her husband had since moved away, but he kept in touch with her.) Well, apparently she was sued by another person in the company because she got a promotion, while the suing person got passed over, even though it appeared it should be the other way around. She was feeding this "victim" story to this guy (the woman from class - her hubby) that she was just really misunderstood. So they get closer and sure enough, this woman checks her phone records and discovers that when she's going to the gym with the kids, he's calling the trampy lady. She didn't ever say anything about her discovery. At one point, she even wakes up at like midnight after they've both gone to bed, gets up to go to the restroom, discovers that he's not in bed, and goes to see why he's up. She hears him on the phone, so she listens to the conversation from his end and discovers that not only is he talking to this woman, he's having phone sex with her!!! SHE NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO HIM ABOUT IT. Okay...totally NOT what my reaction would be, but whatever. It gets worse, if you can believe that. So, I guess that this little trampy "victim" comes into town where they're now living for the weekend and he goes to spend time with her since he's her "friend" and comes home at like 3 in the morning. SHE STILL NEVER SAID ANYTHING. I guess that her friends still lived in the previous town and worked at the company and called to talk to her because they were concerned about her hubby's relationship with her and that they felt she was stringing him along. That's all she talked to him about...what her friends said. Nothing about what she herself knew. Unbelievable.

I don't know..maybe it's because of the experiences I've had before, maybe it's because I'm just a different person with a completely different personality, but there is NO WAY on God's green earth that I'd even let the calls while I'm out EVERY night go without a little chat. Beyond that, catching him having phone sex with her in the middle of the night??? Ummmm...no. Don't think so. And to top that whole thing off by allowing him to spend time with her while she's in town WITHOUT ME there??? I'm sorry...but him coming home at 3 in the morning is what I would expect as an outcome, personally. If they have phone sex, why else do you think she came to town but for some live, in-person sex???!!! Goodness. Oh, and for the record...this trashy victim lady ended up leaving her own husband (oh yeah, she was married as well) and running away with the boss after all.

I just was thinking about all of that on my drive home and how completely different people are. Not just how this woman failed to stick up for herself and her kids and hold her idiot husband accountable for his own behavior, but also how completely selfish and disgusting some people's lives are. I just will never understand treating other people that way. Having been on the receiving end of being cheated on while married (obviously NOT Chris), I think it's one of the most disrespectful, disgusting and loathsome things you can do.

The good news about all of this is that it confirmed to me what a great husband and overall solid marriage I have. I think that the trust and love and communication that Chris and I have is something I easily take for granted. Even though I've been through enough crap before that I really should never do that, I do. Well, tonight I got a little shot in the arm of feeling REALLY good about my own self-respect, the level of mutual respect in my marriage, and how incredibly lucky I am to be married to Chris. He's definitely the best friend I've ever had and I can honestly say that I am more in love with him every day. He's a wonderful husband and a completely fantastic father.

By the way...our 4th anniversary is in 2 weeks. Feels like it should be our 14th!! :) I love my husband. Let's end on that happy note.

Just another day...

Okay, so it's Sunday and I woke up at 5 a.m. today. I was dreaming about spiders (yuck!), so thankfully that was cut short by Mitchell's request to be covered up again and have his music start over. By the time I used the restroom and got back to bed, Chris was sawing logs (quite loudly) and Georgia had the hiccups. No more sleep for me.

Today I have a shower at my friend, Nicole's house. I'm excited because it's just a small little get together, not a big deal. I wasn't even planning on having one, but she and Jenn insisted, so here we are. It's just going to be me, my mom, my mother in law, my two grandmas, Jenn, Nicole and both of their moms. I had her include on the invitation that no one needs to bring anything...it's enough just to be together, eat some treats and be happy that Georgia will be with us soon. I told her if people brought anything, it would be great to have some food for the freezer and that's about it. The only trouble with this shower is that it starts at 12 and the Broncos play at 1:06. (Why do they start at odd times like that??) For most moms to be, no biggie. Unfortunately, I'm a HUGE Bronco fan, so I will be racing home to see the game. Chris just can't even BELIEVE we're having it then, but since the planning window was small (it didn't get rolling until like 2 weeks ago) and my parents are going out of town next weekend, this was really it. My mom has stuff at her church she's responsible for every Sunday morning, so that left Sunday afternoon. Oh well...I'm sure we'll turn it on at the shower, knowing all of us! :) (Well, except Nicole -- she is not so much a football fan, I don't think.)

May I take this opportunity to completely change the subject and say that I'm REALLY growing tired of Thomas the Tank. He's on my last nerve. It could be because he's EVERYWHERE in this house and in the car, etc. Ugh. I'm reaching my Thomas threshold...good thing I'll have the baby to distract me soon because otherwise it could get ugly for ol' Thomas!! (Just kidding, but he really is beginning to annoy me.) I'm sure when he moves on to his next obsession I'll be looking back "Oh, remember when he loved Thomas? That was so cute!" It seems to go that way, doesn't it?

Off to wrap my hostess gifts and make some chili for the boys while they watch the game!

Hormones...

Okay, so I haven't blogged in over 3 months...what else would I begin with but hormones??

I woke up this morning and just felt a bit "off". I was nauseated, a bit grumpy, REALLY tired and just not myself. I was supposed to go to my mom's house and drop Mitchell off so that I could use a gift certificate at the spa for a manicure and lip/eyebrow wax. About half an hour before I was supposed to leave, I decided to cancel since I'd hate to spend precious spa time feeling like crap. Of course, this has led to multiple phone calls from my family wanting to make sure that I'm fine. I completely started bawling on the phone with Chris when I called him to tell him how I felt...and have no idea why. Well, yes I do...hormones. I was (half) joking with Chris the other day that I can barely handle my own hormones...what in the world am I supposed to do with MORE girl hormones???

That said, I'm trying so hard to just enjoy these last couple of weeks of being pregnant. I'm sick of the maternity clothes and the underwear that Mitchell could use as a nightshirt, but other than that I'm (not today obviously) feeling pretty good. I was just laughing with the person who is doing my private practice billing for me on the phone yesterday about how boring my appointments are and that sometimes it's almost not worth the drive. She said she'd love to have that problem...her daughter was born at 24 weeks and she's 21 weeks along now and already having issues again. Talk about wanting to take your words and stuff them right back into your mouth!! Nothing like someone else's reality to make your own seem like a dream.

I think that the more I think about pregnancy and childbirth, the more and more miraculous it seems. I've recently dug out our "prepared childbirth" handbook so we could practice relaxation and breathing techniques since he wasn't up for the 3 hour refresher course. Looking at the pictures, reading the information...no offense to those whose opinions differ, but I for the life of me CANNOT understand how someone can not believe in God. Truly. There is a little PERSON inside of me right now, growing and developing. When she comes out she will have one of our noses, one of our eye color, etc. Her personality will (uh-oh) resemble that of some of each of us...yet she won't be a clone. She'll be her own little person and we are trusted with the privilege of raising her in this crazy world. It's just insane.

I've heard from other friends who have had more than one child about what a giant Mitchell will look like when we bring her home. I had my first taste of that when I put the little pack of her diapers away in the changing table. I had to go get one of his pullups to put next to it and I was just in awe that his bootie started that small. (Smaller actually...I remember using premie diapers on him for awhile.) Yet, he still does seem so small to me...he's our little man. I don't know how in the world he got to be three years old or such a great little person, I just know I feel lucky to know him, let alone be his Mommy and current best friend. He's such a sweet boy and I hate to think that will ever change. He is just such a caring little guy and seems to have such a heart for other people and animals...every time he sees a baby or an animal on tv, he instantly goes into high pitched voice mode and says "Oh, look at the little baby/puppy/etc." Today he knew I wasn't feeling good, and he was playing with his toys and listening to his Sesame Street cd while I laid on the couch. He came over and gave me this gigantic hug and said "I'm so sorry you're sick, Mommy." **Melt** Who can explain that sort of heart grabbing feeling? No one told him to say that...he just did. Then, he laid on the couch with me, giving "his" Baby Georgia a big hug and singing the songs to her for about 10 minutes. Doesn't sound like a long time, but that's pretty much an eternity to a 3 year old. He'd sing, then kiss her, then do tickly fingers and say "tickle tickle", then give her a little rub with his fingers. Way too cute and makes me so glad we decided to have another. He already loves being a brother and she's not even out yet.

Speaking of Mitchell..he just woke up from his nap so that's the end of my first blogging session in awhile. Thanks for the nudge, Kim. :)

Oh, to be two again...

We didn't leave the house today, so Mitchell and I had some major quality time together. As we went through the course of the day, I got to thinking about what it must be like to be two years old. I think it is as two-sided to them as it is to us on our end as parents.

On the one hand, life is great. Toys everywhere you look, you get help cleaning up, someone keeps you warm, fed, clothed, comfortable, and loved. Your pleasures and leisure time FAAARRR outweighs the demands that are put on you. I think my favorite might be nap time. It sure would be nice to get out every book, cooking utensil, scrapbooking supply and movie I had an interest in today and know that someone would swoop in and help me clean up my mess. I would love it if someone was making sure that I had enough blankets on me at night and that my temperature was okay. If someone made all my meals and did all my dishes, well, heck...that would be heavenly. Having someone bathe me, sing me songs while they massaged lotion onto my skin, and dress me in clean pj's wouldn't be so bad. Pretty much being entertained by someone or something throughout my whole day wouldn't be such a bad thing.

On the other hand, you are living with control freaks. Someone decides when and where you're going, who you're going with, where you sit, what you wear (most of the time), what you eat and drink, when you get changed/use the potty, and which activities you can and cannot do at any given time. Oh sure, you eventually get involved and are offered choices, but I'm not sure I'd enjoy having someone tell me what to do, how to do it, and hearing "no", "not now", "not yet", "not a good choice", "put that down", "please stop", etc. all day like he does. I know it's all part of life and that we're helping him make good choices and setting limits and boundaries for him, I just bet I'd get sick of it after a while. (I know, I know...we also praise him too, but I just was thinking about how it must feel to him. Obviously, that's a futile effort because they process things so much differently.)

I was really thinking about this during a couple of time-outs that we had today when all the poor little guy did was imitate me. I mean, how fair is that, he does and/or says what I say and he gets punished? Yikes. Let me explain...he woke up from his nap clearly too early, as he was still grumpy and groggy. My solution (since he had zero interest in remaining in his bed) was to have him lie on a pillow on the floor in the living room while I folded laundry. He had a blanket, had his cup of milk, all was good. He got this bright idea after I moved his Thomas book that he wanted to watch Thomas. Well, it wasn't "tv time" yet, so I said "No, not yet. Lay down and rest some more." Well, I've worked hard not to have words come out of my mouth that I don't want shot back at me, so one of the strategies I've employed is to say "shush" or "shhhhh" to him. Well, he "shushed" me very loudly and with his finger pointed. It was REALLY snotty, so I told him that wasn't nice, please don't do it again. He shushes me again. I told him that he was not being kind and the next time he said "shush" he'd be in time out. So, he did it again and there I was...the time out warden.

Mitchell does not like to stay in time out and that really frustrates me. So, my new strategy is the stairs. I can keep an eye on him, the clock, and keep my distance but be close enough. He has three stairs he can sit on...that way he has some control about where exactly he sits, so I'm trying to give him some room. Well, he kept insisting on sitting on the floor. Ugh. He is a screaming, crying, kicking, snot dripping mess at this point, but I feel like it's really important consistency-wise to see this through. So, in order for him to do his 2 minute time out, it ends up being close to a half hour of him sliding to the floor and me putting him back. Slide. Back up. Slide. Back up. I was working VERY hard to not lose my temper (which from the 15 minute or so mark on was pretty challenging) and the majority of the time I said nothing. Just re-positioned him on the stairs and walked away. (My back hurts now, by the way, in case you're wondering.) Occasionally I'd say, "Mommy can't start counting your 2 minutes until you stay in time out." When he did sit there, I'd praise him with "Good choice, buddy." Needless to say, he eventually made it out. He knew what he did and apologized for "shushing" and I explained that it was his loud voice and his finger pointing that made it not very nice. I told him that I know mommy does that too, and I'm sorry if it ever seems mean to him. We hugged, love you's, etc. and that was the end of rest time.

It just made me think though, how frustrated I would be if my "boss" acted like that. I mean, if I imitated what he said/did at staff meetings and was then put on probation or sent home for it, wouldn't that really make me mad? It's times like these when I just *hope* I'm doing the right thing. I just want him to be a good person who takes responsibility for his actions. Maybe I say "shush" or "shhh" louder than I think I do, or point at him...time to take inventory of that one! Here I was thinking I was doing all of us this big favor by not saying "be quiet" all the time...he might as well have told me to shut up with his body language and tone of voice today! Ugh. So NOT what I was hoping to accomplish. That happens a lot as parents, I think.

He really is a good boy and I think part of his hysterical tantrums during time out is just not knowing how to express his frustration. (That, and he is genetically at a disadvantage as the son of two parents who also know how to be cranky.) I try to give him the words, but how often is that successful for adults? I mean, really...how often can someone say "Tara, I know you're feeling frustrated right now, but you need to use your words." Wouldn't that just make you more mad?? When you're two, I imagine it's much more fulfilling to scream and stomp your feet and throw toys and hit and kick, because Lord knows that I still feel like doing that myself some days. (I'm a recovering door slammer, by the way.) Besides, no one makes me go to time out and sit somewhere to calm down...the difference is that I do it myself. (Remove myself from the situation or whatever.)

Today after the second timeout, we talked about making sure we help Georgia figure out how to be a good girl. We talked about whether or not he wanted her to learn how to hit, kick, yell, bite, etc. (Thankfully he said no to those.) Then we talked about good things we could teach her...using her words, hugs, kisses, clapping, singing, dancing, eating, etc. He seemed happy after that conversation. It amazes me that he really does love her very much already, and I don't think he even totally gets it yet.

I hope I'm not asking too much of him, but I feel like consistency is a huge part of helping Mitchell understand how to be successful in the world around him, and not just when it's going his way and catering to his every whim and fancy. I think he's getting it...but he definitely pushes the envelope to make sure. (We repeated the time out about two hours later for the same thing.) I hope he knows how much we love him, even when he's being a little stinker and that us loving him so much is the whole reason we're putting limits on him. I think he knows and it does my heart good to hear the GOOD stuff come back out at me, too. The "I love you", "Bless you", "I'll help you", "Sweet dreams", etc. I could actually write just as much, if not more on the good stuff...I was just motivated to think about the bad stuff today. If he ever has any doubts about us loving him, I guarantee we'll only be too happy to remind him as often as possible. :)

Actually becoming a morning person...

So, in the past, the hardest thing for me to do was get up at 5:00 am to get to work on time. Now, I'm up by 5:30 on my own and I'm really actually enjoying it, if you can believe that. I get to check email, blog (if I want to!), enjoy a cup of good ol' decaf, watch some of the news, jump in the shower, listen to my fave morning show on the radio...I love it!! Mitchell usually isn't up until around 7, so it's great "me" time. I know I'll lose it once Miss Georgia gets here, but for now, it's great.

I had to turn the heat on this morning because there was a chill in the air!! Hooray!! I love fall and the cooler weather. Don't get me wrong...I love summer and the warm air too, but enough already. It's October...it's not supposed to be 88 degrees in October like it was this weekend!! I don't want it to be just freezing yet, but getting out the jeans and sweaters sounds good to me! I think I'll make something in the crockpot for dinner...maybe some chili with steak in it? Yeah... I think so!

To get a bit off topic, Mitchell has a major obsession. Trains. Thomas the Tank Engine to be more specific. The only good thing for us is that he makes ANY train into Thomas with that good imagination of his, so at least it hasn't cost us a lot of money...YET. That's what we're doing for his birthday party, which--by the way, he asks us about EVERY single day. (Is it time for my birthday party yet?) I love that kid. He wakes up from his nap..."So, Mommy. First we change my diaper then I watch Thomas. Okay?" His voice goes way up like he's actually asking and not demanding. Funny how the tide turns and brings about sudden bursts of tears when I say "No, we're not watching tv." Sigh. He's pretty easily distracted with humor and if all else fails, we go on a hunt for Thomas and his friends in the living room. That's always big fun.

He's going to be Bob the Builder for halloween. He's very excited about it and also fluctuates between being Thomas and Bob when he grows up. The Thomas love is starting to drive Chris a little bit nuts, but I was talking to his mom the other day and he was the EXACT same way at this age with airplanes. (Yeah, that might be why we have a copy of "Air Combat" in every bathroom in the house.) I think it's just funny how trains seem to consume about 90 percent of Mitchell's brain from day to day. He pretends he's a train when he's walking (he's started to shuffle and chug now, so it's even becoming more refined), he whistles like Thomas while he's eating, his trains have to sit on the window sill to watch him eat all of his meals, they go in the car and wait for him while he's in school, etc., etc. I do love it though because it brings him such enormous joy and really does bring out some creativity in him while he's playing. We don't even have a train track or anything...I've kept holding off because he's fine without it and I thought tha coming downstairs to one that Santa setup with an actual Thomas character or two on it might be a magical moment. I can't wait for that!!

Makes me wonder what Georgia will be obsessed with? Hmmmm.... :)

Rush, Rush, Rush...

Why is it that now that I'm NOT working full time, I'm more busy than I was then? I feel like all Mitchell and I do is rush here, rush there, do this, do that. Sometimes we hardly have time to breathe, I swear! I have always had people tell me that I'm one of the busiest people that they know, and that it seems like I'm always on the go...I think I'm starting to believe them.

I think that there are two things contributing to my newfound awareness of my go-go-go lifestyle: I'm getting older and I'm feeling the impact of this pregnancy on my stamina. Now, I'm not saying I'm an old codger or something...but let me tell ya, there is a HUGE difference in energy between 22 and 32 and it's not on the positive side of the ledger. Man, if I had half the energy I did when I was 22 now, life would be great. Then pile on being pregnant...I'm huge. Well, not as huge as I'll be 5 months from now, but huge nonetheless. Yes, it's a good cause. Yes, I'm supposed to get all large and round. Yes, there's a person growing in there, but I am a big ol' momma. Pile on the extra weight and it takes extra work to haul it around with me all day.

Oh, and I forgot about the issue of my knee injury. It's been a year now (the week of Halloween last year) since I tore my patellar tendon. Part of me wishes I'd just had surgery...the other part of me wishes that I'd kept up more religiously with my rehab. Again, energy is the key here folks. I just don't have as much as I often need. I think I just need to bite the bullet and get myself to the gym. I just don't want to put Mitchell in the daycare. We already have him in school two days/week and the gym daycare costs $20 extra every month. Seems silly to me. I think I'll just do what we did before...work it out with Chris for him to be home by 7:30 three nights a week and go then and he can handle the bedtime routine with Mitchell. Then if I can make it on Saturday mornings, too...great.

I think I am my own worst enemy when it comes to rushing around. I have so many people I want to see, things I want to do, places we need/want to go...and I try to cram them all in. Sometimes I make it happen, but there's definitely a cost. Like no nap for Mitchell, or the laundry doesn't get done. Or the dishes wait until the morning. All of that stuff is fine, I know, but when "stuff" piles up, so does my stress, and as I've already mentioned, my energy level does not.

I think in general it's a losing battle and one that I'll be waging until my dying day, but I need to get better at two things to help myself out: saying no and time management for myself. I have a tendency to say "Sure" in response to everything and I need to stop that. I'm getting better and I've started with family since I know they'll still love me no matter what. :) I just hate to disappoint people, but I really need to at least say "Let me get back to you on that", take some time to breathe and prioritize and then give an honest reply including the words "I can't fit it in" if that's the truth. Chris is so good at that, maybe I should take a page out of his notebook. It's little things like answering the phone...for whatever reason, it bothers me to not answer the phone when I hear it ringing. It seriously drives me nuts...so I have a tendency to pick it up no matter what is going on. (Except diaper changes or if I'm in the bathroom or something.) If Chris is involved in something, he either says "Let it go" or "I'm not here". Why can't I do that?

I also just need to make sure that I schedule my OWN stuff first each month and then plug everything else in around it. I think that would probably be pretty helpful. Like the gym...I think it's pretty much a joke to say I don't have time to work out when I have time to be on the internet, checking email, typing this blog, etc. I just have to buckle down, decide what's important and get it done. I'm thinking that time will just become more precious once the baby gets here...can't imagine she'll inject any more free time into the picture. :)

Sigh. Life. It just keeps coming at you. I need to count my blessings and not take everything for granted or so seriously. I think I just get tired (hmmm...a theme?) and let stuff roll. We'll see what happens. Hope I'm not all talk!!

I am SO smooth...like sandpaper!!

Okay, so I'm not the most graceful person on the planet as it is. (My college roommate atually nicknamed me "ouch" because she heard me say it so often.) In a pregnant state, I go from bad to worse. Yes...I'm foreshadowing.

Yesterday Mitchell and I took his tricycle around the block while Chris hosed down the garage. (He likes to change the oil in our cars himself and for whatever reason, the box of yucky oil leaked this time.) I wanted Mitchell to be out of the way, so that was my strategy. The people who live by our mailboxes had a whole rack of what looked like really cute little girls' clothes at their garage sale, so on the way back around I stopped to tell my neighbor to check it out. (She has a 6 month old and a 2 year old...both girls.) Anyway, we get back and Chris is almost done but he's scrubbing and rinsing the last of it out. Now...I can't fault Mitchell for wanting to get in there and do some major splashing damage, but two things were in my mind: (a) I didn't want semi-oily shoes on my carpet, and (b) he had on his CU jersey for the game and I didn't want it all nasty. Of course he goes parading over to stomp and splash, which means he is doing his job as a 2 year old boy to a tee. With the above in my mind, I grab his hand with my left hand to pull him out of the water so we can watch Daddy work but not be in the water ourselves.

Dum, dum, dum.......

Well, I had on my flip-flops (which my husband and mother have now declared off limits to me for the duration of the summer) that happen to be like two years old with no traction. As I pull on Mitchell's hand and step backward, I have begun to slip. Now, were I not pregnant, this would have been very amusing...almost cartoon like...my feet were slipping like I was on a treadmill and I was like a sinking ship. We all knew I was going down, the question was how and when. The good news is that I had time to brace myself with my right hand, but I never let go of Mitchell (in hindsight I was thinking our little herculean toddler might actually save me) so I fell akwardly, but not very hard, on my left butt cheek and hit the tire of Chris' car with my lower back on the left side. Scared me quite a bit, but I was okay.

A couple of minutes later, I was like "You know, I think my back could hurt." A couple of hours later after sitting on the floor with Mitchell for a couple of minutes, I knew my back hurt when I started to get up. I decided to call my mom (who is a physical therapist). She had my do some little exercises and told me she'd call me when they left Boulder (they were at the CU/CSU game). She called about 1/2 hour later and told me she'd feel better if she came to take a look on their way home (oh...and we're about 1/2 hour out of the way home...she was being sweet). So, she came and looked...thinks I have a bruise brewing and that I might be sore. She wants me to call and at least let my OB know about the fall if I'm worse today. I think it's fine, I really do. I'm just such a clutz.

You know what's completely dorky? I'm really quite upset about the no flip-flop thing...and shhhh....I just won't wear them around those two!! There's no way I could cut them out completely; I'm an addict!!

p.s. - I woke up at 4:45 again. Sigh.

Shaken...

...to the core by what I've seen from this hurricane. I don't even live there, really don't know too many people who do or have, but it is FRIGHTENING on such a huge, heartbreaking, life-changing scale. It just does something to your insides when you see people interviewed on TV who have lived in New Orleans all of their lives and they say "This was it. This was the one we've heard about our whole lives." I mean, the ENTIRE city is underwater?? It's just nuts, and so is all of the stuff that follows. I guess in some way I sort of understand it, but in many ways it just makes me more sad for that whole community and for people in this country in general. The one that made me go from teary-eyed to flat out crying was the lady coming out of the store with a stack of diapers and wipes and she had them covering her face. Sigh. What in the world would you do?? I mean, what if you were a new mom and couldn't breastfeed? How would you handle it if you had to try and deliver a baby in all of that insane chaos? They showed a spot on the NICU at the only functioning hospital and this mom was standing next to her teeny tiny little life and saying that the machine keeping him alive depends on electricity. Can you even IMAGINE that kind of dread and fear??? I can't. The ironic thing is that I spent a few days all weepy and feeling sorry for myself over some (what I realize now is EXTREMELY trivial) "stuff" with life, and am now somewhat embarrased for even having had those thoughts. I'm luckier than I ever could have dreamed and need to live that way every day. Too bad it took seeing thousands killed, homeless and in desperate need for everything to make me realize. Someone slap me with the stupid stick, quick!!

My hope is that it brings out the best in people. Not just the rest of us who are lucky enough to be sitting on our couches, watching it unfold on our TV's while our kids eat snacks in their clean clothes and clean diapers. I think it goes without saying that we all need to give what we can. Look and see what we have two of that someone else might only have one of and give...I heard that on the radio today. Besides that, the obvious, I'm also talking about the victims themselves. My prayers for them have been to restore their determination and will, to not let this tragedy diminish their faith, and to somehow hold onto to hope through the kind words and actions of others. I know that will be tough to do, but that's my hope for them.

I don't really feel like writing about anything else today...it would feel pretty trivial.

Ahhhhh....the spa!

Okay, so I love the spa. I love it more when it's sandwiched between adults-only (in this case, girlfriends only) meals, followed by shopping. What's not to love? Someone else pampering you and turning you into a pile of mush?? Come on...that's some seriously addicting stuff. I got a facial and loved it. Apparently though, it's worth it to shell out MAJOR money for their top of the line facial...here's what it is:

Copperfalls Signature Facial: A combined facial & back treatment which addresses your specific skin care needs, emphasizing cleansing, exfoliation & hydration. This treatment releases stress in the shoulders, neck & upper back, & ends with a pressure point foot massage. A blissful experience from head to toe!

Yeah...she said it's like a massage/facial combo. Can you even imagine? Sounds like heaven to me!!

I loved my whole day out with the girls. We just had so much fun and you know, it's not like we "abandoned" our lives, just kind of let them sit to the side for a few hours. Our topics of conversation shifted...we talked about the hubbies and the kids, we talked about family, we talked about other friends, we reminisced...it was just a great day to be ME. Just Tara. Not Chris' wife, not Mitchell's mom, but Tara the person and friend out for a day with the girls. My day out prompted me to ask my friends on Mitchell's birth board when the last time they went out to any meal with someone (adult) other than their spouse was and the majority couldn't remember when, it had been so long. That is just reality, folks, but it made me sad because I know what a magical day it was for me. It sounds dumb, but it was so much fun, so relaxing, and just kind of "renewing" to think about myself for ONE DAY. I think everyone should try to do it at least one time a year...have lunch with a friend or two. Outside of your home. Away from the hubby and/or kids. Can you tell I enjoyed myself?

We said we need to do it more often as we were leaving to return home...I wonder if we really will? I hope so!!

Random thoughts...

Okay, so I'm beginning to think that I won't ever write in this at any other time except between the hours of 12-6 am. Another night of interrupted sleep...I fell asleep on the couch at 8pm, then put Mitchell to bed and was in my own bed (in my clothes) by 9 pm. I woke up, changed into pajamas and back to sleep. At 4:30 I had to use the restroom and it was curtains on sleep after that...oh well! At least I'd gotten 8 hours by then. So, here I am...using my time wisely. (ha!)

Things are going well for the most part...I'm feeling pretty good but my stomach is off and on with feeling settled. I think much of it has to do with me and the choices I make for what to eat. I had more sugar than normal the other day and paid for it the entire next day...think I should learn my lesson, don't you?? Overall, I'm feeling pretty good, just really tired. I'm into my 2nd trimester now, so hopefully will get a bit more energy here soon.

We have GOT to get crackin' on turning the office into Mitchell's room. I might try to tackle that today, as a matter of fact. It's a complete disaster zone and most of it's my issue to deal with. We just have to figure out what's going where in order to make room for the big boy bed. I think I found a bed that I want...both of our parents have offered to pay for it, so maybe we'll let them split it. :) Very diplomatic, don't you think? I'd love, love, love to get some new carpet before the baby comes so I want to start pricing that and see if it's even an option.

I seem to have the "six degrees of separation" experience at least once a month. I think that it comes up more often for me because I've lived here my entire life. Just yesterday a friend of mine said "I met someone who knows you today." I taught with her at the first school I worked at and she met a friend of mine that worked at the last school I taught at. They go to the same pool. Here are others that have happened recently: my principal's wife taught a friend's lamaze class, a friend from Gymboree met another friend from daycare at their neighborhood park, my friend from work--her sister is in a playgroup with a friend of mine from lamaze class, that same sister also has met both of my cousins...they both had a mutual friend in their weddings, etc. The list goes on, but it happens ALL the time. Chris also claims that we're unable to go to a public place without running into someone I know. That is a bit of a stretch, but somewhat true. Hey, I'm a social butterfly...hee hee.

Okay...I warned you, random thoughts this morning...

Nit pickers bother me. There is someone I have recently become acquainted with (I'll be purposefully vague here) who seems to ALWAYS have some issue with something someone says. Will start off with something nice, then will ask a completely unnecessary question that is aiming to do nothing short of proving herself to be an expert on being an expert on everything. It's really annoying. She has many good qualities and appears to be a very intelligent, caring person, but seems that she just cannot resist the urge to say exactly what she's thinking. Something she said yesterday brought the phrase "nit picker" to mind and how much it annoys me. Trouble is, I know I can be as nit picky as anyone, so it was a good reality check to see how it comes across with someone else. Not a fan.

You know what's funny? I've not shared this address with anyone yet, so here I am being completely vague about things and no one else even reads this. What a nerd.

My best friend is coming into town! Actually she got here last night but I get to see her tonight. I'm sad because it will be the only time I see her. They leave tomorrow and I guess have plans all day. She is such a special person and I just love her to pieces. Can't wait to get a huge hug to get me through a few more months! She lives in Houston...I'd love to fly down for the weekend soon and hang out...think I'll price some tickets.

Okay, enough rambling for one day. Can't believe I didn't even have a Mitchell topic, other than his room. Remarkable!! I am capable of adult thought for at least ten minutes!! :)